I'm so tired of life

[jryden]

I'm trying so hard to make something of myself, but I'm failing just like I do at everything.

I don't drive often because I get too anxious on the road. I had a panic attack yesterday driving through a neighborhood. I was holding back tears (not for any particular reason) and driving too slow. An 18 wheeler honked at me and idk what happened after that. Idk how to describe this but its like I was mentally gone for about 5 secs. I couldn't move...literally could not press the gas to move the car. The 18 wheeler went around me still honking.
Anyway, I then moved and almost hit a car behind me because I didn't see it try to go around me.

I almost wish the car had hit me, enough to kill or put me away for some time.

I really can't catch a break. Its so frustrating. I really don't need a perfect life, I need a break. I need a door to be opened but God/the universe/whatever the **** is in control is not on my side.

 

[truffleshuffle]

I'm trying so hard to make something of myself, but I'm failing just like I do at everything.

I don't drive often because I get too anxious on the road. I had a panic attack yesterday driving through a neighborhood. I was holding back tears (not for any particular reason) and driving too slow. An 18 wheeler honked at me and idk what happened after that. Idk how to describe this but its like I was mentally gone for about 5 secs. I couldn't move...literally could not press the gas to move the car. The 18 wheeler went around me still honking.
Anyway, I then moved and almost hit a car behind me because I didn't see it try to go around me.

I almost wish the car had hit me, enough to kill or put me away for some time.

I really can't catch a break. Its so frustrating. I really don't need a perfect life, I need a break. I need a door to be opened but God/the universe/whatever the **** is in control is not on my side.

Driving can be stressfull although its more of a stress release for me sometimes. I think you need something to relax you. Some people meditate and others just tune out life for a few minutes or hours and just relax. I have been there and it just takes time.

 

[jaim38]

I had a similar experience too. When I was a teen driver, I didn't know better. One day, I was on a narrow 2-way street and I was going north. While I was driving, I saw a school bus stop ahead of me, but I didn't know better so I kept on driving. All of a sudden, the school bus honked at me and at first, I was confused. When I looked back, I realized the other cars behind me had stopped while I kept on going. I should have stopped but didn't!

That was an embarrassing experience. Looking back on it, I could have hit a child crossing the street! It certainly made me fear driving more. Don't worry, you're not the only slow driver; I am too, and so are the grannies and grandpas on the road.

 

[KingHenry]

Here's something Im tired of...

People (in real life and on this site) keep saying bullcrap like, to get over your fears of talking to people and social awkwardness, you have to keep exposing yourself to those situations where you are forced to talk to people, etc. I don't know why people keep insisting that that advice is actually helpful because it is complete CRAP. I am forced to go through these situations everyday at my job with people who actually want to talk to me and be friends and I want to do the whole "small talk" thing too. The problem is that I'm not capable of keeping a conversation going. I know what Im supposed to talk about, but Im just not capable of thinking of actual words to say or thinking fast enough without there being a awkward pause in the convo, therefore I end up looking like a dumb @#$%. And the more this happens, the more I look like a dumb @#$%, the more people think less of me. I wish I had that ability, but until I do, that advise is worthless.

I mean, it took me like 30min just to come up with the words for this post and to organize my thoughts.

So I can tell you from experience that those who say the whole "exposure thing" works either dont have social anxiety and don't have any real advice or dont like to talk to people, but still have the ability to.

I didnt mean to steal this thread, but this has really been killing me and I really want some advice, but nobodys been able to help. This concludes my road rage.

 

[hardy]

I'm trying so hard to make something of myself, but I'm failing just like I do at everything.



I really can't catch a break. Its so frustrating. I really don't need a perfect life, I need a break. I need a door to be opened but God/the universe/whatever the **** is in control is not on my side.

Here is the break... The Art of Living: Vipassana Meditation

Please read it. We will get no where if all our efforts are in the wrong direction. Here is a way that cures everyone from all the sufferings. I can assure you it's the break we all need in life.

 

[Fighter86]

I don't drive (driving lessons and cars are so expensive here) but I understand your pain and frustration. I feel this way sometimes too, not much choice just to let the bad feelings pass hopefully your future becomes brighter.

 

[getthejoj]

I'm in the same situation as you, sort of. I started driving 2 and a half years ago, and haven't quite gotten the hang of it. I can drive to work and back the gas station, and a couple of other places, but places like the highway are a big no no for me. (Which is one of the things that's holding me back in life.) I know how to drive okay, I guess I just have a phobia of getting lost or screwing up and looking like an idiot. Also I don't like crowds. Probably doesn't help.

 

[OCDd]

i dont blame you, i thought i was the only one. people who say oh just live life are not really understanding what people go through. i wish we all could get a break but we will eventually, just hang in there. maybe find something that you enjoy, or some activity whatever it may be, going for a walk, day dreaming, fantasizing, making your favorite food, or even just something that puts a smile on your face. this works as a sort of 'brake' from life that you are looking for. find whatever you enjoy and just make that your reward for doing the stuff that makes life hard. i find that when i put something like that in my mind and say ok, im not going to do that thing until i finish my work, it kind of eases that things in life that seem difficult at times. sort of numbs all the things that i dont want to do. and God is on your side, you just need to ask him. try praying to and ask for forgiveness for your sins, that helps me, it gives me a feeling like a weight being lifted off my chest. Hope this helps! Good luck!

 

[laure15]

maybe find something that you enjoy, or some activity whatever it may be, going for a walk, day dreaming, fantasizing, making your favorite food, or even just something that puts a smile on your face. this works as a sort of 'brake' from life that you are looking for. find whatever you enjoy and just make that your reward for doing the stuff that makes life hard. i find that when i put something like that in my mind and say ok, im not going to do that thing until i finish my work, it kind of eases that things in life that seem difficult at times. sort of numbs all the things that i dont want to do.

I do this too and it works for me.

 

[OCDd]

I do this too and it works for me.

im happy to hear that