Its a jungle out there!

[skins]

I guess this question is sort of directed at the guys in the forum, but do you feel that the dating scene is so competitive between single guys all looking for dates its almost not even worth trying if you are a guy?

To me its feels like even the most shy, unassuming girls, with boring personalities will still have plenty of guys hanging off their arms as "friends", just waiting for the chance to say yes...while if you are a shy unassuming guy with not much going for you then its hardly even worth the trying.

I guess this is sort of a vent from something that happened last night, was dating a girl and spent most of the day with her drinking and stuff then in the arvo dropped her at home as she was getting "tired" only to find she spent the night down at the pub and saw in the new year with some guy over her place. I dunno if anything happened and we havn't been dating long, just a bit offended she chose to spend the evening with another guy despite me putting in all the effort. *sigh* I give up.

 

[Kiwong]

Well I was out in the Subtropical Rainforest, not technically a jungle, the other day. I enjoyed myself immensely without worrying about the dating scene. To be honest, the dating scene has become as irrelevant to me as knitting or bingo scenes.

 

[S_Spartan]

I guess this question is sort of directed at the guys in the forum, but do you feel that the dating scene is so competitive between single guys all looking for dates its almost not even worth trying if you are a guy?

This is why many men are now turning to the "MGTOW" lifestyle!

 

[skins]

This is why many men are now turning to the "MGTOW" lifestyle!

yeh and I hate that movement..i don't ever want to be one of these insuffereable whingers...sorry I shouldn't have vented, I can't stand any gender war arguments and this wasn't meant to be one.:shyness:

turns out I had my wires crossed anyway, she wasn't "playing" me or anything, was just with a friend she had known for 14 years...but yeh Kiwong as the years drag on, the more and more I feel out of touch with dating or how this stuff even works, such is life.

 

[S_Spartan]

yeh and I hate that movement..i don't ever want to be one of these insuffereable whingers...sorry I shouldn't have vented, I can't stand any gender war arguments and this wasn't meant to be one.:shyness:

turns out I had my wires crossed anyway, she wasn't "playing" me or anything, was just with a friend she had known for 14 years...but yeh Kiwong as the years drag on, the more and more I feel out of touch with dating or how this stuff even works, such is life.

I was just pointing out that there are men who are making a lifestyle out of "giving up" on dating because they say it has become too complex. Which is pretty much what you were saying in your OP.

 

[skins]

I was just pointing out that there are men who are making a lifestyle out of "giving up" on dating because they say it has become too complex. Which is pretty much what you were saying in your OP.

oh yeh, well in that case I whole heartedly agree :thumbup:

 

[Aylaa]

To me its feels like even the most shy, unassuming girls, with boring personalities will still have plenty of guys hanging off their arms as "friends", just waiting for the chance to say yes...while if you are a shy unassuming guy with not much going for you then its hardly even worth the trying.

As a shy, unassuming girl with a boring personality I can tell you thats not true

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I was just pointing out that there are men who are making a lifestyle out of "giving up" on dating because they say it has become too complex. Which is pretty much what you were saying in your OP.

I gave up because clearly nobody has ever had any interest in me, it wasn't complexity. Just my opinion maybe?

 

[BlueDays]

As a shy, unassuming girl with a boring personality I can tell you thats not true

^As another shy, unassuming girl with a boring personality, I second that.
At times I do wish it was true though. :sad:

I gave up because clearly nobody has ever had any interest in me, it wasn't complexity. Just my opinion maybe?

I have given up for the same reason.
Had one partner in my life but that was because I got so desperate I somehow managed to make myself chase him! lol :shyness:
Still have no idea how I managed to get the courage up to, maybe it was a primeval instinct in me taking over control of my brain for a short while. :bigsmile:

 

[nodejesque]

As a shy, unassuming girl with a boring personality I can tell you thats not true

Like Blue, I agree with Aylaa. It is far from the truth. And as a shy person, myself... I can attest to men (even shy ones that I have met) go for the long legs, hair, and nails.


I think we all just see it this way. Men and women.

I'm sorry, that you were feeling down, Jamie. Hope that you were able to work it out.

