Is it better to be open or guarded?

[jaim38]

This website is a very good source for this topic:
How To Make Conversation – Improve Your Social Skills | Improve Your Social Skills

According to the website, it's better to open up gradually. In my first meeting with a stranger, we should be asking basic questions about our background, school, career, etc. Of course, by the end of the first meeting, I still won't know or understand this person completely. It is through subsequent meetings that we progress from sharing basic things to more personal intimate details of our lives. Conversation is give and take. You have to either share something to inspire the other person to share the same, or share something in response to the other person's anecdote.

 

[Lorn]

Like a hand of cards, play the safe, lower value cards first to feel your way before revealing the others in your hand.

Not that I would know cards or relationships

After having had stalkers, emotional vampires, and all kinds of delightful experiences, I have to agree that caution first is a good principle. You can always adjust to people who seem more or less trustworthy, or those who are willing to be more vulnerable themselves.

 

[megalon]

I would prefer to be open if I have a choice, although anxiety and my lack of self esteem usually conspire to prevent that from happening.
I think most people are good at heart. There's no reason to believe every person you meet is scheming against you. I think there's a fine line between "guarded" and irrational paranoia.

 

[awkwardamanda]

Guarded. Never open up.


Ever

Never ever ever.

No no no never ever.

Don't open up.

Never do it.

I like this response.:thumbup:

Guarded works best for me. I've been open in the past and had whatever information given freely used against me. So better to guard myself than be at the mercy of other's meanness, selfishness or insecurities.

Yeah, this is why. This isn't just about strangers. My ex-boyfriend blabbed a few things about me that were nobody's business to his friends. He had no respect for my privacy and thought nothing of it. I am a very guarded, private person. I keep a lot to myself, even things that aren't really secrets. Honestly, nobody knows me all that well and I'm not exactly close with anyone. That's ok. I like to keep people at a safe distance. My general experience has been that people aren't worth trusting.

 

[MollyBeGood]

It's whatever YOU feel comfortable with that matters. You will find most people here would say "Guarded" I am sure

 

[spurs13]

Yeah, this is why. This isn't just about strangers. My ex-boyfriend blabbed a few things about me that were nobody's business to his friends. He had no respect for my privacy and thought nothing of it. I am a very guarded, private person. I keep a lot to myself, even things that aren't really secrets. Honestly, nobody knows me all that well and I'm not exactly close with anyone. That's ok. I like to keep people at a safe distance. My general experience has been that people aren't worth trusting.

Agreed. I live in a joint family and I don't like them knowing any more than they need to. I used to think it was paranoia but its not, since thats pretty much what everyone does. Its not 'confidence' if you're open around everyone, you just open yourself to more possibilities of getting back stabbed. I guess I can be a little too open when I meet someone friendly, as a direct result of my shyness. Need to work on that. Get my poker face/mouth on.