Dark angel
Well-known member
Hi everyone! Hopefully y'all doing good. I need a place to vent after what happened today at work. As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts I recently started working at a hospital coordinating the appointments for patients and making the confirmation of those appointments. I've been there almost 4 weeks now and I've make my mistakes here and there. For each of those mistakes either my co workers or my managers have being quite patient in explaining to me how to do things the right way. Yesterday my co workers gave me the responsability of a new task( well, not that new because one part of that task I did it before in my first days there) and it was a very VERY stressful day because I had to juggle answering phone calls- which I receive approximately like 80( NO JOKE) plus confirm the appointments for the next day, plus dealing with the complaints of some patients, which I'm not good at because some of them scream at you and disrespect you, plus handeling that new task. So even when I almost thought I was about to loose it I manage it pretty well, which is very unlike me, I tend to get very nervous(and I did at first but I took a very deep breath before I started) when people puts a lot of responsabilities in my hands so I had to suck it in. Anyhow, after work I felt quite proud of myself driving home. I NEVER do that, NEVER! It is the first time I felt positive for something that I do because truthfully everyday I have to manage the fact that I have sort of phone fobia. Sometimes I can't speak on the phone when others are looking at me and this past couple of weeks I've tried to not let that stop me from doing my duties, even when my head kills me with a thousand of negative thoughts.
Now, today I arrive at work feeling quite good still about all that and when I arrived at our little office I was sweating a bit too much because the distance from the parking lot to the entrance of the hospital is quite considerable. I do nothing more than opening the door of where I work answering phones and my co worker very passively tells me: " Hey[sites my WHOLE name here], sit down because we need to talk" I immediately went into panic mode because I knew I had done something wrong and my head started saying Ohhhh noo here we go again, I did yet ANOTHER thing wrong. She says to me "What the hell did you do with the list that I gave you of a "certain doctor".
The list that she mentioned, I had the task of calling the patients and tell them that a certain internal medicine doctor wasn't gonna be present on a certain date and give them new appointments, but I didn't know that I have to assign those new dates myself. Instead I gave the patients the option to choose which dates they wanted to come.( I wasnt supposed to do that) Because of my mistake my co worker ended up being grounded by my supervisors because they thought it was HER who made the mistake instead of me. So I felt bad(really bad) that she got all the complaints and possible ugly comments from them and started sweating even more and started behaving like a robot. My worker noticed that I got nervous and she asked why I was sweating so much, and even pointed out that she understood that I was having an anxiety attack. That made me even more nervous because I didn't know it was so evident when this anxiety mother struck me surprisingly. I couldn't move, or talk or do anything else. During my entire shift I was angry and I didn't talk to any of them until my eating break. I was so serious the entire time and I could tell everyone noticed it because each time my supervisors entered our office I didn't look at them and if I did, I stare at them with a very serious expression, angry even. If they entered again to the office for a second or third time they didn't dare to look in my direction and I could tell they avoided eye contact with me. I know my expression must've being surprising for them because generally i'm always smiling and stuff. The only way I could calm myself down is talking to my mom during the lunch break. It wasnt until then that I took things a little bit easier and started to be more like myself again.
I felt really bad for my reaction but I couldn't handle it. Now I feel bad for having this stinky attitude toward my co worker. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it the whole day even when I apologize to her for my mistake.
Now, today I arrive at work feeling quite good still about all that and when I arrived at our little office I was sweating a bit too much because the distance from the parking lot to the entrance of the hospital is quite considerable. I do nothing more than opening the door of where I work answering phones and my co worker very passively tells me: " Hey[sites my WHOLE name here], sit down because we need to talk" I immediately went into panic mode because I knew I had done something wrong and my head started saying Ohhhh noo here we go again, I did yet ANOTHER thing wrong. She says to me "What the hell did you do with the list that I gave you of a "certain doctor".
The list that she mentioned, I had the task of calling the patients and tell them that a certain internal medicine doctor wasn't gonna be present on a certain date and give them new appointments, but I didn't know that I have to assign those new dates myself. Instead I gave the patients the option to choose which dates they wanted to come.( I wasnt supposed to do that) Because of my mistake my co worker ended up being grounded by my supervisors because they thought it was HER who made the mistake instead of me. So I felt bad(really bad) that she got all the complaints and possible ugly comments from them and started sweating even more and started behaving like a robot. My worker noticed that I got nervous and she asked why I was sweating so much, and even pointed out that she understood that I was having an anxiety attack. That made me even more nervous because I didn't know it was so evident when this anxiety mother struck me surprisingly. I couldn't move, or talk or do anything else. During my entire shift I was angry and I didn't talk to any of them until my eating break. I was so serious the entire time and I could tell everyone noticed it because each time my supervisors entered our office I didn't look at them and if I did, I stare at them with a very serious expression, angry even. If they entered again to the office for a second or third time they didn't dare to look in my direction and I could tell they avoided eye contact with me. I know my expression must've being surprising for them because generally i'm always smiling and stuff. The only way I could calm myself down is talking to my mom during the lunch break. It wasnt until then that I took things a little bit easier and started to be more like myself again.
I felt really bad for my reaction but I couldn't handle it. Now I feel bad for having this stinky attitude toward my co worker. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it the whole day even when I apologize to her for my mistake.
