da_illest101
Well-known member
I completely agree with you
I refuse to get married.
- Thread starter I_Lucas
- Start date
I completely agree with you
D
deleted user 1
Guest
I used to think along these lines too. Until I realised that I was pidgeon holing marriage into my own warped perception of it, just as much as general society has a warped perception of marriage. It is what you make of it, and if you can find a like-minded partner, then it can easily be the complete opposite of all that you listed. This is what it may be for you, but not necessarily for everyone else. Most people will disagree strongly with you, so it's best to at least maintain an open perspective. I myself maintain the stance that marriage is not for me, but I respect it for what it is and respect the wishes of those who want to get married for the right reasons and those who are respectful of everything that it was meant to be.
there isnt a thing that is only good,sure marriage may have problems,not all are the same by the way,but I imagine that there are good things too,like always returning home to someone who loves you and is waiting for you,always be there to support and be supported,the kind of intimacy that only comes with years and years of living together,to never be alone and etc,of course you have to find the right person.
I personally think marriages are a bad idea. Amongst all the married couples I have come acrossed (from friends' parents to relatives), I have only really seen one happy marriage in my own entire life, and nope, I'm not joking. Not all the unhappy couples have divorced of course, they are just tolerating each other in the marriage, don't think its something I want to sign up for.
There's also the issue of a suitable partner I guess, if I come upon a suitable partner, I might actually get married. Otherwise, I prefer a singleton's life, no sense complicating life.
There's also the issue of a suitable partner I guess, if I come upon a suitable partner, I might actually get married. Otherwise, I prefer a singleton's life, no sense complicating life.
MsBuzzkillington
Well-known member
I am not a fan of marriage, but the main reason I don't want to get married is because it seems very difficult to love someone for that long. Just seems impossible.
One thing, you do NOT have to have kids when you get married. If I ever find someone to spend the rest of my life with, they are going to have to agree with me that kids are not an option, period.
7. The suppression of your own hopes and desires
EEk? Really? Do you really think that about a long term partner? Do you think that loving someone means giving up your hopes and dreams? It's all about compromise and making each other happy. You find someone with common goals in life, you find someone on common ground, with your same beliefs and values. You look for someone who has similar dreams and a similar lifestyle.
You can make your love life anything you want it to be. Anything you desire, you can find in someone else.
If you don't want to be bored, find someone spontaneous. If you don't want to be bored, become swingers. If you don't want to be bored, find someone who is willing to try new things with you.
Don't want to be involved with their family? Marry an orphan. Marry someone who hates their family and doesn't want anything to do with them. Marry someone who doesn't like family get togethers.
The only reason you may "dumb yourself down" is because you grow old and your brain cells start dying.
Marry someone who challenges you intellectually. Mary only girls with an IQ over 180.
I could go on and on and on about this. Like I said, I am not a fan of marriage, but I think your 10 reasons are about the worst reasons someone could be against marriage.
There are just SOOOO many options when it comes to how you live your life, and marriage is not some super tight square box of life that everyone has to act the exact same way in.
One thing, you do NOT have to have kids when you get married. If I ever find someone to spend the rest of my life with, they are going to have to agree with me that kids are not an option, period.
7. The suppression of your own hopes and desires
EEk? Really? Do you really think that about a long term partner? Do you think that loving someone means giving up your hopes and dreams? It's all about compromise and making each other happy. You find someone with common goals in life, you find someone on common ground, with your same beliefs and values. You look for someone who has similar dreams and a similar lifestyle.
You can make your love life anything you want it to be. Anything you desire, you can find in someone else.
If you don't want to be bored, find someone spontaneous. If you don't want to be bored, become swingers. If you don't want to be bored, find someone who is willing to try new things with you.
Don't want to be involved with their family? Marry an orphan. Marry someone who hates their family and doesn't want anything to do with them. Marry someone who doesn't like family get togethers.
The only reason you may "dumb yourself down" is because you grow old and your brain cells start dying.
Marry someone who challenges you intellectually. Mary only girls with an IQ over 180.
I could go on and on and on about this. Like I said, I am not a fan of marriage, but I think your 10 reasons are about the worst reasons someone could be against marriage.
There are just SOOOO many options when it comes to how you live your life, and marriage is not some super tight square box of life that everyone has to act the exact same way in.
Aussie_Lad
Well-known member
I'd get married, but would want to live in a de-facto relationship for a little while before deciding what to do.
Greatmindsthinkthenact
New member
I think it all depends what you want in a marriage and your definition of it. I think of marriage like a family. Ofcourse there are going to be the ups and downs, what type of relationship doesn't? There is nothing perfect in this world so we need to remember that and not have high expectations.
I think marriage keeps your sanity intact. Majority of the people you interact with do not tell you exactly what they feel and many keep a wall. With marriage, at least you have that person who is real and will tell you exactly how they are feeling, doing and etc....
I think marriage keeps your sanity intact. Majority of the people you interact with do not tell you exactly what they feel and many keep a wall. With marriage, at least you have that person who is real and will tell you exactly how they are feeling, doing and etc....
Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
I myself am married, but I am not necessarily for or against marriage. Some people do well as married couples and some simply don't.
I personally think you've been watching too many movies or listening to too many embittered people. Marriage is what two people make it, and it's not going to be rosy all the time. It takes work. You don't just get married and expect your wedding bands to do all the work for you.
Not all of the things you've listed are inevitable and all of them can be overcome with patience, understanding and with hard work. It's easy to judge marriage based on what you see in movies and what you hear people say when they complain about their current or former spouse. The truth is that you can never really know what goes on between two people behind closed doors and you should always get both sides of the story and hope that you're not being lied to. lol Those happy couples that you see who have been married for ages have been through a lot of ups and downs together and didn't give up because of the things you listed.
You yourself write that you're not willing to put in the work so why even judge people who get married only to file for divorce a year later?
I forgot to add that this is not my attempt to change your mind. If you truly don't ever want to get married then you should honor that decision. I'm not here to make anyone see things my way or make the decisions I've made.
I personally think you've been watching too many movies or listening to too many embittered people. Marriage is what two people make it, and it's not going to be rosy all the time. It takes work. You don't just get married and expect your wedding bands to do all the work for you.
Not all of the things you've listed are inevitable and all of them can be overcome with patience, understanding and with hard work. It's easy to judge marriage based on what you see in movies and what you hear people say when they complain about their current or former spouse. The truth is that you can never really know what goes on between two people behind closed doors and you should always get both sides of the story and hope that you're not being lied to. lol Those happy couples that you see who have been married for ages have been through a lot of ups and downs together and didn't give up because of the things you listed.
You yourself write that you're not willing to put in the work so why even judge people who get married only to file for divorce a year later?
I forgot to add that this is not my attempt to change your mind. If you truly don't ever want to get married then you should honor that decision. I'm not here to make anyone see things my way or make the decisions I've made.
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Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
I know I'm only quoting this bit from your entire message, but that doesn't mean that I disagree with the rest. I just wanted to say that it's not difficult to love someone for the rest of your life. Speaking for myself, I never stop loving a person. Once I truly love someone then I love them for the rest of my life.