Just another painfully shy teenager..

[Thorndrop]

How to introduce myself? Hmm... That's one thing I've never been able to do well. So I'll just get right into it.

Hi. I'm Chaz. I'm 17 and I'm from England. I'm socially anxious.

I've never had a good friend and I feel mentally exhausted if I have to make conversation. What do I say? What are people thinking? Will this sound weird? Am I being normal enough? That's only part of it, as I'm sure you can all relate.

That's why I joined here. Though I'm often quite happy being alone, I've always wanted to be able to relate to people and have people relate to me. I've tried explaining to people that if I don't talk a lot, it's because I'm just shy. They don't seem to understand what I mean by that, just telling me to 'get over it' like it's no big deal. To me it is.

My family don't help. My mum always points out my lack of friends whenever she can. It might be on a weekend when I'm doing something in my bedroom and she'll just say things like 'it's a nice day, why don't you go out and find some friends?' like it's the simplest thing in the world to do - it isn't!!

I've not been officially diagnosed with social anxiety (I guess because I haven't seen a doctor in about 10 years) but I'm almost dead certain I have it.

If anyone on here wants to talk to me, I've got no objections. It's just people I know at school who expect me to be a certain way (loud, outgoing, always with people) who irritate me.

 

[divethruhaze]

hey! welcome to spw!
here you will have lots of people you can relate to don't worry about that

 

[Ravens]

Hi Chaz, welcome to the forum. It's a pain when all around you are severe extroverts, I know the feeling well. I can sympathise with the old "go out and find some friends and enjoy yourself" remark, I got that too ::
Generally in life there will always be others around you who are shy, introverted or at least not generally "loud". I kind of levitate toward them... I prefer a small group of friends to a large bunch as most introverts do. If you're in a situation where you can get to know anyone who's less extroverted I'd try that, it does help.

I think a lot of people will be able to relate to what you're saying here though, and at your age there's still plenty of time for things to get better without adversely affecting your life.
I hope you gain something from your experience on the board anyway

 

[jayo]

Mate - thanks for posting.

Coming on here and being so honest about what affects you is always the first step to a better place.

I am 37 - !!! - and first felt the symtoms of this thing at 16/17.

My advice is if you feel that your social anxiety is pronounced enough to prevent you from going to parties, making new friends, feeling comfortable in social situations then go to your local GP as your first port of call.

Describe to him/her these symtoms and they may refer to a cognitive behavioural therapist to help your thinking processes.

But please don't do what I did for years and hope it would go away.

It won't unless you are prepared to work at it but the help is there on the NHS.

Best of luck.

 

[Placeway]

Im 24-had this agoraphobia for 13yrs its been hell-but there is tons of help online and in books-I had it really bad between the ages of 17-21-with all the time I had
sitting in some strange fear I had tons of time for reading books,and books and books,and spending hours of so-called- repairing mind...and Its working-.Just think positive all the time even if you feel like hell....you';lll make it out this type of state of mind sooner or later.
-just think of yourself instead of spending time worrying about what other people think of you.

God bless.

 

[chained]

heeeey I'm 17 too, and I understand if u ever wanna chat [email protected]

 

[Interzone]

Hey I know that you're going through, it's very similar to my situation. I also hate it when people have the "just get over it" mentality as if we could just wish away our SA. Only to have nagging mothers asking us why we are always alone as if they were going to help us in someway besides giving us some useless advice and/or sending us to a stupid therapist who's not going to help because all they want is money and they really don't give a damn about you.

 

[AimeeSP]

Hello Chaz i'm Aimee, also 17. I can relate to alot of what you're saying especially with the "What do I say? What are people thinking? Will this sound weird? Am I being normal enough?" questions, i always have them running through my head when i'm around people i don't know, and even around my friends and certain family members. Even now i'm having to re read whatever i type, i worry too much about hurting peoples feelings because i seem to be a highly sensitive person. If you'd like to talk i'd be more than happy too.

 

[Hellhound]

I can relate, especially with the part of being misunderstood... People don't seem to understand that one can't just "go out and make friends", life is not that simple and one can't get over these things just because other says so... If we were able to do it, we would surely do it, it's not like we are in this situation because we want to... Most people are really ignorant...

Anyway, welcome to the site!

 

[limetree]

Hey I'm 17 too and I believe you are totally normal... maybe we wouldn't be painfully shy if more people understood, sympathised and were patient with our difficulties. My parents are worried that I'm such a recluse but I'd rather be alone than out with blatantly incompatible people. If you feel like your personality is rare it'll take some patience and effort to find the right friends for you, but don't lose hope, this forum is full of people who relate. I was nervous as hell to call a psychologist but it's probably one of the best decisions I've ever made.