Intense Fear of Abandonment/Loss

[sullyS25]

Im currently experiencing this fear. It can be paralyzing at times. I constantly have to keep myself busy or the gears in my head start turning and I end up having very bad anxiety. The stomach tightens, the heart starts pounding and I cant sit still for the life of me.....

Has anyone experienced this? If so what did you do to help make it.....less intense??

 

[WishingICould]

Im currently experiencing this fear. It can be paralyzing at times. I constantly have to keep myself busy or the gears in my head start turning and I end up having very bad anxiety. The stomach tightens, the heart starts pounding and I cant sit still for the life of me.....

Has anyone experienced this? If so what did you do to help make it.....less intense??

I've been feeling like that recently. I'm not sure why i've suddenly started feeling more lonely and anxious. When i'm feeling really bad i either sleep or do something to take my mind off it e.g. watch a movie, play video games, listen to music.

 

[sullyS25]

Probably something to do with my father emotionally abandoning me when I was like 7 or 8. Maybe something to do with a high school relationship gone very bad and being "abandon" by her.

 

[Lamb]

Probably something to do with my father emotionally abandoning me when I was like 7 or 8. Maybe something to do with a high school relationship gone very bad and being "abandon" by her.

I see. I deal with similar feelings in a relationship. The two things that have helped me the most are discussing these feelings with the other person, and writing down my emotions at the moment. Helped to deliver some more insight and clarity. It may also get to a point where you worry yourself sick and eventually the emotions subside a bit.

 

[sullyS25]

I see. I deal with similar feelings in a relationship. The two things that have helped me the most are discussing these feelings with the other person, and writing down my emotions at the moment. Helped to deliver some more insight and clarity. It may also get to a point where you worry yourself sick and eventually the emotions subside a bit.

Thats what I've started doing too. Less writing lately though. I just have this fear that my girlfriend will get sick of hearing about the same insecurities all the time. She assures me she doesnt though and that she will always be there to support me. I hope it gets to the point where i worry myself sick and it subsides.....I also dont think it helps that its currently a long distance relationship and Im 9 hours ahead of her until june when i move back to the states.....meh...i think it will make the relationship stronger in the end

 

[Section_31]

i have this problem. fear of losing everyone i care about and being alone in life scares me more than dying. I dont know why, i cant explain it, ive just always felt this way even when i was little, as long as i can remember.

I dont really have a solution, i keep myself busy with work, try to force myself to focus on other things. Control what i can control and hope for the best.

This is partly why ive stayed in my marriage which is currently experiencing some very hard issues, and may not exist in a year or so from now. Ive been hugely scared to leave because of fear of being alone.

Trying to force myself to have more faith in ME.

 

[sullyS25]

i have this problem. fear of losing everyone i care about and being alone in life scares me more than dying. I dont know why, i cant explain it, ive just always felt this way even when i was little, as long as i can remember.

I feel the same exact way. I just moved to Spain until June and the first night here I was trembling, crying and felt like I was going to die.

I guess we dont need to explain why though, in my experience, knowing the cause of my issues doesnt help alleviate them.....I agree that keeping busy does help a lot. I was searching various things on google and found that this is very common in people with borderline personality disorder as well and a lot of the symptoms of that disorder coincide with what ive been going through for a while

 

[Lamb]

Thats what I've started doing too. Less writing lately though. I just have this fear that my girlfriend will get sick of hearing about the same insecurities all the time. She assures me she doesnt though and that she will always be there to support me. I hope it gets to the point where i worry myself sick and it subsides.....I also dont think it helps that its currently a long distance relationship and Im 9 hours ahead of her until june when i move back to the states.....meh...i think it will make the relationship stronger in the end

It's always a risk. Does she come to you when she's dealing with issues? Sometimes I feel like there isn't an equal exchange. I go to the person with problems I'm dealing with more than they come to me. It makes me feel like they're better off emotionally and I'm not needed or coming off as needy, when that isn't always the case. I like playing the supportive role and I'm sure she does too.

There was a thread made here that I think is very encouraging. The piece about what males want, and females want.

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/last-stand-50436/

 

[Lea]

If you lose her,you get nothing more to lose,therefore you'll need not to worry anymore.

 

[sullyS25]

It's always a risk. Does she come to you when she's dealing with issues? Sometimes I feel like there isn't an equal exchange. I go to the person with problems I'm dealing with more than they come to me. It makes me feel like they're better off emotionally and I'm not needed or coming off as needy, when that isn't always the case. I like playing the supportive role and I'm sure she does too.

There was a thread made here that I think is very encouraging. The piece about what males want, and females want.

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/last-stand-50436/

She does talk to me about issues. They aren't insecurities like mine but it usually has to do with how she is coming off to other people at work or to her friends and such. She also has told me that she is more open with me than she has been with any other boyfriend, so I guess thats good.

I will check out that thread and you made me realize that she probably really does like playing that supportive role. She definitely loves to be there to help me so that is probably the case with this situation. Thank you for helping me to see that!

 

[Hellhound]

I get that fear at times when it comes to my relationship. I ask for reassurance when it strikes.