Is it ok to not care?

[Earthcircle]

A few years ago I went to a therapist and she seemed very concerned that I was so isolated. She made various suggestions such as volunteering that I never tried. (I was seeking therapy for a different problem.)

I'm in my mid 40's. I used to have a couple of friends, but I moved away from them 10 years ago. I talk to people at work, and I visit my mother several times per week. (She is very isolated too.) I talk to my cat too.

I've been a weird loner for so long that I no longer have any hope of changing and I no longer care.

You might be schizoid. It's hard for me not to care, because I never wanted this life.

 

[skylar0201]

A few years ago I went to a therapist and she seemed very concerned that I was so isolated. She made various suggestions such as volunteering that I never tried. (I was seeking therapy for a different problem.)

I'm in my mid 40's. I used to have a couple of friends, but I moved away from them 10 years ago. I talk to people at work, and I visit my mother several times per week. (She is very isolated too.) I talk to my cat too.

I've been a weird loner for so long that I no longer have any hope of changing and I no longer care.

I too, am in my 40's ( 43 ) and have a mother living with me, along with my 13 yr old dog. Other than that, not a whole lot matters in my life. I mean I do have a father and 2 brothers, but not that I'm real close to it seems like, and no matter how much I try, my mother and dog are the only 2 living things that seem to want to be with me too.

 

[MotherWolff]

A few years ago I went to a therapist and she seemed very concerned that I was so isolated. She made various suggestions such as volunteering that I never tried. (I was seeking therapy for a different problem.)

I'm in my mid 40's. I used to have a couple of friends, but I moved away from them 10 years ago. I talk to people at work, and I visit my mother several times per week. (She is very isolated too.) I talk to my cat too.

I've been a weird loner for so long that I no longer have any hope of changing and I no longer care.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being introverted, as long as it doesn't interfere with your daily functioning. But I think you do care because you called yourself a "weird loner" and you made a thread about it. I believe those are signs of a cry for help. There is also nothing wrong with you wanting to get help. Do you want to have friends again and be around people more often or would you rather be alone?

 

[shrinkingviolet]

It depends. If you decide you don't care because it would be too much effort to change and because you think its too late, I think that's unhealthy. It doesn't matter how your life has been for the last 40 years, you can still change it, its never too late. Don't give up on yourself.



.

 

[Earthcircle]

thanks, that is a good suggestion. I quit seeing that therapist a couple of years ago, because it wasn't helping me and the therapist seemed to be very condescending and overbearing in her attempt to convince me that I had problems that I didn't see. In retrospect I think she was correct on some things.

My guess is that she diagnosed you as schizoid and then did what therapists are taught to do with schizoids: convince them that social interaction is really good and pressure them to have more of it. I'm not saying that that's what they should do, but I am saying that they are expected by the profession to do this.

 

[dannyboy65]

It's okay to feel that way if you are okay with it. It's your life no one should tell you how you have to live it. If you prefer a solitary life, don't care what others have to say you can live the way that makes you happy.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I think it's okay but I don't think you should rely on your mom as the only social interaction. You say you visit her several times a week. That's good but I think you should make a couple more friends too so you will never be dependent. If you got fired at your job (hypothetically) would they still talk to you? If not you should ask to hangout with a coworker. P.S cats are awesome and you should watch "Cat from hell" if you haven't... funny show

 

[Argentum]

I think it's only survival past a point.

I don't feel like I can have any dignity when I do care. If I care, I'm always fed conflicting advice. Be yourself, but do this, this, and this to make yourself more likable - because it's your own fault things are this way. Spend such-and-such an amount of time out here that's not being spent elsewhere taking care of your own life. Spend energy deflecting the negative people, and get maybe one good person for every 1-2 dozen users and passerby.

What dignity is there in constantly chasing after people and jumping through hoops trying to become worthy of the species that commits so much crime, fraud, dishonesty, and cruelty?

 

[Earthcircle]

I'm jealous of anyone who doesn't care. It's painful when one does care.

 

[MotherWolff]

A few years ago I went to a therapist anpostie very concerned that I was so isolated. She made various suggestions such as volunteering that I never tried. (I was seeking therapy for a different problem.)

I'm in my mid 40's. I used to have a couple of friends, but I moved away from them 10 years ago. I talk to people at work, and I visit my mother several times per week. (She is very isolated too.) I talk to my cat too.

I've been a weird loner for so long that I no longer have any hope of changing and I no longer care.

Well, obviously you do care. You know how I can tell? Because you are crying out for help by posting your "lonesome" living situation on this forum.

Its okay to admit you want help.

I think you feel lonely and you are trying to repress it.

Well, you must not be going about it in a good way cause you are desperately wanting help. But that's fine.

Its not natural for any human being to be isolated this way.

We are social creatures. I understand when people want to be alone temporarily. Its ok to have time to ourselves every now and then.

But when your by yourself 24/7 and you don't even want to be, then that is not good.

I can tell you don't like that because you called yourself a "weird" loner.