Isn't CBT Completely Unrealistic?

[Feathers]

I watched a youtube video and this guy said that in CBT they made you get up in front of everyone and act like an animal, like making noises and stuff. No way would I do that. I don't see how I could ever do anything like that.

This is the first time I read about CBT in connection with something like this. Know that CBT is mostly just talking or writing about things.

What you write about seems more like dance or drama therapy or bodywork or some other things..

 

[Feathers]

the point i been tryin to make (and i think Hopelessmess as well) is that the degree of desensitization to negative/hurtful judgements might make a person too soft. what if you're in that extreme, rare situation where it's more mentally damaging to ingnore a bombardment of negative jundgements and insults than to bristle visibly or retaliate verbally just a little bit, even if the act gives you an anxiety attack? same thing for me, what if the van had faulty breaks and they gave out halfway, my dulled sense of physical danger would have gotten me run-over.

btw, i don't have any real beef with cbt, but with what little i've researched on it i can see there might be some holes in this treatment method.

I think none of the therapies is completely self-sufficient and working in all areas with all people - that's why there are many approaches... You can try several to see what works best for your specific problems and issues and your life..

If avoiding cars is an important part of your life you may indeed need different training than someone who hikes in rural area all the time..

CBT can also be adapted to different things and situations..

CBT or assertiveness/emotional intelligence training can give you tools to apply when you want them to. And to help you react in a situation appropriately - sometimes looking cross or shouting may indeed be a more appropriate response, but not always!! It's good to have a repertoire of tools and responses you can try.

Hypersensitivity can develop when you feel in personal danger and it can be helpful then. If it's present in non-life-threatening suituations, it can be annoying. (First-hand experience.)

 

[HopelessMess]

I was gonna recommend The Feeling Good Handbook but someone beat me to it! It really helped me a lot in the past!

Hmm, it seems like alot of people recommend this book. I already have a copy of "Feeling Good" by Burns(unread), which kinda looks like a longer, more boring version of "The Feeling Good Handbook". Maybe I should just toss this one and order the "Handbook", since that's the one that everyone seems to recommend.

I watched a youtube video and this guy said that in CBT they made you get up in front of everyone and act like an animal, like making noises and stuff. No way would I do that. I don't see how I could ever do anything like that.

That sounds more like exposure therapy or something . Like where they make you intentionally do something incredibly embarrassing to make you get over your fear of it.

Personally, I think this would probably be pretty effective(although horrifying ). Way back before my SA got so bad, I was in a punk band. We would get up and play in front of crowded bars full of screaming drunks. After I'd done that a few times, I did tend to feel slightly more relaxed in public situations. I would just tell myself "You were able to get up on stage in front of a room of loud judgmental drunks, surely going grocery shopping is no problem"

 

[Feathers]

Hmm, it seems like alot of people recommend this book. I already have a copy of "Feeling Good" by Burns(unread), which kinda looks like a longer, more boring version of "The Feeling Good Handbook". Maybe I should just toss this one and order the "Handbook", since that's the one that everyone seems to recommend.

Not sure, maybe you can just look at the one you have too? (I never read it though.) The Handbook is good because it has exercises, stuff to write in.. You work on examples provided there and your own thoughts. Does your book have that too?

WOW, you were in a punk band!! /admires you/
Yeah, I can relate to how it can make you feel braver!!

I was on stage a few times too, however some specific situations still freak me out, lol! It's different to stand on stage or think of talking to a politician or do any state-wide projects or whatever.. Though I guess both can be scary before you do it for the first time.. (I was totally scared before I was on tv the first time too, and then I was like, I was scared of that? lol!)

 

[HopelessMess]

Not sure, maybe you can just look at the one you have too? (I never read it though.) The Handbook is good because it has exercises, stuff to write in.. You work on examples provided there and your own thoughts. Does your book have that too?

I'm not sure if my book is similar or not. It has "coping mechanisms", but not really what I would call exercises. And it definitely doesn't have any place to write things in.

My book does have examples and advice on how to overcome self-defeating thoughts, etc. But again, it sounds like the Handbook might be more helpful as a "treatment regimen" if it gives you specific tasks to help you. Is that what you mean? That the Handbook gives specific tasks to try and a place to write your failures or successes?

 

[Feathers]

Oops, didn't see this before!

The Handbook has exercises where you can eg look at other people's thoughts and see which distortions you find.. (And then he tells you..)

And you can also work on your own negative feelings and beliefs too.. He gives you a procedure how to go about it..
(You can do it in the book or in a notebook and just use the book as a guide )

It was very helpful especially the 1st time I read it and did all the exercises etc.

I don't remember any specific 'tasks' as in 'go there and do that' - that was in another book called 'Meeting People Is Fun' (eg go talk to a shop assistant first..)

The Handbook basically gives you charts to fill in Makes you think and feel differently about certain things..

 

[TooShyShy]

What about anxiety and avoidence towards the opposite sex..you want a relationship, and love, hopefully sex..you like someone ALOT (you see them working at the coffee shop every day (or every other) but can't bring yourself to make a move ever?


How would CBT work in that situation?

 

[Feathers]

What about anxiety and avoidence towards the opposite sex..you want a relationship, and love, hopefully sex..you like someone ALOT (you see them working at the coffee shop every day (or every other) but can't bring yourself to make a move ever?
How would CBT work in that situation?

I don't know, I never used it that way... I wouldn't make a move on a guy anyway.. He'd have to make a move first..

You could chat to them and hopefully he'd chat back.. It's better if you just smile and he talks to you first..
You could use CBT on any negative thoughts in your head like, 'Oh, he won't like me anyway'... into 'Who knows? Am I a mindreader?'

Or to combat any other negative thoughts to be more at ease or even cheerful and happy - enthusiasm is often found more attractive (if it's real and genuine and not fake and if you don't 'overdo' it, and if other people aren't miserable - in that case enthusiasm can sometimes be seen as 'annoying' lol)

So, you could use ACT - accept yourself, accept the situation... Work on any negative thoughts with CBT.. Go into situations where you meet interested and available men... (?)
It seems you might be attracted to people who seem a bit 'unavailable' (?) Just an impression... There are books written about that too.. You might wanna work on that too?

 

[TooShyShy]

I've never made moves on men either..they always ask me out. Its easier for women in that respect.

But my brother and cousin are both love shy men and have had many issues with asking women out..they basically don't. Its sad.