I ****ing give up!

[darkrider]

Oh God, I've had enough of it. It's the summer vacation, I'm home alone 24/7 doing absolutely nothing. TV's boring, internet's boring, playing video games are boring. I've had it now! I'm sick and tired of it!

I could go out with my friends, but I can't. I've tried, it ain't succeeding. The only time I leave the house is to go to private lessons. It's just me and my teacher and I can't get myself to overcome SA. If I feel nervous around one person, how am I supposed to summon the courage to go out in places like the mall and to cinemas where it's fricking crowded.

Oh God, I never asked for this. If left to me, I still probably won't go out. Maybe twice a month at most cause tbh partying and stuff just doesn't interest me. But at least when I do go out, I'll have a great time and won't have any worries.

But I just give up. I'm a lost cause. I've tried EVERYTHING to get over it, but nothing works. I'm turning 17 this year, I HAVE to go for my driver's licence, but I know I'm gonna get nervous and mess up.

Then what am I do when I enter the working world? How can I sit down for a job interview, look a guy in the eye and carry on a conversation? I've had. I give up. I'm just gonna live with my mom till 50 and die a lonely man.

 

[FalseAlarm]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way but I can definitely relate, my summer is really boring too

 

[johannes]

it's sad to hear that, but think you have 17, it's very soon to give up and i'm pretty sure you could overcome it, and projecting your life off of your current situation is not the way

 

[EasySkanking]

I'm turning 17 this year...

Wow - you're turning just 17 and you've tried EVERYTHING already? Impressssive . I'm just 'playing' with you dude, but I think you get my point. You haven't tried everything, because if you've had, you'd be full of hope and optimism and eagerness to get 'better' and 'better'. Check out this replay I made to this thread (so as to save me the trouble of repeating myself ):. Try out the things that I posted there - I guarantee that they will work.

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/hi-i-want-to-cure-myself-will-you-help-me-34629/

Then what am I do when I enter the working world? How can I sit down for a job interview, look a guy in the eye and carry on a conversation? I've had. I give up. I'm just gonna live with my mom till 50 and die a lonely man.

You'll do all those things (eventually) because you HAVE to, unless you don't want to "live" at all.

Things get better dude - you're young, don't give up quite yet... you've got a lot of time left to work it out.

 

[dragonoth]

Perhaps you can take up a new hobby? Drawing, photography, get a pet and look after it, exercise, baking, cooking, writing etc. Tons of things left to do still! Look in magazines or the internet for ideas.
Also try rewarding yourself for going to the mall. Say to yourself, 'You did really good, Darkrider. Proud of you.' A bit of self encouragement can go a long way. And anyway, what's the point in giving up so soon?

 

[*amie*]

I know exactly how you feel. Being alone and @ home a lot can really suck. My parents tell me to "just call somebody up and go out" as if it were so easy. Well it's not. And even when I do hang out with people, it's usually more stressful than enjoyable. However, despite having those bad days when things feel hopeless, I still believe that someday things WILL get better. I'm not sure when or how, but I think in the end things will work out ok for me. and I think the same could be for you. I mean, you're 17, you've got time to figure things out. try thinking more about the future you want, not the one you dread. Hang in there btw, if you're looking for something to do that doesn't involve tv, internet, etc, i suggest spending some time outdoors. I find being outside and walking or just sitting by myself often helps me feel good. sorry for the long post

 

[geanlove]

if you think you can't you won't! if you think you can you will! one step at a time! don't know where school falls in your life but you should be getting a high school diploma soon? a license, everyone freaks on the driving test because we want it real bad and I failed a few times before I got mine, and managers aren't horrid people either you're good for the/their job or not, they won't turn into beasts and their jaws stretch open & devour you anyone can be broken of on the job shyness! everyone can relate! I think we all have dating problems! right? Stop trying to throw in the towel! you can do it

 

[mismeek]

You should just take it a day at a time.. stressing about the future will only make it worse.. trust me!

 

[Prestonator]

Hey there!

By the way it sounds to me you have no optimism and no hope. The first thing about overcoming SA is to BELIEVE that you CAN overcome it.

My therapist has explained SA and anxiety to me like this:

Anxiety is something we will all suffer as it is the brain trying to tell us to run in a situation that could create some danger to us, like for example crossing a road. If it we weren't anxious is situations like that we may not look to see if anything is coming and then risk being hit by oncoming traffic. But it is when anxiety interferes with our everyday living that it becomes an issue, is not normal and should be dealt with.

Anxiety, to me, is something which has latched itself onto the outside of my being (metaphorically of course). It is something that is attached to a piece of elastic string, which i can pull away from me until it snaps and detaches itself. This can happen when we change our mind to think differently about situations. For example, say I was asked to go for a meal with a friend, instead of immediately focusing on what bad things could happen to provoke my anxiety, I would maybe think about those things for a second but then think of all the positive experiences I have had and focus my mind on them, telling myself that I can do it and that there is no need for me to be anxious about it; it will be okay. In these situations, I can detach the anxiety from me. I don't think that your inner person would have crippling SA, it is instead the anxiety that is stuck to you. And well if you have suffered from SA for a long time, then the anxiety will have stuck itself so hard that you may feel there is no hope of ever living with out it, but infact it still will be possible, it will just take more perservernce and hope to do so.

I think for you, what might be best is to try to tackle your SA when you are just around one person. Then when you feel a bit more at ease, it will lower your general SA levels and make it easier for you to be around a few people. For some people launching themselves in at the deep end works, but for you it sounds liike maybe not.

What I do is focus on positivity, self believe and being optimistic. Negativity will get you knowhere!

 

[Honda]

You will get over it. You know you dont like how it feels and that is a good enough excuse to work on overcoming it. The only way I got over it is by forcing myself out. You need to push yourself out there and find yourself a sport/martial art you can be passionate about, its the best thing to get you out there and boost your confidence. Its hard work but start from now, knowing that if you push yourself you will get better in the future.

You need to get yourself occupied with things, hobbies and passions otherwise you will get consumed by all this negative cycle of thoughts and attitude. And having no job or anything to do in summer is the best catalyst for those negative feelings, so i understand how it feels. Always find a force or incentive that is stronger than the fear, negativity or anger that holds you back to push you to do things that are productive..

I have changed alot as a person, I did it really slow cuz i hesitated alot, I was a bit late as I got to see the big picture a year ago but I changed alot, im another animal now.. You are still 16, dont worry about time rather focus on being self reliant, hardworking on improving yourself and pursue your passions and goals in life..

And always be:
- Hardworking
- Disciplined
- Patient
- Passionate

In building up yourself. If you stop dead in your tracks you wont go anywhere so might aswell try cuz what else is there to do in life, is a mystery..

Good luck, trust me, im not bull****ting...