Is anyone else self conscious when walking down the street?

WishingICould

Well-known member
I've always had this problem but it's gotten worse recently. I feel like there's a spotlight on me when i'm outside alone and i feel really self conscious. I'd like to be able to enjoy the nice weather but i hate it because there's people everywhere now. I also hate it if people i know say "i think i saw you the other day". Just the thought of somebody seeing me makes me cringe. I really must hate myself to feel like this...
 
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GhastlyCC

Well-known member
I'm the same way.

But If I'm listening to my ipod,I'm more focused on the music than anything and I don't even think about it.
 
I hate walking through crowds, head down, look at pavement, no eye contact! I certainly feel very self conscious if the person behind me is walking too close to me or the person behind me is laughing because I think they are laughing at me so what I do is I stop just in the middle of the street wait for them to walk past and then I carry on walking, to the outside world I must look like some weirdo but Its my coping mechinasm and if it makes me feel comfortable then why shouldn't I do it? I also feel very paranoid if I am walking home at night and someone is walking behind me and I feel like they are following me so I tend not to walk home at night I just bus it...once it gets past a certain time theres no way I am walking home, but I live in a city so I should feel safe cause even at 3am in the morning theres always someone around...I don't know but on a day to day basis I don't worry much bout other people on the street
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I hate walking through crowds, head down, look at pavement, no eye contact! I certainly feel very self conscious if the person behind me is walking too close to me or the person behind me is laughing because I think they are laughing at me so what I do is I stop just in the middle of the street wait for them to walk past and then I carry on walking, to the outside world I must look like some weirdo but Its my coping mechinasm and if it makes me feel comfortable then why shouldn't I do it? I also feel very paranoid if I am walking home at night and someone is walking behind me and I feel like they are following me so I tend not to walk home at night I just bus it...once it gets past a certain time theres no way I am walking home, but I live in a city so I should feel safe cause even at 3am in the morning theres always someone around...I don't know but on a day to day basis I don't worry much bout other people on the street

No eye contact for me either!! Head down or I dodge glances.
 
my mum used to say you wont see anything on the ground but chewing gum and dog poo....it made me think, I then walked around with my head held high but im so clumsy I can trip over my own feet so I tend to look down. I also have a problem with spacial awareness...I cannot judge distances and tend to walk almost ontop of whoever is next to me.....it is a right bummer cause when im in a busy shopping centre or somewhere like asda or Tesco I cant judge if im standing too close to people or if they wanting to get past..its a nightmare!
 

jaim38

Well-known member
Yes, many times I feel this way, but for different reasons. I feel self-conscious because the clothes I wear are outdated so if I go out in public, I am scared that people will point me out and comment negatively on my appearance (which has happened in the past). I haven't gone shopping in a long time, but I don't have a job and doing all I can to save money. I also haven't gone to the barber's in a long while.
 

SpaceGhost

Member
I feel the same way Wishing I Could. I hate walking out in public, in reality you are probably just another nameless face in the crowd but I always have that feeling that everyone's eyes are on me. It makes it worst that I talk to myself all the time and try to do it in public, I try to be subtle about it but I think everyone sees me do it and laugh or smile to themselves.
 

Rodrigue

Member
I have that feeling to, and I have the feeling that people are not only looking at me, but also gossiping about me and how I walk. So I decided to walk proudly like a celebrity, considering others like paparazzis... LOL
 

Dariushka

Well-known member
I also have a problem with spacial awareness...I cannot judge distances and tend to walk almost ontop of whoever is next to me.....it is a right bummer cause when im in a busy shopping centre or somewhere like asda or Tesco I cant judge if im standing too close to people or if they wanting to get past..its a nightmare!"

For me this spacial awareness did not exist. Until I realised I had the social phobia. I think actually it did exist but I didn't notice it as an issue. Now it is one.. Partially because I don't fully monitor the surroundings due to limited visual attention. As if your senses freeze to catch a millisecond with the thought analytical subtitles instead of just walking and passing life and people by.. It's really horrible and lasts even longer once you are a foreigner. Cause your mind translates so you need more time for thoughts.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
That was a serious problem for me for many years. Children in high school used to follow me and tease my walk. No I seem to have lost that, and have developed other anxieties involving talking to people.
 

Oizys

Well-known member
I am really uncomfortable having a presence, that I actually exist and can be seen and heard.


Oh Gods, THIS, forever THIS.
I don't know how many times I've thought ''if people couldn't see me, I'd go out all the time'', or ''I wouldn't be agoraphobic if I could go out without anybody seeing me''.
Basically I think I'd like to be a ghost, so people wont see me, or hear me, and rather than walking (I'm unfit :/) I could just... float along, and through walls and stuff. Being a physical presence feels so.... weighed down.
 

DGS

Member
I am really uncomfortable having a presence, that I actually exist and can be seen and heard.

ok. what makes you foolishly believe this?

seriously, let's hear it.


you're fat? - so are millions of others, it's ok.

you're ugly - many are, it's ok

you're afraid people will judge you - these people don't know you, you are a passer by, don't believe the hype, people don't give a **** or care about your "presence" unless you are a supermodel.

you are afraid they might engage you and you won't know what to do? - easiest thing- just think "OH, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?" and it will go easy from there.




everyone is self conscious walking down the street with one other person coming towards them. Everyone is ok when it is 300 people.


there is no fear, this is all normal, and you just need to focus on feeling good, just repeat to yourself "thank god i am alive thank god i am walking thank god there are great people around!"

and smile
 

DGS

Member
I've experimented some more today, and I think I've found the cure.


All you have to do is FEEL the energy of the person walking to you. If it is a person looking down shy, well, don't stare at them.

If it is a cute girl looking at you, LOOK BACK!

so play it based on, and ANALYZE what you are seeing - a group of guys, obviously you won't be looking at unless you want to come off badass, or get your ass beat.

just vibe with what the other person is doing
 
ok. what makes you foolishly believe this?

seriously, let's hear it.


you're fat? - so are millions of others, it's ok.

you're ugly - many are, it's ok

you're afraid people will judge you - these people don't know you, you are a passer by, don't believe the hype, people don't give a **** or care about your "presence" unless you are a supermodel.

you are afraid they might engage you and you won't know what to do? - easiest thing- just think "OH, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?" and it will go easy from there.




everyone is self conscious walking down the street with one other person coming towards them. Everyone is ok when it is 300 people.


there is no fear, this is all normal, and you just need to focus on feeling good, just repeat to yourself "thank god i am alive thank god i am walking thank god there are great people around!"

and smile

Maybe your intentions are good, but you don't seem to realize that most people with social anxiety are AWARE of these things you've said. Phobias are irrational. We're aware that we're being paranoid and silly. That doesn't make the problem go away. It takes hard work to retrain your emotional/cognitive responses. A lot of it is still a mystery, they don't know for sure why people suffer from social phobia.

Fortunately, CBT has helped thousands - maybe millions? - of people to get better with their anxiety and some have even overcome it completely, so there is some hope and it's worth trying. I'm not saying we're screwed forever and shouldn't even try to change. Not at all.
 

paperie

Well-known member
You might feel like all eyes are on you when you're walking outside, but most people aren't really paying that much attention. Everyone is wrapped up in their own world, even if they do look at you, I don't think the average person is overly critical of others (and if they are, they are just a jerk). Just try to enjoy the nice weather, take in your surroundings and if you pass someone on the sidewalk there's nothing weird about giving them a smile or just saying hi.
 
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