BrentMcD23
Member
Hey everyone. I have ocd pretty bad. I'm constantly praying the intrusive thoughts away and usually pray the same prayer 5 or 6 times. All the time. Anyway, I smoke weed (which almost ALWAYS makes it 100 times worse (don't ask me why I smoke, I just like to get high) WITHOUT the craziness that comes with it. Okay so I was watching a homosexual film last night (with very graphic sexual scenes) and it got me aroused. I fast forwarded and stopped at a scene where a drag looking man and other guy were watching a movie. All of the sudden it showed an older man rub up this 10 year old boys leg and then grabbed his crotch, he then goes on to grab the boys hand and make him feel his crotch. The little boy flips out and runs (and nothing more happened) but I just sat there... Mortified. How could I ever unsee what i just saw? It made me so uncomfortable and uneasy. Honestly it scared the hell out of me. The drag dude got excited when it happened. My mind began racing and i kept thinking why did this just happen to me? I just can't understand why anyone would put that in a movie. I feel like what terrifies me is that I'm scared I like it (and the intrusive thoughts) but I know that I don't. But there's still that anxiety and terror that I'm like that. Help?