 

[Odo]

I guess this is sort of a vent from something that happened last night, was dating a girl and spent most of the day with her drinking and stuff then in the arvo dropped her at home as she was getting "tired" only to find she spent the night down at the pub and saw in the new year with some guy over her place. I dunno if anything happened and we havn't been dating long, just a bit offended she chose to spend the evening with another guy despite me putting in all the effort. *sigh* I give up.

It's not a complete loss-- at least now you know for sure you were wasting your time and don't need to let her keep stringing you along.

I would also suggest it's time to stop chasing after party girls and look for something more stable. No matter how much money or time you put into them, they don't owe you anything and are only interested in doing whatever makes them happy for the moment.

 

[Argentum]

The irony is that actual shy, unassuming girls are invisible even to shy, unassuming men who only see "shy" girls who may be real lookers and assume that's as bad as it gets.

 

[Hellhound]

The irony is that actual shy, unassuming girls are invisible even to shy, unassuming men who only see "shy" girls who may be real lookers and assume that's as bad as it gets.

So many complaints about being invisible to girls... but a lot of these shy, unassuming girls are ignored for not being "cute" or "hot" :sad: Makes me sad that not many people pointed this out.

 

[Argentum]

So many complaints about being invisible to girls... but a lot of these shy, unassuming girls are ignored for not being "cute" or "hot" :sad: Makes me sad that not many people pointed this out.

Invisible, along with the state of things for your average woman being over-hyped.

I certainly don't see hordes of men trailing after me when I step out of the house, even though I'm in a male-dominated field. My male classmates talked to me because I double-checked their cabling for them and shared my notes, not to fawn over me. I suppose I don't count.

Come to think of it, I didn't see them fawning over any of the women in my tech classes even though there were a couple of lookers. And even if such a thing had been happening, who's to say any of it would have been genuine? Who's to say a celebrity like Emma Watson doesn't have to wade through a sea of men who see dating an actress as a novelty or achievement to find one guy who's into the woman behind the fame? Love and trust are always hard to find in a cruel world, and men can always flash money if they want to see people come to them in droves...

But I don't think that's the kind of attention anyone wants.

 

[Hellhound]

Invisible, along with the state of things for your average woman being over-hyped.

I certainly don't see hordes of men trailing after me when I step out of the house, even though I'm in a male-dominated field. My male classmates talked to me because I double-checked their cabling for them and shared my notes, not to fawn over me. I suppose I don't count.

Come to think of it, I didn't see them fawning over any of the women in my tech classes even though there were a couple of lookers. And even if such a thing had been happening, who's to say any of it would have been genuine? Who's to say a celebrity like Emma Watson doesn't have to wade through a sea of men who see dating an actress as a novelty or achievement to find one guy who's into the woman behind the fame? Love and trust are always hard to find in a cruel world, and men can always flash money if they want to see people come to them in droves...

But I don't think that's the kind of attention anyone wants.

Definitely not :sad:

 

[Aylaa]

I gave up because clearly nobody has ever had any interest in me, it wasn't complexity. Just my opinion maybe?

Same here. I'm just not the girl that guys fall in love with. Part of me has accepted it and part of me feels I'm too young to be this bitter.

So many complaints about being invisible to girls... but a lot of these shy, unassuming girls are ignored for not being "cute" or "hot" :sad: Makes me sad that not many people pointed this out.

I would also suggest it's time to stop chasing after party girls and look for something more stable.

It feels like most men aren't interested in something more stable, and that's how the shy girls get ignored. They want hot or cute.

Someone posted something about there having to be an initial spark somewhere, I thought it was this topic but I gues not since I can't find it. For me it's not like that, I believe that things can grow, but maybe that's just me.....
The last guy I fell for, I had absolutely no interest at all when we first met; he wasn't my type and I wasn't the least bit attracted to him. It was only after I got to know him that I started to like him and noticed he was actually kinda cute.
The ironic thing here is that it was probably only the fact that he was not even remotely interested in me that made him be more open towards me and also show me his weaknesses instead of pretending to be this confident person, because he wasn't trying to impress me. That's what made me fall for him but sadly he remained uninterested