i'm really depressed

[Phantasystar4]

Lately I've been feeling really down and depressed. It just feels like i could cry anytime I want. And i've never been someone to break in tears easily. I'm just always alone, I have no friends, my family is not there for me ( and they dont understand my SA at all), I never had a girlfriend and i'm 30 years old. I cant even talk without feeling like a complete idiot. I can menage sometimes not to think about my loner life too much. But for a good while now its been getting heavier and heavier on me. I'm having dark thoughts more and more often.

I had a promotion a few months ago and I'm now a superviser at my job. My boss and the director wanted to help me out because they thought that I would maybe break out of my shell. That it be good for me and that it would make me talk a bit more and help my self confidence. The thing is i'm almost a mute. I pratically dont talk. When someone ask me something and talk to me I just barely manage to get 2 or 3 words out of my mouth. My mind just goes blank as soon as i'm with someone i'm not confortable with which is pretty much everyone.

I can see that i'm really not cut out for this. I'm suposed to be a superviser and support the team and be in charge. And yet my assistant is pretty much doing any social part of my job for me. I just feel fake since she is much better then me for the position. She's the real superviser. Everyday I just want to go to my boss and tell him to give the position to her instead. She deserves it. I'm a good worker and work really hard. But it doesnt mean that I should be leading the team. And this is not even helping me that much. I did get some improved self confidence but at the same time It just adds so much pressure and stress that I really cant handle right now.

I just dont know what to do...

 

[SourceCode]

I can understand your condition. I feel pretty much same as you. last year, I was promoted too. I know, how it feels when you have depression. I am pretty much same as you. I took meds for 7-8 months that did not helped me much.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Hi! I think some type of therapy in a controlled environment would help improve your social anxiety. Your coworkers meant well but you need more of a "foundation".

If possible, try to meet others who have social anxiety. There may even be a few people on this forum in your area. Hang in there!

 

[why:(me]

I think you are being very hard on yourself, your boss can obviously see u have a lot of potential otherwise you would not have been promoted.

 

[Steelsoul]

Good for you to be promoted. Just do your best not to let your boss down. You've worked hard so this is what you deserve. Use this opportunity to build up your confidence. Whenever you're stress or depressed, come here to rant

 

[MotherWolff]

Well, look at it this way, Phantasy, if there was a cure for your depression, muteness, and social anxiety there would be no need for you to come here to planet Social Phobia and talk about your problems amongst others who share very similar problems and even make good friends here.

 

[DanBabineau]

Hey, Phantasystar4, I'm right there with you pal. You pretty much just spelled my life out in your own post, you're just two years older. If you ever need anyone to talk to who experiences the same troubles, I'm here for ya.

 

[selon]

Salut Phantasie! I don't think they would promote you just to try and help you.. they must see some potential that you don't (or cannot rather) see! At the same I understand very well that you feel overwhelmed and don't know how to cope What does your assistant say about the situation?

 

[Phantasystar4]

Thanks everyone. I actually feel a bit better today

Salut Phantasie! I don't think they would promote you just to try and help you.. they must see some potential that you don't (or cannot rather) see! At the same I understand very well that you feel overwhelmed and don't know how to cope What does your assistant say about the situation?

My assistant seems kind of angry at me. She knows she would be better for the job. Not only is she just as good as me for the main work but also she's very social and can actually lead. She doesnt have the best attitude though. She really has a huge ego and sometime makes fun of the other employes. But still I feel bad about it. She should have the position instead of me.

 

[Froggy246]

I agree with the other posts, they would not have promoted you just for a confidence boost, employers don't do that, they would maybe give you an award instead. It's because you are obviously good at your job and they see the potential. it sounds like you're very humble as well which is a really good quality for leadership, the best job I ever had was working under a boss who was quiet and introverted, she was very subtle in her leadership, and also thoughtful and considerate which made me feel very comfortable. I don't want your assistant to have the job instead of you if she sometimes makes fun of other employees.
You could always do an online team leadership or first line management course to get some confidence. Also I do a lot of communication with my supervisor via email and that works just fine for me.

 

[Dennis1980]

Sorry for you going through this.
I think you got promoted over your assistant because she of her attitude and ego.
Like you, I was (mostly) quiet, but I got promoted to Team Leader - and I came out of my shell - for the most part. My boss even told me later that she was a little afraid that I wouldn't talk to anybody, but I did.