Internalizing

[Sial Axetder]

Wasn't quite sure where to throw this thread. ...

I rarely, but do try, to speak my mind. But I have fear I will cause more harm than good. My automatic response is to not release thoughts and/or emotions. I let them stew and let myself deal with it all. I don't want to cause troubles with my sometimes-social-blunder **** ups.

Allowing myself to deal with my reactions, emotions and thoughts affords me the ability to not only prevent others having to deal with it but also keeps others out of harms way (if I am feeling particularly down or frustrated).

How does one stop internalizing emotions and thoughts? It's not as easy as just don't do it that way. Why do I want to change something that has worked for years? Because I wish to be more approachable, more personable, more open to those I care about.:thumbup:

 

[gummybear22]

well tellin online folks what you're feelin is a great start. and tellin real life people at least sOme of your stuff helps, but mainly when you don't dwell on freakin out that you're tellin them stuff.
all the above stated stuff applies to me, so maybe it'd help you too
i still don't say stuff to real life people, only did mainly cuz of it havin to do with missing class, but that'd better than nothing. and i have a few close online friends (from here actually) that i can say more stuff to. still don't have anyone i can say ANYTHING to, but i expect that to continue throughout my life. i wouldn't wanna tell someone absolutely everything. that's tOO much exposure of myself.

 

[Hellhound]

Bottling things up is never a good idea. You will be peaceful for a while, but things will get out of hand when you feel overwhelmed, and there's the risk you might blow up on someone, which is a lot worse than just talking to them when you're feeling down.

So far, you've been open with me just fine and I appreciate it

 

[A86]

That's a good that you recognise how you wish to be and what needs changing in order to achieve your goals.

I have also been struggling to be more outward over the past couple of years. I was (still am to some degree) fearful of driving my thoughts so inward and becoming so internal thinking that the outside interaction would have little or no impact.

Unfortunately, there is no quick fix for a lifetime of strengthening the way we think. Change is possible though, with continuous little steps towards the bigger goal, and it seems to me you have made the first step.

Something that I did was when someone asked hows it going or how am I, I would make an effort to share something short that happened recently, whether it be something I found funny or interesting, rather than just default to the im ok and keep everything to myself.
For example, there was a fire at work the other day, and I found its cause amusing, so when asked that day hows it going, i replied, "not bad. we had an exploding fire at work today, the chemist decided he would losing up the bearings in the 2000 degree oven by spaying the inside with WD40... while it was on" - from there a bit more banter followed.

And while it still seems somewhat unnatural & awkward, I have to admit, expressing/sharing what goes on in your head has its own good feeling and its something I wish to continue to improve upon.

 

[gummybear22]

well i say stuff to folks on here but not a whole lot
i've always held stuff in. i can get through some stuff but some pokes me every now and then. i've got several triggers for my depression-recurrent brief depression.

 

[jaim38]

When I was little, I had a big mouth and I would inadvertently offend people with my words. And my teachers would tell me and other kids to be quiet while openly praising and rewarding the quiet kids. So over the years I learned to just shut my mouth and not say anything.

I'm not saying being talkative is a bad thing. Some people have the gift of speech; they know what to say at the right time and right place, and people are naturally drawn to them. No matter how much they talk, people like them. On the other hand, I have to be careful what comes out of my mouth because sometimes I end up offending people without meaning to. I don't know if this is because my choice of words is bad or people are just extra sensitive. Either way, I figured it's better for me to stay quiet.