Phantasystar4
Member
Lately I've been feeling really down and depressed. It just feels like i could cry anytime I want. And i've never been someone to break in tears easily. I'm just always alone, I have no friends, my family is not there for me ( and they dont understand my SA at all), I never had a girlfriend and i'm 30 years old. I cant even talk without feeling like a complete idiot. I can menage sometimes not to think about my loner life too much. But for a good while now its been getting heavier and heavier on me. I'm having dark thoughts more and more often.
I had a promotion a few months ago and I'm now a superviser at my job. My boss and the director wanted to help me out because they thought that I would maybe break out of my shell. That it be good for me and that it would make me talk a bit more and help my self confidence. The thing is i'm almost a mute. I pratically dont talk. When someone ask me something and talk to me I just barely manage to get 2 or 3 words out of my mouth. My mind just goes blank as soon as i'm with someone i'm not confortable with which is pretty much everyone.
I can see that i'm really not cut out for this. I'm suposed to be a superviser and support the team and be in charge. And yet my assistant is pretty much doing any social part of my job for me. I just feel fake since she is much better then me for the position. She's the real superviser. Everyday I just want to go to my boss and tell him to give the position to her instead. She deserves it. I'm a good worker and work really hard. But it doesnt mean that I should be leading the team. And this is not even helping me that much. I did get some improved self confidence but at the same time It just adds so much pressure and stress that I really cant handle right now.
I just dont know what to do...
I had a promotion a few months ago and I'm now a superviser at my job. My boss and the director wanted to help me out because they thought that I would maybe break out of my shell. That it be good for me and that it would make me talk a bit more and help my self confidence. The thing is i'm almost a mute. I pratically dont talk. When someone ask me something and talk to me I just barely manage to get 2 or 3 words out of my mouth. My mind just goes blank as soon as i'm with someone i'm not confortable with which is pretty much everyone.
I can see that i'm really not cut out for this. I'm suposed to be a superviser and support the team and be in charge. And yet my assistant is pretty much doing any social part of my job for me. I just feel fake since she is much better then me for the position. She's the real superviser. Everyday I just want to go to my boss and tell him to give the position to her instead. She deserves it. I'm a good worker and work really hard. But it doesnt mean that I should be leading the team. And this is not even helping me that much. I did get some improved self confidence but at the same time It just adds so much pressure and stress that I really cant handle right now.
I just dont know what to do...