I would like to keep this thread civil. I have reached the point where I cannot continue to improve my social phobia unless I start discussing romantic matters, and so I am beginning, although I realize this may not be popular here. I am willing to hear your criticisms and I will try my best to respond cooly. Please keep in mind this is a very sensitive subject, and I would like constructive criticism.
Thanks.
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I am devestated by what I perceive as failures with women. I sometimes get to the point of feeling semi-suicidal about these failures. You see, I basicaly feel incompetent as a man.
1. I am very afraid of being humiliated by women.
I don't want to be toyed with, used, or otherwise disrespected. When this happened in the past, I felt destroyed, worthless, and undeserving of life. It first began in 9th grade. I asked out an attractive girl at a sports event and when she used and then dropped me, I was crushed. Subsequent women played with me brutaly until high-school was over. That's when I started sticking up for myself. It's my goal never to be humiliated like that again.
2. I believe that women don't like me, because they don't respect me, and that they don't respect me because I am not good enough.
I was the nicest guy to more women then I could count on my hands during highschool. I wasn't simply after sex, I wanted a girlfriend. But I wasn't good enough for them, because there was something wrong with me that made them lose respect for me, and treat me like a toy for their amusement. While failures with women have resulted from my inadvertantly insulting them, there are only a few such cases (like literaly 3 or 4). On the other hand there are dozens of cases of women who dated me once, and then dumped me. Most of these never even hooked up, and when they did I rarely pushed them past their limits. You see, I was usualy too scared to try that until two years ago. Its true that many of these girls I wanted sexualy more than romanticaly, but there were others whom I wanted to date, sex was not even part of the equation. Yet, these girls were the ones that trashed me the worst.
3. I believe that most women are 'out to get me'.
Perhaps I am paranoid, but I am firmly convinced that women in general would like to turn me into a complete loser, so they can secretly laugh at me behind my back, and make me their puppet. I even believe that women on this site are doing this to me, and that they don't believe half of the stuff they tell me. I don't think women want me to be successful, they want me to suffer and want to use me as a punching bag for their anger and insecurities. I just know that once they have managed to transform me into a sucker, some woman will call me a "pathetic loser who can't get any". I will then be their public laughing stock. I've seen them make such comments to and about other men. In this event, my self-esteem would be completely crushed and I would be destroyed.
4. I believe that women who like me will hook up on the first date, and that the rest either don't like me, or are playing games.
Of the dozens of women I have ever dated (even once), only a handful agreed to see me again after a first date with no action (not neccessarily sex). Some of these girls I wanted to date, some I wanted sex with, some I didn't know what I wanted. Sometimes I put moves on them, but usualy I never got the chance. Frequently in the past I had no intention of puting any moves on them. Even worse, the girls who did agree to see me again after not hooking up, were usualy interested in taking advantage of me. Once they got bored playing games and stringing me along (remember I didn't always put moves on them), they then got rid of me too. So, as you can see, all ended up exactly the same: they trashed me and didn't look back.
5. I believe that most women enjoy treating men they aren't interest in, with cruelty and sadism. [IM NOT SAYING THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST MY OPINION FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES!!!!!]
Women seem to have a very low opinion of men with romantic shortcomings. If a girl detects a lack of confidence, assertiveness, self-respect, or dominance, in my behavior, then she will change her opinion of me. Instantly I become a play-toy, although she originaly saw me as a potential lover or boyfriend. Once demoted to this lowly position, she will then proceed to abuse and tease me, and finaly get rid of me like trash. On numerous occasions I have heard women talking shit about guys with these shortcommings, so its not only some women who are like this, but most of them.
I hope this post wasn't offensive to anyone. I am not sure these beliefs of mine are sane and I would like help. At the very least, I will have a better idea if my thinking is correct. Again, I am willing to listen to your criticisms.
Thanks.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am devestated by what I perceive as failures with women. I sometimes get to the point of feeling semi-suicidal about these failures. You see, I basicaly feel incompetent as a man.
1. I am very afraid of being humiliated by women.
I don't want to be toyed with, used, or otherwise disrespected. When this happened in the past, I felt destroyed, worthless, and undeserving of life. It first began in 9th grade. I asked out an attractive girl at a sports event and when she used and then dropped me, I was crushed. Subsequent women played with me brutaly until high-school was over. That's when I started sticking up for myself. It's my goal never to be humiliated like that again.
2. I believe that women don't like me, because they don't respect me, and that they don't respect me because I am not good enough.
I was the nicest guy to more women then I could count on my hands during highschool. I wasn't simply after sex, I wanted a girlfriend. But I wasn't good enough for them, because there was something wrong with me that made them lose respect for me, and treat me like a toy for their amusement. While failures with women have resulted from my inadvertantly insulting them, there are only a few such cases (like literaly 3 or 4). On the other hand there are dozens of cases of women who dated me once, and then dumped me. Most of these never even hooked up, and when they did I rarely pushed them past their limits. You see, I was usualy too scared to try that until two years ago. Its true that many of these girls I wanted sexualy more than romanticaly, but there were others whom I wanted to date, sex was not even part of the equation. Yet, these girls were the ones that trashed me the worst.
3. I believe that most women are 'out to get me'.
Perhaps I am paranoid, but I am firmly convinced that women in general would like to turn me into a complete loser, so they can secretly laugh at me behind my back, and make me their puppet. I even believe that women on this site are doing this to me, and that they don't believe half of the stuff they tell me. I don't think women want me to be successful, they want me to suffer and want to use me as a punching bag for their anger and insecurities. I just know that once they have managed to transform me into a sucker, some woman will call me a "pathetic loser who can't get any". I will then be their public laughing stock. I've seen them make such comments to and about other men. In this event, my self-esteem would be completely crushed and I would be destroyed.
4. I believe that women who like me will hook up on the first date, and that the rest either don't like me, or are playing games.
Of the dozens of women I have ever dated (even once), only a handful agreed to see me again after a first date with no action (not neccessarily sex). Some of these girls I wanted to date, some I wanted sex with, some I didn't know what I wanted. Sometimes I put moves on them, but usualy I never got the chance. Frequently in the past I had no intention of puting any moves on them. Even worse, the girls who did agree to see me again after not hooking up, were usualy interested in taking advantage of me. Once they got bored playing games and stringing me along (remember I didn't always put moves on them), they then got rid of me too. So, as you can see, all ended up exactly the same: they trashed me and didn't look back.
5. I believe that most women enjoy treating men they aren't interest in, with cruelty and sadism. [IM NOT SAYING THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST MY OPINION FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES!!!!!]
Women seem to have a very low opinion of men with romantic shortcomings. If a girl detects a lack of confidence, assertiveness, self-respect, or dominance, in my behavior, then she will change her opinion of me. Instantly I become a play-toy, although she originaly saw me as a potential lover or boyfriend. Once demoted to this lowly position, she will then proceed to abuse and tease me, and finaly get rid of me like trash. On numerous occasions I have heard women talking shit about guys with these shortcommings, so its not only some women who are like this, but most of them.
I hope this post wasn't offensive to anyone. I am not sure these beliefs of mine are sane and I would like help. At the very least, I will have a better idea if my thinking is correct. Again, I am willing to listen to your criticisms.
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