Scrabbl
1
2012 has been a pretty awesome year for me. I turned 22 and I think I'm cured. Now I'm back (after not posting for years) to share my story in the hopes that it'll inspire you guys to keep fighting the good fight =)
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Why do i say I am cured? Here are some changes that noticed in myself in the year of 2013:
I accidentally shaved my head bald and I didn't even feel the least bit of negative self-consciousness.
I feel genuinely happy for my friends when good things happened to them (like getting graduate school offers), instead of feeling bitterly jealous like I usually did in the past.
I am no longer self-conscious when I let out profanity or talk about sex or being somewhat non-PC. Basically, I stopped caring too much about the **** I say.
I have a set of opinions and beliefs about things that are not endorsed by others yet I proudly stand by them (but I sure do enjoy a good argument and i'm open to new views).
I actively initiate contact with my friends now instead of waiting for them to text / call me. I am much less affected by rejection now. I think this is because I've figured out how to make myself happy. I feel like I no longer need anybody's approval or attention or affection.
When I say, "girls? **** 'em", I mean it with conviction now. I used to say the exact same thing around the same time last year but it was always 2 parts bitterness, 3 parts cynicism and 5 parts self-deception. But now, I've just become completely okay with it. Partly because I feel like I can get a gf anytime if I wanted to. Just like that. And partly because I feel like I've found happiness and that happiness is gf-optional.
I remember I used to feel so ****ty on Valentine's. This year I just felt genuinely apathetic or even happy for those who did have someone. This was totally unexpected. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm super happy with the way my life is right now and I just want everyone else to feel what it is that I'm feeling.
I used to be that quiet little kid who was always seeking approval, always trying to impress. Now I am an independent, self-assured person.is.
So how did this happen? I would say the biggest contributer is communication skills. Working at xyz allowed me to become a much more confident speaker, which then set everything else in motion to propel me out of my rut. Of course, confidence in speaking tends to be a vicious cycle. Indeed, it remained a vicious cycle for almost my entire life: my shyness prevented me from getting the much needed oral practice, which in turn fueled my shyness. So how did I break out of this cycle?
I think there was no magic shortcut. I think what made me open up was confidence in my work. I prided myself in being a creative game developer. I loved doing what I did and I was good at it too. There was no one else at the company who was as simultaneously creative, artistic and technical as I was. This gave me the confidence I needed to express myself in front of people who were industry veterans. Oh and I guess it helped that many of my coworkers were Quebecois. Their less-than-perfect English made me less self-conscious about making mistakes.
is.
The funny thing is that I wasn't even deliberately trying to practice speaking or treating my SA. I remember years ago I tried so many treatments (psychotherapy, meds, CBT audio book by Dr. Richards (which I still would totally recommend), forcing myself to say yes to invitations).... I put so much effort into curing SA and I saw very little improvement. Not paying attention to SA turned out to be the solution. Well, I guess it's more than not paying attention to it, rather, it is focusing your attention to developing your skills, your hobbies and finding your life's passion.
Passion is just another word for whatever it is that you do that makes you happy. I am a firm believer that passion is the key to success. In fact, I think all yeou need is passion. 'Cause once you have passion. Hard work will follow. Confidence will follow. Friends will follow. Success will follow. Respect will follow. Women will follow. Riches will follow. Etc.
Good luck to you all! I sincerely hope every one of you can find confidence and the path to happiness, and may u have a fantastic 2013!
===================
Why do i say I am cured? Here are some changes that noticed in myself in the year of 2013:
I accidentally shaved my head bald and I didn't even feel the least bit of negative self-consciousness.
I feel genuinely happy for my friends when good things happened to them (like getting graduate school offers), instead of feeling bitterly jealous like I usually did in the past.
I am no longer self-conscious when I let out profanity or talk about sex or being somewhat non-PC. Basically, I stopped caring too much about the **** I say.
I have a set of opinions and beliefs about things that are not endorsed by others yet I proudly stand by them (but I sure do enjoy a good argument and i'm open to new views).
I actively initiate contact with my friends now instead of waiting for them to text / call me. I am much less affected by rejection now. I think this is because I've figured out how to make myself happy. I feel like I no longer need anybody's approval or attention or affection.
When I say, "girls? **** 'em", I mean it with conviction now. I used to say the exact same thing around the same time last year but it was always 2 parts bitterness, 3 parts cynicism and 5 parts self-deception. But now, I've just become completely okay with it. Partly because I feel like I can get a gf anytime if I wanted to. Just like that. And partly because I feel like I've found happiness and that happiness is gf-optional.
I remember I used to feel so ****ty on Valentine's. This year I just felt genuinely apathetic or even happy for those who did have someone. This was totally unexpected. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm super happy with the way my life is right now and I just want everyone else to feel what it is that I'm feeling.
I used to be that quiet little kid who was always seeking approval, always trying to impress. Now I am an independent, self-assured person.is.
So how did this happen? I would say the biggest contributer is communication skills. Working at xyz allowed me to become a much more confident speaker, which then set everything else in motion to propel me out of my rut. Of course, confidence in speaking tends to be a vicious cycle. Indeed, it remained a vicious cycle for almost my entire life: my shyness prevented me from getting the much needed oral practice, which in turn fueled my shyness. So how did I break out of this cycle?
I think there was no magic shortcut. I think what made me open up was confidence in my work. I prided myself in being a creative game developer. I loved doing what I did and I was good at it too. There was no one else at the company who was as simultaneously creative, artistic and technical as I was. This gave me the confidence I needed to express myself in front of people who were industry veterans. Oh and I guess it helped that many of my coworkers were Quebecois. Their less-than-perfect English made me less self-conscious about making mistakes.
is.
The funny thing is that I wasn't even deliberately trying to practice speaking or treating my SA. I remember years ago I tried so many treatments (psychotherapy, meds, CBT audio book by Dr. Richards (which I still would totally recommend), forcing myself to say yes to invitations).... I put so much effort into curing SA and I saw very little improvement. Not paying attention to SA turned out to be the solution. Well, I guess it's more than not paying attention to it, rather, it is focusing your attention to developing your skills, your hobbies and finding your life's passion.
Passion is just another word for whatever it is that you do that makes you happy. I am a firm believer that passion is the key to success. In fact, I think all yeou need is passion. 'Cause once you have passion. Hard work will follow. Confidence will follow. Friends will follow. Success will follow. Respect will follow. Women will follow. Riches will follow. Etc.
Good luck to you all! I sincerely hope every one of you can find confidence and the path to happiness, and may u have a fantastic 2013!
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