I'm intimidated by Young People, and their Looks!

[Richey]

Its more the young persons look ...

I'm also in my early 20's but can't get over how stylized people are when im out at the shops or at the cinema that people are now walking around looking like the models in magazines and on tv, hair that sits perfectly and is coloured ..

this wasnt the case 10+ or so years back, i can remember people dressed up to look their best but not like how it is now ...it wasnt as intimidating to me anyway, i dont expect everyone to agree with me .as you may be reading this and feel secure with how you look

girls walking around in skintight pants are in fasion ..there is nothing wrong with it, i just find people who dress up sexy initially intimidating ...so i wouldnt approach them first to talk ..where as i'd be more likely to walk up to them wearing daggy clothes and average hair style, i know this seems very prejudice and not normal but its how i react

i walk passed a group of people today, they were all friends all had the surfy blonde hair look, great bodies ... like they were a walking cardboard photoshop cut out, all edited to look amazing ..they seemed very close too, play fighting, jumping on each otherm really playful and it made me feel ill that i have never had that sort of liberating experiance with people, walking around in public care free, nothing to worry about ..

perhaps its the insecurities in my looks that makes me want to go hide in a corner, im not ugly but i wouldnt consider myself to have the looks of a magazine model ..

perhaps i just havent been exposed to people who spend so much time on their looks ...so i delude myself into thinking i cant look as great as that ..

my ideal look would be the punk rock look, but classy and sensible, i wear converse skater shoes but i dont feel comfortable wearing the really tight jeans, it doesnt suit me that well, so i wear comfortable fitting black jeans .and a t-shirt, with some decent artwork on it ..and a watch ..

i dont colour my hair because i dont like standing out in the crowd ..drawing attention to myself, but i'd like too

 

[ripewithdecay]

Where do you live that has girls everywhere looking like sexy models?
Because wherever that is - I want to be there, right now.

 

[Leki]

I also feel really indimitated by people who wear stylish clothes and look perfectly made up without a hair out of place. I can't help comparing myself to them and of course i always come up short.

If i'm at home or some other unthreatening place i can look in the miror and think that i actually look ok, nothing great but maybe not ugly. As soon as i go out though i just feel so ugly compared to most other women alot of who wouldn't look out of place in a fashion magazine.

I'm at uni and i feel pressure to dress well because it seems like everyone else just looks great. I don't understand how they can afford to wear different outfits everyday most of which are designer and look really expensive.

I know its really superficial to be so hung up on what clothes people wear, yet i feel that i am judged by what i wear. I don't blame people for this though because when you don't open your mouth what else is there to judge you on?

I think much of this is about confidence, i just wish i had the confidence to wear what i wanted without feeling like i'm being judged.

 

[miss_amy]

Being here has made me think looks are a HUGE part of this condition. I thought it wa just me.

Not convinced how you dress changes anything. I would consider myself fairly stylish, have modern hair and clothes and have worked as a model and stylist for fashion shoots. I'm still as frightened and self conscious as you describe and feel like I'm stared at and judged. Pics of myself I see all the negs. I cannot get a clear idea in my head what I actually look like, everytime I look in the mirror I see different things, somedays fat, somedays OK, sometimes not sure. You know when you get mirrors in shopping centres etc and I catch a glimpse of myself, theres times when I haven't realised its me. I actually said sorry to myself when I bumped in to a mirror once, not recognising my own reflection! How sad is that.

I think I'm the opposite to you in that I feel intimidated by people who are not stylish,feel they think I'm some sort of narrow minded tart or I soend too much on myself or something. You can't win with this.

 

[recluse]

There's always going to be someone better looking than yourself...But also there are people who are are less better looking than yourself. Just imagine how a burns victim who has been badly disfigured feels when they see a good looking person.

 

[RedRibbons]

Yea. I used to have that feeling a lot, but I am starting to stop feeling that way. I look at people coolly dressed and feel a little boring, and I do have this magical idea of how I want to look.

The thing is, is that I really don't want to put that much effort into looking like one of these people, let alone, spend the money to get there. I get kicked by my conscience that, it's superficial and frivolous, every time.

My sister is really stylish. I look kinda... idk.. Not as exciting! I don't wear a lot of colour or funky shirts..

 

[Kien]

I have found myself ugly all my life. I feel like people prefer if they don't have to see me. I avoid mirros and reflective windows.

 

[Argamemnon]

I also think I'm ugly, especially when I feel depressed and look in the mirror I feel very sad and anxious. But I have heard people say positive things about my looks, I don't know. When I feel good I think I look ok. I guess I'm average. One thing is for sure; my self-esteem is extremely low.

Kien - I have seen your picture and I don't think you're ugly at all. But I'm aware that my opinion is meaningless. Your perception is what matters.

 

[Kien]

Kien - I have seen your picture and I don't think you're ugly at all. But I'm aware that my opinion is meaningless. Your perception is what matters.

I can admit that I found myself almost decent since I got long hair like in the photos but before that, I don't want to look at myself in the mirror really. Got pretty pleased with the haircut though.

 

[moodygoo]

I could've written this myself 8O
I'm 19. But I think being young as well makes me more intimidated by young people.. like if I was older I wouldn't register on their radar and they wouldn't wonder why does she dress like that? Doesn't she want to be attractive?

I think I'm the opposite to you in that I feel intimidated by people who are not stylish,feel they think I'm some sort of narrow minded tart or I soend too much on myself or something. You can't win with this.

Theres the other side of the story of course. I'm guilty of wondering if girls are just absorbed in little else than they're appearance and what people think of them. just constantly consumed in paranoia and get caught up worrying about aspects of their appearance scruffier people wouldn't even think about. And they've got all these other immaculate girls around to keep up with. Once you start putting all the effort in you can't just go back to being plain. So in some ways I don't envy it.

