i hate myseelf

[Falkor]

Hello,

I odn't know why. But I feel like giving up. I don't wanna give up though. So I might not. But I do feel like I hate myself. I want to fight so hard though.
I am so complex. All my life have been fighting. My invironment tell sme I'm having a handicap (SA,autism) and I can't take it any longer. I don't wanna see my parents anymore because they believe I have this and ppl tell me I'm in denial. I am okay but If I think of my handicap I feel like I want to just sleep this life away. I am so sick and ill and a f*ked up patient just give me a drink .

I really need to accept this and that well I don't know how. I hate that I am anxious and that i'm ugly and that I'm not perfect. I feel disgusting.
I am not talkactive, I'm a handicap, i am NOTHING. so that's why i don't want to see the world. I am not fun enough to be at school because i am NOTHING.

I'm at school and I was too late because I was crying my heart out to my aunt and grandmother. They tell me too like, yeah yo0u do have a handicap but maybe you don't! But all your life blabla...

Can I just escape from myself??

I just called a help line.. Because I feel like ****** and i might hurt myself.

 

[Clown]

I feel your pain, everyday I wake up feeling like to snap out of it.

 

[laure15]

I have moments like this too. I realize how horrible reality is compared to my daydreams, and I need to snap out of it.

 

[OceanMist]

I know I may get reemed for this, but I would advise letting go of the victim mentality.

Your whole post kind of said, poor me.

Yes, we have it harder than most people, but that's something that must be accepted and then we must forge ahead and live our life instead of complaining about it.

I think you are being so negative that you are letting that stop you from believing in yourself.

 

[MikeyC]

Falkor, I've noticed you go back and forth with your feelings - to points of bi-polar - so just ride this out and talk to whoever you need to, because you will feel better. I know it.