Just found out I'm adopted

[Nitro]

So I'm currently 19 years old and I just found out today that my life has been a lie and that I'm not who I think I am. I honestly don't know what to think at this point. I'm still having trouble believing it. As if it wasn't bad enough having my father pass away when I was 14 and going through all this depression I now find out I was someone's unwanted child. Wish I was never told about it to be honest.

 

[BiWinning]

Okay, my first couple attempts on this post were full of fail.
Proofreading...it didn't happen.

Anyways, they're still your family, and they shouldn't treat you any different then yesterday.
I mean, they still love you and all that family jazz.

 

[Felgen]

F*ck what your biological mother felt about you. Your current family probably loves you a lot. That makes you someone's wanted child.

 

[coyote]

So I'm currently 19 years old and I just found out today that my life has been a lie and that I'm not who I think I am. I honestly don't know what to think at this point. I'm still having trouble believing it. As if it wasn't bad enough having my father pass away when I was 14 and going through all this depression I now find out I was someone's unwanted child. Wish I was never told about it to be honest.

you're still who you think you are - the circumstances of your birth are merely different

please try to reserve judgment about anyone's motives before you find out all the details

perhaps you weren't "unwanted" at all - it may have been the hardest thing for your biological mother to do, and perhaps she did it out of love, thinking it was best for you, because she wasn't able to give you the life you deserved

good luck

 

[vj288]

I don't think this means your whole life is a lie, just because you're not biologically related should not change the relationship you have with your family, they loved you as their own because you are. Also, being an unwanted child is absolutely no reflection on you, at that age there really was nothing to you to like or dislike.

 

[kilojoule]

Im so sorry. I wish there was something to ease your suffering and help you with how you must be feeling. There is no adequate response I can give. If it helps please do post or email me privately and know that i will read and listen and there's no consolation anyone can offer but there is support. I really do mean that.

 

[Lowlight]

Who cares about biology anyway. You should love and care for the people who love and take care of you. It doesn't matter how you got here, because you are here now. You should love the people who love you regardless of what some biological goo tells you.

 

[¯\(º_o)/¯]

So I'm currently 19 years old and I just found out today that my life has been a lie and that I'm not who I think I am. I honestly don't know what to think at this point. I'm still having trouble believing it. As if it wasn't bad enough having my father pass away when I was 14 and going through all this depression I now find out I was someone's unwanted child. Wish I was never told about it to be honest.

If your an unwanted child, then why did your adopted parents spend the last 19 years raising you? Im sure its not the easiest thing to deal with, but that insults the people whom spent the time to raise you as their own

Those people love you, anson sure you love them in my oppion I don't see what changes that. People will always say "blood is thicker then water" or "family is forever and friends are temperay" but that's not true in my book. It the people who show you true love and real respect that are the only ones that should matter

Sorry for being kinda harsh and poor spelling

 

[kilojoule]

What everybodys saying is fair enough.

BUT (haha you all know me)

You cant possibly expect anybody to see it that way at first glance. No amount of logic or reasoning is going to help you. If it was any of us, regardless if we'd had an AMAZING life or not, we would ALL be in shock and feel these emotions. These are all very sensible comments but its too soon. This requires compassion. We would all feel like we were missing a piece, at a loss for our identity, betrayed. And no amount of applied logic would help that. Its too soon for all that.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

You ARE someone's wanted child - just because you aren't related by blood doesn't mean your adopted parents love you as much as any parent loves their children.
...As everyone has been saying.

You just need some time to let it sink in and to reflect on yourself.
You're still you; you just found something out that changes your family's medical history- that's all.

 

[kilojoule]

Sorry that was a litl unclear when i read it back. Apologies im still on phone. What I mean is i think everybody wants to be helpful but I dont think advice is going to be helpful. It must be such a big shock. I would imagine that it would feel like your identity had been scrambled. It would take time to process before deciding how you would feel about the situation. Initially your world would feel like a different place and the people would seem differently lit. It takes time. Nobody could ignore this thread but none of us really know what to say to help. Just sorry that youre in this difficult place. Please do feel free to discuss it or talk about it. Nobody could possibly undrstand but we will be happy to listen and offer opinion if you would like input.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

Your whole life isn't a lie. Everything you have done up until this point has been part of who you are and things you've done and experienced.

Being given up for adopted has nothing to do with being wanted or unwanted. Sometimes the circumstances are that in which your biological mother didn't have the means to give you the best life possible. There are hundreds of different reasons why you were given up for adoption, many of which have nothing to do with whether or not your biological mom loved you.

But your family loves you, it doesn't matter if they are the ones who gave birth to you or not. It may be weird to find out this information, but you aren't alone in this.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Okay but you were adopted so you wanted to be someones child who could take care of you better They just told you now since your at a more mature age, so you could handle it better