I was thinking...

[_Brittany_]

that maybe we have s.a because people are always pointing out how shy we are and stuff like that, you know? like when people ask us stupid questions like "why are you so quiet?" or "why don't you talk?" that just makes us feel like there's something wrong with us when really there's not, not everyone is a social butterfly! If people would just realize and except that maybe we wouldn't be this way..you get me?

:?:

 

[Psychedelicious]

I actually don't really mind that much when people say that about me, because people aren't usually mean about it to me. I kind of like the attenion actually. I know this isn't really the reason I have social phobia, but it could be for some people.

 

[dottie]

no, i have always been shy/afraid first then people call me on it. it puts me on the spot and triggers more anxiety during that moment but it isn't the deep rooted cause of my anxiety problems.

the cause of it is probably a combination of my brain chemistry and the way my parents conditioned me to behave and [not] believe in myself. the brain chemsitry made me suseptable to being a shy, sensitive person. the conditioning by my parents was the nail in the coffin that assured me that i was unworthy to be around other people, that i was bad, that others were more important than me, and i needed to pine for their acceptance. mostly it was mother's caniving, manipulative, mentally abusive ways. why she would enjoy tormenting and humiliating her own child, who was already painfully shy, to make herself feel better- i will never know. that is why i am barely-functioning and socially inept at 28.

ps: sorry. i need therapy. in a bad way.

 

[autumn_82]

no, i have always been shy/afraid first then people call me on it. it puts me on the spot and triggers more anxiety during that moment but it isn't the deep rooted cause of my anxiety problems.

the cause of it is probably a combination of my brain chemistry and the way my parents conditioned me to behave and [not] believe in myself. the brain chemsitry made me suseptable to being a shy, sensitive person. the conditioning by my parents was the nail in the coffin that assured me that i was unworthy to be around other people, that i was bad, that others were more important than me, and i needed to pine for their acceptance. mostly it was mother's caniving, manipulative, mentally abusive ways. why she would enjoy tormenting and humiliating her own child, who was already painfully shy, to make herself feel better- i will never know. that is why i am barely-functioning and socially inept at 28.

ps: sorry. i need therapy. in a bad way.

I'm sorry you had such an awful family situation! Things like that can really damage people. I feel similarly about my anxiety being exacerbated by people pointing out my shyness (and not in a mean way either), yet my SA having been a combination of "nature and nurture." I've always been the shy sensitive kid. Things that didn't seem to affect others always went straight to my heart. For that reason my life (which seemed easy enough to the outside observer) was at times really hard and scary. I've had wonderful parents, but I have an aunty and older cousin who were bullies to me throughout my life. I've wondered if some of the ways she behaved towards me and others in her life would qualify as mental abuse. She would be nice one minute, and unreasonably nasty the next, behaving in a way that was way out of bounds for treating a child. She would talk badly about my mother every chance she got, with her friends, my uncle and grandma, right in front of me, and tried to make me agree. She'd treat me like she resented me being there and wanted me to get lost. It was really traumatic, and I'd keep track of her schedule so as to avoid her (and her nasty mouth). My temperament had a large role to play in my getting so scarred by that and other childhood situations. My brother was around the same people as me, same community, but he turned out fine. So now I have to work on just becoming normal again which is happening very slowly.

 

[recluse]

I have always been shy even before comments that i am quiet started. I noticed form an early age that i was not outgoing like my peers at school and i had no assertion. I just have always been shy.

 

[toothpastekisses]

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