Anywho, I just don't like the look.. its plastic and cold and uncreative. But I'm sure they wouldn't like the emo/rockerish look I also go for.. kinda. I also don't want to stand out and im not a looker. Jeans + t shirt ftw!

 

[**removed**]

Yeah it seems a lot of people dress really well these days, I guess because more kids work these days because stuff is expensive. I like to try and look, but in my area there's a lot of people on lower income and stuff so i'm indifferent to it a lot of times.

 

[lilcharlie]

Being here has made me think looks are a HUGE part of this condition. I thought it wa just me.

i feel exactly the same way. i think there are different groups of people in this forum. there is the one group where their looks play a role. a commonality seems to be that some people on here are self conscious about themselves, how they come across to other people in their talk/ mannerisms, etc. it's easier said than done but i think if we "let go" of ourselves, our ego, our fear, we can relate to the other person on a more natural level, and be interested in them and what we can share with each other. i know it's hard, sometimes when i'm on guard, nervous, fearful, i am just like a stone cold brick (when i feel uncomfortable around that person.) and other times, when i have no ego, the conversation just flows like water.

Not convinced how you dress changes anything. I would consider myself fairly stylish, have modern hair and clothes and have worked as a model and stylist for fashion shoots. I'm still as frightened and self conscious as you describe and feel like I'm stared at and judged. Pics of myself I see all the negs. I cannot get a clear idea in my head what I actually look like, everytime I look in the mirror I see different things, somedays fat, somedays OK, sometimes not sure. You know when you get mirrors in shopping centres etc and I catch a glimpse of myself, theres times when I haven't realised its me. I actually said sorry to myself when I bumped in to a mirror once, not recognising my own reflection! How sad is that.

society usually thinks "you type of people" are super confident. interesting that some of these people are not confident, and are self conscious. and like another person said, a lot of these pictures on this forum are of attractive people. do only attractive people submit their pictures? but i guess the attention can wear down, even make attractive people self concsious. i wonder how actors/ models in the media deal with this day in and day out. i think you just get to a point, where you accept it for what it is, feel thankful, blessed, and use yourself your looks to help yourself/others/ a cause, if you feel like it, that is. and just be polite, humble, interested in others. i know i've said this before. but this is the only conclusion i can come up for good looking self conscious people haha. i try not to stare at some people even if i want to, and i wonder now if i should even compliment people, since it can make some people uneasy. as a reply, i suppose a simple thanks, or maybe a compliment back (not a fake one though) is fine.

I think I'm the opposite to you in that I feel intimidated by people who are not stylish,feel they think I'm some sort of narrow minded tart or I soend too much on myself or something. You can't win with this.

no kidding! i've had people think i spend an enormous amount of time perfecting myself in front on the mirror, and people asking me why i'm dressed like that. i have no clue why this attention is towards me because there are other women/girls around us that are dressed 10xs better/ dressier than i am, and they dress like this day in and day out. there have been many times, i have spent 10 minutes on my hair/ makeup, and people act like i went to a hair/makeup session that day. granted there have been times i spent a lot of time doing myself up in mirrors, i can't help it, i sometimes am "girly" because well, you guessed it, i'm a girl. there are ways i would love to dress, but the attention that follows that is uncomfortable. i'd like to dye my hair, wear heels (sometimes), etc. but a lot of times i just wear ratty tennis shoes and sweatpants. and when i dress like the dumps, people STILL got something to say! sometimes i just want to scream, leave me the hell alone. but i've kind of come to the conclusion, i'll do whatever i want with my looks and people can run their mouths all they want. lol thank god there's more to this world than just looks that we can focus on..

 

[alex29]

i can completely understand what your saying! i dress in really simple clothes and i cannot even fathom how people manage to dress so fashionably every day. i wouldnt even know where to start nor can i afford all the expensive clothes

even 13/14 year olds look much older because of the way the dress and all the makeup. i dont do any of that.

but i dont know if i would want to be like that either. its just intimidating like you said

 

[nhen]

I don't put a lot of effort into my appearance. I guess my fear is that as soon as I do, that's me putting myself in the game...a game I don't believe I can win. I think that's part of the fear for an SP. That unless you have the perfect body and the most fashionable and expensive clothes, there's the possibility that others will judge you negatively. I also think there's an element of competition there between young people, and I think competition is something SPs tend to fear and avoid.

So it isn't that I don't care about my appearance; it's that I fear that if I give the impression that I do care, people will negatively judge my abilitities/success. In other words, if I'm destined to fail, I'd rather make it look like I don't care than make it look like I do--there seems, probably erroneously, to be more dignity in that. So if you're an SP, you probably can't win merely by dressing well or refusing to dress well. A shift in values needs to take place. In other words, you need to convince yourself that the clothes don't make the person and anyone who thinks otherwise probably isn't worth your time and effort.

 

[Broken_Memory]

I feel intimidated by most people, often because I always feel like I am not as smart or as interesting or as good looking as them. I don't wear make-up and I dress averagely (whatever is comfortable) and sometimes this makes me feel ... like people won't want to look at me. I feel like I am a good looking person, but sometimes being around other people in a public place makes me feel like I am not as pretty as other girls around me. *edit* I have wondered about body dysmorphic disorder and I definitely suffer from that, with my social phobia.

 

[IDKwhatIwant]

I have low self-esteem so everyone looks better then me. :? sometimes not everyone... but most of the people do. I normally just wear average clothes from average stores. As long as they match, and I dont look weird like Im putting to much effort, or not enough effort, then Im ok to be me.

 

[randomguy19]

you and me both! i've always been that way