I want to go home now

[xmisunderstoodx]

I'm so depressed, I'm numb. I'm waiting for my body to die. Is that possible or will i just make myself very sick? I wish God would just let me come home now (if there even is a God, but I'd probably go somewhere else for slightly doubting his existence).

If I died, I don't think my family would be as miserable as I am right now. (Like died not suicide) When they see the way I am, they're like what the f*** is wrong with you. They think that not say it. My grandmother is stuck on why am I like this.

Nothing makes me happy. i don't clothes, Ipods, money, material things. I want smartness, want to be wise, social. I have some of that but it's like I'm some form of retarded. I'm 15 and I see people younger than me who has it all together and I feel.. (.....) They know how to dress, what goes together, more experience, social life, it's humiliating.


I'm not comfortable with my body anymore. Everyone's always pointing out something that's wrong. You're thighs are too big, you look like you're pregnant, put your lips in why you have them stuck out, you have flat butt, your nose is big, you're short, you need to get a figure, you laugh weird, any facial expression i make is ugly, your laugh is not cute, your hair damaged... I know I should ignore that but it makes me not care about my looks. Especially around boys...I don't ..eh


It won't end but it's alright .

 

[Flanscho]

Well, your body will change a lot in the next few years. So if you're uncomfortable with your body, you don't have to wait long for that to change.

 

[MikeyC]

You're 15 - your body and mind are going through hellish stages of change and puberty is a really rough time. I was depressed as all hell at 15 (still am) and I have really bad acne.

That said, sorry to hear you're not enjoying anything. :: Hopefully in time you will.

 

[xmisunderstoodx]

I mostly just hate myself and I want to die. Because I never do anything right, i'm worthless, useless. waste of air and life.

 

[sullyS25]

You are young, things will change. Youre not worthless, useless and I know you can do things right. There are highs and lows in life, you are currently experiencing a low. You're young, things will change, guaranteed. The teenage years are difficult, it gets better. Just hang in there.

 

[coyote]

also consider that it has been proven that the human brain isn't fully developed until the age of 25 or so

the last part to develop is the area of cognition that covers decision making and risk taking

so i urge you to wait until you are at least 25 before making any big choices on your own

 

[jaim38]

I know how you feel. Younger people like my cousins dress better than me, and I feel like a weirdo amongst them. But then again, their family is richer than mine so I guess they're able to afford good clothes. I hope you find something, like a passion, that you can pursue and preoccupy yourself with. At least it makes life a bit worthy of living.

 

[xmisunderstoodx]

i need sum1 talk to

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

xmisunderstoodx-The teenage years..Been there, done that-it can suck! I really feel for what you're going through. I'm a guy, so I don't know what it feels like for young girls. But, from what I've heard, it's a time full of self doubts and confusion.
I was suicidal when I turned 17. I wish at that time, I had a psychologist or therapist that I could have gone too......If your family could afford it that would be a great option! My family couldn't and I would have been too embarrassed to tell them anyway.

 

[sullyS25]

To add to what ImNotMyIllness said, I wouldnt be surprised if the school you go to provides counseling services for free if your parents cannot afford to get a counselor...just an idea

 

[MikeyC]

I mostly just hate myself and I want to die. Because I never do anything right, i'm worthless, useless. waste of air and life.

I feel the same about myself sometimes but I also know that realistically that is not true. Same for you.

i need sum1 talk to

My PM's are always open if you need a friendly ear.

xmisunderstoodx-The teenage years..Been there, done that-it can suck! I really feel for what you're going through. I'm a guy, so I don't know what it feels like for young girls. But, from what I've heard, it's a time full of self doubts and confusion.

Teenage years are indeed really awful, and teenage girls have lots of pressure by society, so that certainly doesn't help.