Just being myself.

U

UnOccupied

Well-known member
I have been feeling a LOT better lately with my SA and everything, because of the CBT i have been doing. Now that i am feeling a little better, i have time to focus on why i am thinking these bad thoughts and stuff, and i can figure out whats going on inside my head way easier. So, i realized that i have a lot of trouble just being myself, and i can finally work on doing this.

I just find it weird that it took me so long in life to actually understand what being yourself really means. For example, rather than just worrying about what others are thinking of me, i can stop these thoughts, and allow myself to just let go, and be myself. Its really weird to explain, but it is a good feeling.

Haha, so anyway, idk what exactly my point was in writing this, just wanted to see if anyone else has felt like this i guess.
 
EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Hmmm I think it's something we all have to, or have had to, realize. I have not been myself in public before...... You have kind of opened my eyes right there... I'm going to have to start trying this too :p
 
M

missjesss

Banned
so you would recommend cbt then?? I am currently seeing a therapist not sure what method she will use yet.. but tell me about cbt are u doing it in a group? and yes that is exactly our problem is we cud be ourselves in front of new ppl etc i would have no problems in life!!
 
U

UnOccupied

Well-known member
Yes, i LOVE CBT. It has really helped me out in the past two months, and i believe it is the only thing that can actually "cure" SA. And, after all, thats what we're all looking for, right? I do this program called "Overcoming Social Anxiety: Step by Step."

I just think its amazing how i finally realize that i do have the power to be myself. And how when you stop worring about what you are saying or doing so much, you can actually feel at peace, in yourself. I am starting to feel this more, and it is a GREAT feeling.
 
P

pirl

Well-known member
UnOccupied said:
Yes, i LOVE CBT. It has really helped me out in the past two months, and i believe it is the only thing that can actually "cure" SA. And, after all, thats what we're all looking for, right? I do this program called "Overcoming Social Anxiety: Step by Step."

I just think its amazing how i finally realize that i do have the power to be myself. And how when you stop worring about what you are saying or doing so much, you can actually feel at peace, in yourself. I am starting to feel this more, and it is a GREAT feeling.
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Is that the one that includes 'slowtalk'.. Have begun to listen to it but never got beyond the first couple of parts. My head is in a slightly better place (as regards trying to deal with SA) so perhaps I should try it again. I often find that I'm listening but not taking the lessons in so loose interest..
 
U

UnOccupied

Well-known member
pirl said:
Is that the one that includes 'slowtalk'.. Have begun to listen to it but never got beyond the first couple of parts. My head is in a slightly better place (as regards trying to deal with SA) so perhaps I should try it again. I often find that I'm listening but not taking the lessons in so loose interest..
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In my opinion, CBT is really something you need to be wholeheartedly ready for. I don't want to discourage you, but if you are busy right now in life, or are preoccupied with other things, maybe it is not the right time to do it. You really need to give it a solid half hour a day(i break it up usually, 15 minutes and another 15 minutes). It was kind of hard in the beginning, but like the teacher says, CBT is not necessarily "hard", it is just something that takes time. It really is an easy thing to do, it just works a lot better when you actually have faith in it, and want to do it. Social anxiety disorder is not something that you can snap your fingers, and it will just all of a sudden go away. You need to slowly work against it. That is why i like this series, it stresses taking your time, and daily practice. I have not missed ONE day since i started, and that was about three months ago. It recommends spending one week on each cd, with a total of 20 cd's in total. I did that in the beginning, but after disc 5, college classes started back up, and i found that the one cd a week added stress for me, so i switched to one every two weeks, and this helps me to solidify the work sheets better into my mind, and get more out of it.

It really is amazing how your thoughts are 100% responsible for our SA, and NOTHING else(obviously past experience and other stuff may have causes it, but our thoughts are what keeps it lasting). The audio series really helps one to slow down and work through our painful and irrational thoughts that keep up locked into SA.

I hope this answers some questions. If you guys have anymore, please let me know, i would be happy to answer. :)
 
TooShyShy

TooShyShy

Well-known member
I think thats fantastic!!!!!! Good for you coming up with that realization!!!

May i ask a few questions..where did the bad thought originate from? Do you know why and when all this started? What makes a person only have negative thoughts about themselves consistently and BELIEVE IT? And does this happen when you are in the presence of the opposite sex..say someone you like a lot?

Thanks:)
 
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pirl

Well-known member
Thanks for the info and interesting to hear feedback from someone who has used CBT. I agree completely that you need to be 100% focused to undertake something like this. My problem is that for most of the time, I can handle things ok so don't bother with the course. It's only when something stressful happens that I decide I should do it but by then of course, I am too stressed!
 
U

UnOccupied

Well-known member
TooShyShy said:
I think thats fantastic!!!!!! Good for you coming up with that realization!!!

May i ask a few questions..where did the bad thought originate from? Do you know why and when all this started? What makes a person only have negative thoughts about themselves consistently and BELIEVE IT? And does this happen when you are in the presence of the opposite sex..say someone you like a lot?

Thanks:)
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Thanks! Where the the irrational thoughts originate from? Gee, idk. I guess years and years of thinking bad about myself, and it slowly got worse, until i developed actual SA. It must have started from having judging parents, and then judging friends in middle school who always made fun of me. I think when we hear something bad about ourselves over and over, we start to believe it. Then it becomes a part of us, and then we start making up bad things about ourself, which is where actual SA comes from.

