Is there a place in society for you?

froghat

Well-known member
#1
I was looking on Daniel Day Lewis' IMDB.com page and I saw this quote by him:

(on acting) "If I weren't allowed this outlet, there wouldn't be a place for me in society."

That's basically how I feel except I really don't have anything like acting. I mean, my job distracts me sometimes, but even while I'm working I still feel bad most of the time.

I hate being alone, but at the same time I dislike talking to people cause I always feel awkward. It's probably worse than it was 10 years ago when I first started having trouble. I literally can't stand being around people anymore cause I just feel bothered by them and it just reminds me of how f'ed up I feel and act towards others. The only people I feel close to are my parents and sisters.... when I'm outside of my house, I feel so distant and unconnected from people. It's a pretty miserable feeling.

I went to therapy and tried to overcome my problems, but how in the heck are you supposed to change your personality? I've been quiet all my life. I've always been socially awkward, but year after year it feels like it's getting worse and worse. How am I supposed to find a girlfriend when I can't even look people in the yes without feeling crazy? lol It just seems like a hopeless prospect. And things will only get worse when my sisters get married and my parents die. I can't even imagine how shitty I will feel.

Anyone else feel out of place in society? I mean, are you at a point where you just feel bothered by people, yet need someone? What a mess of a life!
 

Lorraine Manca

Well-known member
#2
Oh yeah! me and you both buddy, I feel like there is not a single inch in this world for me, its a claustrophobic feeling, like suffocation. I get this idea that there are all these slots and everyone fits so nicely into the slots, but i came too late and there arent any slots left. i think it has to do with lacking a gut feeling about things. i dont get a gut feeling about much of anything. everyone seems to naturally know what to do next, but im clueless! it sucks! i can relate to alot that you say up there
 
#3
You only feel out of place in society because you're not putting any effort into carving out your place. I can totally relate to you current feelings of being out of place in society. I also went to therapy and took several different meds, but nothing helped at all except benzodiazepines, which I continue to take today. I, too, worry about my future living with my family, and I also feel completely disconnected and/or distant from everyone I know or meet. I feel like things will never get better, and my quality of life is suffering horribly because of these brutal panic attacks that happen several times each day for no reason.

I just wanted to let you know there are plenty of us here that are going through what you are right now. It's tough, but all you can do is keep on truckin. Hang in there bro. Things will get better.


Peace
 

Harleyq

Well-known member
#6
Yeah, I feel that way. I have a few talents but I doubt my abilities as far as landing a job to express those talents. I feel useless much of the time.
 
#7
Hmm, there is no place for me. If I'll ever have a lot of money I'll buy desert island and live there alone till some animal will kill me or I fall of the tree trying to get coconut... But from the bright side maybe one day I'll find a place where I fit and live happily... Maybe I'm not searching enough.
 

Lorraine Manca

Well-known member
#8
Hmm, there is no place for me. If I'll ever have a lot of money I'll buy desert island and live there alone till some animal will kill me or I fall of the tree trying to get coconut... But from the bright side maybe one day I'll find a place where I fit and live happily... Maybe I'm not searching enough.
this made me laugh. justas,you write awesome posts, i hope you get your desert island!
 

Luke1993

Well-known member
#10
I think there are places for all of us, it's just the places we have are uncomfortable lol. But yeah I feel very out of place.
 
#11
If feel just like you OP. I would still like to hope that there is a place for everyone some people just take a longer time to find it.
 

juju

Active member
#12
Thanks for the post originator. You have put into a few short words (about there being no place for me) what i have been feeling for years. You should be a writer or a poet and tell the world about the SA experience!!!!
 

Mercedes

Well-known member
#15
Another one here who feels much the same. I have gotten more bugged by people too and have become somewhat concerned about it because I used to think in time it would get easier but instead it has only gotten harder. Just what I see people doing to animals alone has made me start to let's say strongly dislike them.

I think there's a place for me in society but it's probably a quiet place where I can express myself or my gifts in the ways I"m comfortable with and is mostly non-verbal. Everything else is more or less a waste of time and energy.
 

Josh5339

Well-known member
#16
I can definitely relate to that quote. There's a lot like it from celebrities. I believe Shia said it best, Hollywood is home for the broken. All of the celebrity stories about bad mistakes they've made - probably like the rest, self-medicating and etc. I'm a screenwriter, might have a future with Warner Brothers. My voice is my gift and curse. At least I have an outlet - having an artistic side that you can use or tap into is therapy in a sense sometimes.
 
#17
I feel like I spend all my time trying to figure out who I want to be, how I want to act but I can never find the answer. I wind up wasting my time this way and never do anything interesting and I never feel like I have anything to talk about. Lorraine Manca I know what you mean about the slots. Its like I just arrived too late all the slots are taken
 

limetree

Well-known member
#18
I want to stop thinking in terms of roles and slots because people are multifaceted, and just because there isn't a job to fit every skill it doesn't mean anyone's completely useless. People are always moving in and out of different slots, and there's such a thing as same age, different stage. ie. 35: married with kids, 35: single, changing careers. it's fair enough to give yourself time to explore your options and have hobbies if not taking on the stress of making something your job. I'd never consider anyone's life to be worthless in the sense that it should be based on status checkpoints or conventional notions of success, but yeah it can be hard figuring out a niche that matches your talents and principles, finding something worth investing in and having the confidence to pursue it.
 
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