I don't think I'll ever learn to come peace with the fact that I'm a social outcast. I've been this way since teenage hood and still am at 30 years old. People just don't gravitate towards me. I'm just not good looking nor am I intelligent or a social butterfly. I don't have anything to offer besides having a good heart. But having a good heart is not enough. This has been giving me depression since I ever realised I was an outcast, that I am subject to rejection. This is making me cry right now but I remember being as young as 13 years old and knowing this. Just remembering this poor kid, so naive at that age, abandoned and lonely. I spent most of my teenage years alone. I have no social skills. I don't even know how to have a normal conversation with someone. I get jealous when I see people make friends with one another so naturally. I really wish I was never born, what I experienced in life I wish nobody else experiences it. The feeling of abandonment, undesired and unwanted. Nobody finding interest in being with me. I don't know how to accept it. I'm used to it, but I never accepted it.