It's basically the same around girls. I find having small talk with girls i don't know well is a very hard thing for me, but i have gotten way better over the past few months. I actually am kind of together with a girl now. I couldn't have imagined this happening 3 months ago. :) I actually still do get nervous as heck when i want to call her up or text her, but who doesn't? And, i have backed out of making plans with her due to my fear of her not liking me, so i do know the SA is still there. I am not perfect though, and i am trying to take steps to get over these fears, but i am taking it slow(as recommended by the CBT).

pirl said:
Thanks for the info and interesting to hear feedback from someone who has used CBT. I agree completely that you need to be 100% focused to undertake something like this. My problem is that for most of the time, I can handle things ok so don't bother with the course. It's only when something stressful happens that I decide I should do it but by then of course, I am too stressed!
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Hmmmm, it sounds like CBT may not be right for you, but that again is just my personal opinion, it's ultimately up to you. I have heard ACT(Acceptance therapy, i think it is) is a very good cognitive therapy also. Or, some relaxation may sound good for you.
 
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Looking_in105

Looking_in105

Well-known member
Im really considering CBT, im not liking the idea of taking meds for the rest of my life.

So, is it only possible to get CBT from a psychologist, or do psychiatrists do it as well? if they both do it, who would be better you think?
 
Sial Axetder

Sial Axetder

1
UnOccupied said:
Hmmmm, it sounds like CBT may not be right for you, but that again is just my personal opinion, it's ultimately up to you. I have heard ACT(Acceptance therapy, i think it is) is a very good cognitive therapy also. Or, some relaxation may sound good for you.
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Yes, relaxation.
One day a week. Absolute nothing. If something then it will be done in time.
There's no rush.
 
Dronee

Dronee

1
I'm curious... I've heard of cbt many times before and I know of it in a casual way, but I didn't understand exactly what kind of questions and things the therapist use.
 
punklove

punklove

Well-known member
I'm glad you came to that realization that you can control your negative thoughts into something postitive :)
I'm doing CBT too and I think it may be starting to help me as well xD
 
U

UnOccupied

Well-known member
I am now about 70% through a CBT program called, Overcoming Social Anxiety: Step by Step, by Dr. Thomas A. Richards. I can honestly say that my "cure" for social anxiety is within reach. I am SO much more consistent now, and i can almost always diffuse my anxiety, and get through the related depression almost all the time now. I feel in control of myself, my thoughts, and am starting to gain more control over my life. It really is a good feeling.

Looking105, i would recommend this program i did. I actually downloaded it for free(i know, its not right, but i am broke and will repay the money when i get a job, i promise!) on the internet. It is good, because it lats the therapy out for you simply and it is slow moving, and everything builds on itself. I felt like the therapy was geared directly for me, meaning that every lesson i had seemed like it was specifically made for me.

If anyone else has anymore questions about CBT, PLEASE feel free to ask. I truly want everyone who is looking to be helped to have all the information they need. And, i want everyone to know that there is help out there that is attainable, and readily available. I just want everyone to start to feel the way i have been feeling lately. It is actually bothering me a little, lol...i mean, like it frustrates me that everyone on the forums isn't getting the help i got. I just want us all to succeed, because i know we all CAN.

Ok, im done rambling haha. :)
 
M

missjesss

Banned
I have been working with my therapist at stopping my negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones, I have also been doing positive affirmations in the mirror and my god what a difference!! today i was singing to my ipod in front of everyone walking to work! its fantastic so basically the cure is to just believe in ones self and talk to urself daily in the mirror and in ur mind with compliments and positive self talk but u must keep it up and stop a negative thought in its track also stop focusing on ppl around u and worrying about wat they think i promise u its rlly working for me!!! :)
 
LovelyAmor

LovelyAmor

Well-known member
UnOccupied said:
I am now about 70% through a CBT program called, Overcoming Social Anxiety: Step by Step, by Dr. Thomas A. Richards. I can honestly say that my "cure" for social anxiety is within reach. I am SO much more consistent now, and i can almost always diffuse my anxiety, and get through the related depression almost all the time now. I feel in control of myself, my thoughts, and am starting to gain more control over my life. It really is a good feeling.

Looking105, i would recommend this program i did. I actually downloaded it for free(i know, its not right, but i am broke and will repay the money when i get a job, i promise!) on the internet. It is good, because it lats the therapy out for you simply and it is slow moving, and everything builds on itself. I felt like the therapy was geared directly for me, meaning that every lesson i had seemed like it was specifically made for me.

If anyone else has anymore questions about CBT, PLEASE feel free to ask. I truly want everyone who is looking to be helped to have all the information they need. And, i want everyone to know that there is help out there that is attainable, and readily available. I just want everyone to start to feel the way i have been feeling lately. It is actually bothering me a little, lol...i mean, like it frustrates me that everyone on the forums isn't getting the help i got. I just want us all to succeed, because i know we all CAN.

Ok, im done rambling haha. :)
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Can you please tell me what website you downloaded this from? ::eek::
 
L

Leticia

Member
I think I've been doing kinda CBT by myself without knowing. I think about my SA everyday for the last 5 years or so, (since I first realized that feeling depressed and afraid of people was probably not normal) I found out some interesting things about why I am the way I am. I realized that it was related to the fact that I was bullied in 2 of the schools I've been to, that I probably don't like doing certain things because I'm afraid, not because I really don't like them and some other things. And the most important thing, I don't act like me at all, I'm never myself, in fact, I don't even know who I truly am cuz I've been hiding myself so for long. When I noticed that it was kinda shocking. I've been doing meditation to find my inner self and stuff, but I can't.
I like wearing things that most people don't and I keep thinking "Do I want to dress like that because it's really me or just because it will make people think I'm cool? But I'm shy of going out like this...so probably I don't think people will think I'm cool...but I feel cool, so I think people will say good things about me" It's confusing I know...but I don't know if it's really me or just my I-want-u-to-love-me-SA-personality...
This thoughts kill me everyday
 
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