I feel sellfish

[recluse]

I've come to realise that i am a sellfish asshole for the reason that i am always lost in my own thoughts instead of focusing and being interested in other people. I am too preoccupied with what i am going to say next rather than listen to what the other person is saying so i miss a lot of the convo.

Often when someone talks to me my mind drifts to my thoughts and i feel guilty for this. I feel like such a sellfish asshole.

 

[Videotape]

SO DO I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[terrified]

You are not a selfish asshole. You have a lot to deal with. I could totally relate. I was told on several occasions that I'm self-absorbed and I only think about myself. It hurt my feelings a lot. It's hard not to be self-absorbed when you are hurting though.

One thing that usually helps me is having a goal. It helps me to move my focus from my emotions to the goal. Right now, I'm enrolled in an online class and studying to take CLEP test. That really helps me to not obsess about what emotional state I'm in or what people think about me and such.

 

[jamie99]

I'm the same way. When i talk to my boss i don't hear a word she says i just babble on about nothing while she just stands there and says nothing. I always say to myself next time i'm gonna listen to what she says and give an answer to her question, then wait til she responds but she doesn't really respond with anything or her response is so long i can't concentrate long enough to give her a normal answer. Hope that makes sense

 

[RedRibbons]

I feel like a selfish, self-absorbed, negative asshole.
And that I am ruining my closest, most important friendships/relationships
because of it. :'(

 

[Lea]

It doesn' t seem to be its due to selfishness, its just anxiety, depression or lack of concentration or something like that, to be selfish is something different. Btw who is really selfish doesn't realize it.

 

[Dave_McFadden]

When you're the only person in the world who gives a damn about your problems, it's no wonder you seem self-absorbed sometimes.

 

[Day_Tripper]

SO DO I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you edit your post? It stretches out the whole page.

Anyway, I feel the same way you do recluse. At least we're able to recognize that it's not a good thing, cause a lot of people who think this way don't even know or care.

 

[Argamemnon]

I respectfully disagree that you are a selfish asshole. You act like you do because you can't organize/control your thoughts. It's not your fault.

 

[Slothrop]

Just remember that the self-absorption is a product of your anxiety. It isn't an inherent property of yourself. You can change it. Conversation is a skill that can be developed, and learning how to listen is the most important part of it by far.

It's likely that your preoccupation in the conversation is in pre-thinking what you're going to say next and how it will be perceived, and trying to pick the "best" thing to say. This is futile on every level. Not because of anything particularly wrong with you, but because that's just not how conversations work.

There is never a "best" thing to say. Conversations are dynamic. They shift, they move, they get interrupted, they can change from sentence to sentence. They're like a game that you play for fun. The object is to keep they game moving back and forth, not to "win". Really, the only way to "lose" at a conversation is to walk away from it without having conveyed or received any information that needed to be communicated, but many conversations aren't about communicating much more than "hello" or "we're familiar with one another". The only way to mess up there is to not be willing to try.

 

[recluse]

I feel pretty down in the dumps, i mean even when i get messages from a girl i like i feel guilty rather than happy like i should be

A few weeks ago my granddad died and i did not feel sad, although it's a lot to do with the fact that i did not see my granddad for years. I can't seem to feel close to anyone