I want to understand

combat

combat

Well-known member
Understood said:
What can I say? I'm stubborn as hell and when I want something I'll move heaven and earth to get it. And when it comes to this guy...I wish I could be more specific, but for privacy's sake I won't...he's astonishing, so fantastically talented, overlooked for the most part without cause and it breaks my heart that this is the case. He deserves everything and yet the world gives him nothing, it's so unfair. So maybe I can give a little back. I'm certainly trying to put the effort into him that world seems to have forgotten.

I was looking for validation, mentioned it earlier in the thread I think, that I'm not barking up the wrong tree. I just didn't have any basis of knowledge for this level of shyness, so I found the place where I could ask the questions I needed answered. Now I've got a much better idea what's going on in his head and with that knowledge I can try to the best of my skills to introduce him to the world of romantic relationships. They really are worth all the trouble people go through for them.

I wish I could just go around and tell every girl to stop being so spastic and spend a little time trying to get to know that cute shy boy sitting next to them and let the outgoing jocks fend for themselves. My mama always told me the more you put into something the more you'll get out of it. If that is the case here, I've got a heck of a good time comin' to me lol.
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Wow... all I can say is that this gives me a lot of hope and that I should never give up. This guy is really lucky.
 
hangbi92

hangbi92

Well-known member
combat said:
Wow... all I can say is that this gives me a lot of hope and that I should never give up. This guy is really lucky.
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Yeah hes way too lucky. U Understood are you an angel fell from the sky.
Im so shy and yet I have to find my love on my own
 
U

Understood

Active member
combat said:
Wow... all I can say is that this gives me a lot of hope and that I should never give up. This guy is really lucky.
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You shouldn't ever give up, I'm sure there are other people like me. Thanks for saying so, it means a lot that everyone has been so adamant that I'm not crazy for doing this.
 
U

Understood

Active member
I'm still reading lol - never know when some earth shattering epiphany might occur to someone and show up here.

Nothing too interesting to report as of yet...over the weekend we got in some quality cuddling time (his friend was even there talking to us) and he's finally starting to ask me places rather than the other way around. Thank heavens too, I feel like a creeper when I'm always like, "hey, wanna go to a movie? hey, wanna go eat something? hey, can I come over? hey, i'm having a picnic, you should join. hey, if I say hey followed by do you want to do something one more time, I'm going to go crazy."
 
U

Understood

Active member
token_asian_friend said:
lol. You might have to get used to that. Don't know about other shy guys, but I'm the same way. I was with someone for 3 years, and until the very end, she was the one initiating just about everything. Every once in a while I'd come up with something original, but it was always more of a token gesture than real spontaneity. I don't know, maybe you can change your guy though since it's very possible I'm just a complete homebody.
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Haha, original ideas I'm fine doing the inviting for, but it'd be nice if I didn't have to invite myself over to his place. That feels kind of weird. He should be able to say, "hey, we're sitting doing nothing...wanna come do nothing with us?" chances are I'd be like heck yes i'll do nothing with you. He's quite the homebody too. Prefers to not be around strangers too much, even when he is he'll just wander off by himself and play with a lamppost or a tree or something.
 
U

Understood

Active member
token_asian_friend said:
Aw, it's great that you feel that way. Don't take it personally though; I think it's probably just part of his personality. I know it was for me and had nothing to do with the way I felt about the other person at all. I always welcome the together time, but I guess it's just not something I've ever been accustomed to initiating.

hahahaha. Classic. I used to do that too when I was younger. ::eek:: It's just a phase. :D
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I'm pretty easy going, doing nothing is fun for me just so long as I have somebody to do it with. Hell, it doesn't even need to be direct contact with him either. I'm quite content watching the walls and keepin' an eye on whatever it is he's tinkering with. Also, I don't know how playing with a lamp post is a phase, but I'll take your word for it...


token_asian_friend said:
...it was thanks to my relationships that I was able to get over a lot of that shyness and awkwardness.
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Yeah, I've thought from the beginning that even if things between he and I don't work out at least he'll be getting some experience in interpersonal relationships. And I get the thrill of the chase plus learning about an amazing guy.
 
NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
:D I really think that once he gets a taste of the good stuff, he will be much less reticent in his physicality with you. He's just clueless and afraid is all.
 
U

Understood

Active member
NathanielWingatePeaslee said:
:D I really think that once he gets a taste of the good stuff, he will be much less reticent in his physicality with you. He's just clueless and afraid is all.
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All I can do is hope, right?

The end of the school year fast approaches so I'm running out of time to make something happen. I'm afraid that if things don't seem to be progressing to him by then that he's not going to be willing to keep whatever-the-heck-it-is-we-are going through a 3-month hiatus. (Whether or not we arrange to see each other over the summer is yet to be determined, of course)

It would also be infinitely helpful if our time alone was not so concentrated in times when we should both be sleeping. Makes me hesitant to start anything because I don't want to be the reason he only gets 3 hours of sleep or something...that'd be rather inconvenient, I feel.
 
U

Understood

Active member
Updates continuing:
Well, still not getting too far, cuddling and now a few kisses on the cheek (from me, not him)...school year ends in a week and we'll be 600 miles apart. Plus, now I have the ever so lovely benefit of having a very affectionate guy that I used to have a crush on, and still like, confessing that he really likes me and would like to pursue a relationship with me.

So, y'all, help me out here. How do I choose? Is it better to pick the shy guy that may never be willing to show affection knowing I must give up a relationship with a guy who will give me everything now?

Obviously, I still have to talk to my shy guy and get his thoughts on all this, but still...kind of a mess. I don't want to hurt anybody and I'm fairly certain bailing out on sir shy now might not be the best thing for his psyche. Especially given that he is friends with the guy I could leave him for.

I think I'm going to cry. Dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into...
 
hangbi92

hangbi92

Well-known member
I think u r the one to decide. Choose which one u think u will live happily with.
If u choose the other guy, I think the shy guy will understand for u. U can still be good friends with him
But I support the shy guy :)
 
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