I know that I will never find love

[obtusian]

For me living with AvPD means that love will never a part of my life. I cannot give enough of myself to someone else for this to ever happen so, as a rule, I avoid any situation where I might meet someone. I continually daydream about having the balls to engage with someone I like but deep down I know that it will never happen.

It's incredibly difficult to live like this.

 

[spider04]

Last year, for the first time it seemed as if love was finally becoming part of my life but it quickly went away, I was not good enough for it and I could see where I failed. Now even if I don't avoid situations where I might meet someone, I seem to not be able to repeat what I did last year anymore. I've convinced myself that no normal person would ever be interested in me, it will fall apart at some point.

 

[Ignace]

I feel your pain. :sad:

 

[Flanscho]

So in other words: you have completely given up on ever improving your situation.

 

[theslowesthand]

I suppose the "bricks'n'mortar" shield i have built around me over a lifetime, would comprise of SA/SP (bricks), and AvPD/shyness/love-shyness (the final mortar to form the perfect seal). Sometimes it's realistic & understandable to completely give up...

 

[TreeBones]

To be honest I feel the same way you do but I still take my own thoughts into consideration. I think you should have faith anyway, no matter how hopleless it seems. I know you'd be making yourself venerable because when we believe even the tiniest bit that something good could happen, and then it doesn't, we're heart broken. But you don't know that it won't ever happen. A few years ago I started a new school and I didn't talk to anyone for almost the whole year! I though it's been this long, why would I talk to anyone and make friends now? But I eventually did around January. so you never know.

 

[Claudia21]

So in other words: you have completely given up on ever improving your situation.

I second this. You may feel like if you only had someone in your life now, all your loneliness and pain will be taken away if you only could have someone with you. But from what I've been through I can tell you that not even the most amazing person on earth can ever do that for you. Try seeking some spiritual outlet for you frustrations. Just by making the commitment to myself to seek G-D and going to church has done very small but nonetheless visible changes in my life. I hope this helps

 

[Kiwong]

Buy a pet, they will love you unconditionally. At 51, I don't think I will ever love another human in the romantic sense. But I love my pet, dearly.