Is this separation anxiety?

[griceldan51]

I guess I don't really know if this is separation anxiety or not, but this is what the situation is and what I feel. Lets say my wife calls from work and says that she is going out with her co-workers for a few drinks because of a recent proejct success. Right then and there, I get a little sense of ugh because she is going to be going to an even that I won't be at, and there is a change in the scehdule that we normally follow. So, I get the kids, go home and get them fed, etc. Get them in bed, and then sit and watch a movie. And wait. And wait. And now it's 10 pm and I have not heard from her. Now 10:30. So I call her, because I am worried, and I am starting to worry about what MAY happen, or could happen, to her since I am not there to protect (or control the situation around her). She answers, and tells me that she will be leaving in a half hour, and she is ok to drive. So, an hour goes back,and I know that the place is 20 minutes from our house, so I start to worry more. And I start to get an anxious feeling in my chest, and I cannot focus on the movie. I'm not pacing, but I'm worried. So I call again, and she is now in the car talking to her friend who just got done with a divorce, and she is making sure she is ok to drive, and she'll be leaving in a few. 45 mintues later, my wife is still not home, and now I am beside myself. I am stressed and anxious, etc. When she finally does come home, I am ok. Is this Separation Anxiety? I don't get this way when she is at work. I'd like her, when she travels, to let me know when she leaves our house and when she gets to her mothers house, etc. Just so that I know that she is safe. I don't need to know anything else, just that she is safe. Thanks,

 

[Silatuyok]

I do this exact same thing. Except, when my partner does finally get home, I'm furious and sick with anxiety instead of being okay. I don't know what causes it, but my bf knows how much I worry and tries to keep me updated to some extent. Other than that, I just try to occupy my mind as much as possible and try to lose track of time.

 

[Waybuloo]

I don't think it's separation anxiety, it seems to have more basis in OCD. Isn't separation anxiety more to do with YOU not feeling safe, whereas you said you worried that you can't protect your wife. Your anxiety springs from selflessness, so it doesn't seem like it to me. Having said all that I don't know what exactly you have.

 

[MtBikeDude]

Wow, reading that was like I was reading about myself. I get the same way (single now though). It didn't always happen but somtimes if my girlfriends would go out without me I would worry like crazy.

It even happened once when my ex girlfriends car broke down on the side of a highway. I was on my way to help and tried calling her cell. When she didn't answer I was terrified that maybe she got rear ended. I felt it in my gut, I just knew something bad happened. Turned out she was on the phone with the tow truck... Once I talked to her though I was back to feeling completely normal.

I never thought of myself as being controlling but that sure sounds like a "situation control" issue.

I'm with you griceldan, and a bit embarrassed now that I'm sitting here thinking about it.

 

[recluse]

Sound like gad. Excessive worrying over things.