well i don't have much confidence and i have low self esteem and this plays into my eye contact problem and i am very shy as well i when it comes to camming with my bf i cant make eye contact with him on cam hes says we cant cam or i cant see his cam either till i work on this i told him i would. anyone else have an eye contact problem please help any advice how can make eye contact instead of staring down and looking away :shyness:
i have trouble with this alot of trouble
- Thread starter timidgirl
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Froggy246
Well-known member
I don't think you can judge your level of eye contact skills on web camming, I say that because I find talking on the web cam really weird and tricky, I'm never sure where to look, and then sometimes the picture goes really bad and my BF starts morphing into the elephant man or something. I usually say lets just switch the camera on for a minute to see what's what and maybe do a pan of the room or something, but then when we start talking switch it off because it's too distracting. I don't see what the big deal is, I think he could defo cut you some slack with that and just take you as you are.
well froggy he does need cut me slack he wasn't mean about it hes really understanding i want work on this it was me that said i wanted work on it not him btw ok? you have any advice on how i can relax and make eye contact ?:thinking:
Froggy246
Well-known member
Ah I see well that's alright then, advice on making eye contact.. it's great that you can practice on him I suppose. To be honest I'm not a natural at that myself, I use to cheat a bit by looking at the tops of peoples heads, someone else might have some good tips. I'm probably very slightly below average these days, which is fine with me and a big improvement, I think that was just through forcing myself to do it until it became more ingrained... but also I'm quite concious of looking too intensely into someone's eyes and freaking them out so I'll look for a little bit then look away and then back etc.
DepravedFurball
Well-known member
Studies have shown that men are the ones most likely to not make eye contact with the people they talk to.
I'm guilty of this, of course. I rarely look people in the eyes for more than a few fleeting moments. Most often I'm looking around as they speak, as this is how I digest information. Could be that I'll start off watching their eyes, allow my gaze to slide to their shoulder, then look to their hands or body-language to gauge their non-verbal responses...
I've never been called out on it, though. But that's probably because I'm always showing that I'm following the conversation by nodding, pursing my lips, smiling, or knitting my brows together...
Of course, I've always considered eye-contact as part of a challenge, or something that happens when I'm searching for confirmation of a shocking statement.
To force yourself to stare at someone else's face, though? That'd probably come off as completely unnatural. I'd suggest that brief glances at the start of each of their responses is warranted, or when you're offering your own view... but other than that? Wouldn't it just be staring?
Though to ease yourself into even that, get a large pic of your bf's handsome, smiling face, and stare at it for hours on end. Memorize every little line that you see. Get comfortable with the windows of his soul being directed towards you. Try your best to fall for his loving gaze...
But when you meet in person, try not to stare at his crotch. While that might be welcome, it'd probably cause a few awkward moments.
I'm guilty of this, of course. I rarely look people in the eyes for more than a few fleeting moments. Most often I'm looking around as they speak, as this is how I digest information. Could be that I'll start off watching their eyes, allow my gaze to slide to their shoulder, then look to their hands or body-language to gauge their non-verbal responses...
I've never been called out on it, though. But that's probably because I'm always showing that I'm following the conversation by nodding, pursing my lips, smiling, or knitting my brows together...
Of course, I've always considered eye-contact as part of a challenge, or something that happens when I'm searching for confirmation of a shocking statement.
To force yourself to stare at someone else's face, though? That'd probably come off as completely unnatural. I'd suggest that brief glances at the start of each of their responses is warranted, or when you're offering your own view... but other than that? Wouldn't it just be staring?
Though to ease yourself into even that, get a large pic of your bf's handsome, smiling face, and stare at it for hours on end. Memorize every little line that you see. Get comfortable with the windows of his soul being directed towards you. Try your best to fall for his loving gaze...
But when you meet in person, try not to stare at his crotch. While that might be welcome, it'd probably cause a few awkward moments.
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I'm guilty of doing this in the past. In an effort to force myself to make eye contact, I make myself stare at the other person. I could tell the other person looked a bit uncomfortable. If I don't force myself to stare, my eyes will probably be down or looking all over the place. But still, I wouldn't recommend forcing oneself to stare just for the sake of eye contact. Too much can be bad. I think studies have shown that 70-80% eye contact is optimum.
There's also the the issue of making eye contact while attempting to talk or listen, which is multitasking by the way. Personally, I can't think, talk, or listen very well if I have to make eye contact.
Bo592
Well-known member
Well, what do you think your true problem is for not being able to make eye contact .
1. are you afraid of the way you look ?
2. are you afraid of making a mistake with him then having to see the look on his face ?