Jealousy of other people?

[dottie]

yeah, sometimes. this is what makes me jealous... i've a lot of female friends who are married and not working. to love and be loved? and committed? and not have to work? and live in a big, fat house? and pursue your dreams all day? and have health insurance? go on vacations every now and then? i work my ass off and still can't afford any of these things on my own.

there is nothing i would love more than to have the opportunity to be a housewife. there is nothing i am so good at as domesticity... which is not appreciated in this modern world. i can try to delude myself into the thought that i am some strong, independent woman making it in the real world. really, i am a mere slave. persuit of happiness? with what time? what money?

eta: i'm also jealous of rich kids. not the jackasses... the ones who come from both financial and emotional stability. the ones who have deep, secure roots. you can tell they've been well fertilized and tended to since being a seedling. they thrive. while i struggle just to look other people in the eye and breathe calmly.

 

[JackOfSpades]

Yes women can be just as vain as men when it comes to choosing partners, but I imagine many would agree that men are definately more inclined to go for good looking ladies. You almost always hear or read men going 'she was so beautiful and so nice' much lesser simply 'she's so nice' therefore he is interested, the beautiful part always come into play for a man to find a women so great. Whereas it is lesser that a women go 'he's so handsome and so nice' they do simply like a man simply because 'he's so nice' more often.

I don't agree. And I don't agree that simply not saying it was for looks means it was not for looks. It is less like for a woman to say "he's so handsome and so nice" but that doesn't mean his looks came any less into play. All it means is she's less likely to say it aloud.

 

[Fighter86]

I am not sure I totaly agree with what you say here. From my own exsperince and what I have seen even if the guy is the the best person in the world but dosn;t have the looks to go with it more often then not he will not be liked simply becasue he is so nice. He will get friend zoned faster than you can blink your eyes and im sure there are woment with the same kind of exsperince as me. I think no one is more shallow than the next person shallow is shallow.I think it just all depends on if you are male or female as to how you look at it.

I think for men the key is personality. With that makes little difference if you are good looking or not women tend to gravitate towards you. I see your point but somehow it is more often you see ugly man with good looking women than ugly women with good looking men. Tha latter is almost a rare sight.



Also I think the reason men get friend zoned is because they try to pick the more attractive ones and naturally if the girl is attractive she would rather prefer someone she finds attractive as well.

 

[truffleshuffle]

I think for men the key is personality. With that makes little difference if you are good looking or not women tend to gravitate towards you. I see your point but somehow it is more often you see ugly man with good looking women than ugly women with good looking men. Tha latter is almost a rare sight.



Also I think the reason men get friend zoned is because they try to pick the more attractive ones and naturally if the girl is attractive she would rather prefer someone she finds attractive as well.

Like I said Its only from what I have seen. and I have seen it both ways ugly man with good looking woman and ugly women with good looking men. Like i said shallow is shallow no matter how you try to spin it. If the person has a good personality thats a+ but if they dosn;t have somethng else going for them they probably wont get the time of day.

 

[truffleshuffle]

yeah, sometimes. this is what makes me jealous... i've a lot of female friends who are married and not working. to love and be loved? and committed? and not have to work? and live in a big, fat house? and pursue your dreams all day? and have health insurance? go on vacations every now and then? i work my ass off and still can't afford any of these things on my own.

there is nothing i would love more than to have the opportunity to be a housewife. there is nothing i am so good at as domesticity... which is not appreciated in this modern world. i can try to delude myself into the thought that i am some strong, independent woman making it in the real world. really, i am a mere slave. persuit of happiness? with what time? what money?

eta: i'm also jealous of rich kids. not the jackasses... the ones who come from both financial and emotional stability. the ones who have deep, secure roots. you can tell they've been well fertilized and tended to since being a seedling. they thrive. while i struggle just to look other people in the eye and breathe calmly.

Yes its hard to watch people have the things you need or crave. All the while you just spin your wheels and struggle just for a few inches of tracktion

 

[Fighter86]

I don't agree. And I don't agree that simply not saying it was for looks means it was not for looks. It is less like for a woman to say "he's so handsome and so nice" but that doesn't mean his looks came any less into play. All it means is she's less likely to say it aloud.

Yes looks do come into play for women but as one of them I feel there are much wider range of qualities women do look out for rather than men. Like wealth & power, personality etc. Whereas for men I think the first foremost is looks. I am sure character plays a part but somehow it pales conpared to looks. How do I describe, I am not quite sure how to explain but for women looks are definately more important for attracting males than for men to attract females.

 

[pop-princess]

I'm extremely jealous of others be it my friends, people I don't know or celebrities (not something i'm proud of at all). I can get really bitter and I often have a hard time giving compliments to people because i'm jealous.

Facebook, twitter and certain lifestyle blogs makes me feel jealous and bitter everyday

 

[InvisaLady]

You make a good point in this thread. As a woman, I will admit to being shallow/superficial when having crushes on guys. I daydream about guys who are handsome and rich, but I'm scared of admitting this because I don't want to be called shallow, superficial, gold-digging, etc. But in real life, I know I won't ever score such a guy because let's be realistic here, I'm not hot, good-looking, or wealthy.

I'm not sure why men or women are thought of as being "shallow" for wanting a partner that THEY find attractive. Would anyone be happy with a spouse that they find repulsive in the looks department? No, I don't think so.

I think the main difference is that men will judge on looks first and with women , they will weigh looks a bit farther down the line of importance.

 

[Razzlecherry]

I generally don't get jealous of people, probably because I regard pretty much everyone higher than I do myself. I accept what I am and what I have.

 

[Emerald_]

I don't get *envious* of other people. It's a rotten emotion, and not everyone partakes in it (contrary to popular belief).

 

[Luka]

I don't get really jealous about small things honestly. But I hate seeing my close friends finding better people to talk to because I feel like I'm not good enough. Silly, I know.