Hi all,
Recently I have become besotted with somebody at work and I dont know what to do. I guess I need some advice or coping strategy.
Whats worrying me is the strength of my feelings for her and I am concerned my previous issues with SA have something to do with how im feeling. Here is what I think is the cause of my recent situation but you guys might have more of an insight.
Let me start by saying my problems with SA have improved immensely over the last year but for about 4 years before that I was in a bad place. I had few friends and did not have hardly any social interactions. I spent nearly every waking hour at home in my room playing computer games and drinking alone. My relationships consisted of occasional one night stands(of which im not proud of) but it gave me comfort to feel wanted and I could continue living in my life. The thought of seeing these people in a sober situation was too much of an anxious trauma so I never called them back.
Over the last year though I have found more people I can call friends and have now got a social life and gained in confidence, for a while this was enough to make me content (though not happy, havent felt happy in about 7 years.). I thought this would make me happy but I feel discontented again. I cant feel happy because all I want is to be in a relationship with this person and my feelings for them aren't reciprocated unfortunately.
What is strange is the fact I havent known this person that long and we dont see each other all that often but we do text each other several times a day. What is scaring me is my behavior. I find myself getting really depressed if she doesn't text back. If I See her having a laugh with somebody else at work I get jealous. I find myself looking on facebook to see whos shes talking to. I lie at wake nearly every night replaying our conversations and thinking what I can do to make her laugh the next day. When my SA was bad I couldn't even think about a relationship. It was too scary but then I never got on with many women my age due to my shyness and quietness. But with this person it's different we can talk comfortably, I can make her laugh and I want to be around her all the time even though im nervous still at times.
Do you think this is normal or do you think Im obsessed with her because its been so long since I had a relationship and shes the first girl to show me some affection even if its just in the friendly sense. My friend thinks I should give it more time to get to know her but I dont want to face the heartbreak if it goes wrong and Im worried I will turn to the alcohol again to cope.
I thought Id be happy with getting better and getting a social life but none of that matters at the minute all my thoughts seem to be about finding a partner and settling down with kids. I guess Im still lonely despite everything ive gained and im probably just grasping at the first person Ive thought may fullfill this desire.
Anyway sorry for the long post I just felt I needed to tell the story if not just to read back to myself to see how ridiculous it is. Anyone had similar experiences?
Recently I have become besotted with somebody at work and I dont know what to do. I guess I need some advice or coping strategy.
Whats worrying me is the strength of my feelings for her and I am concerned my previous issues with SA have something to do with how im feeling. Here is what I think is the cause of my recent situation but you guys might have more of an insight.
Let me start by saying my problems with SA have improved immensely over the last year but for about 4 years before that I was in a bad place. I had few friends and did not have hardly any social interactions. I spent nearly every waking hour at home in my room playing computer games and drinking alone. My relationships consisted of occasional one night stands(of which im not proud of) but it gave me comfort to feel wanted and I could continue living in my life. The thought of seeing these people in a sober situation was too much of an anxious trauma so I never called them back.
Over the last year though I have found more people I can call friends and have now got a social life and gained in confidence, for a while this was enough to make me content (though not happy, havent felt happy in about 7 years.). I thought this would make me happy but I feel discontented again. I cant feel happy because all I want is to be in a relationship with this person and my feelings for them aren't reciprocated unfortunately.
What is strange is the fact I havent known this person that long and we dont see each other all that often but we do text each other several times a day. What is scaring me is my behavior. I find myself getting really depressed if she doesn't text back. If I See her having a laugh with somebody else at work I get jealous. I find myself looking on facebook to see whos shes talking to. I lie at wake nearly every night replaying our conversations and thinking what I can do to make her laugh the next day. When my SA was bad I couldn't even think about a relationship. It was too scary but then I never got on with many women my age due to my shyness and quietness. But with this person it's different we can talk comfortably, I can make her laugh and I want to be around her all the time even though im nervous still at times.
Do you think this is normal or do you think Im obsessed with her because its been so long since I had a relationship and shes the first girl to show me some affection even if its just in the friendly sense. My friend thinks I should give it more time to get to know her but I dont want to face the heartbreak if it goes wrong and Im worried I will turn to the alcohol again to cope.
I thought Id be happy with getting better and getting a social life but none of that matters at the minute all my thoughts seem to be about finding a partner and settling down with kids. I guess Im still lonely despite everything ive gained and im probably just grasping at the first person Ive thought may fullfill this desire.
Anyway sorry for the long post I just felt I needed to tell the story if not just to read back to myself to see how ridiculous it is. Anyone had similar experiences?
Not so very strange. My best advice would be to take it to the next level with her; ask her out and pursue a little more aggressively. That way at least you will know where you stand.