I feel more worthless than ever

[Meggy0001]

I was so sick of having no one that I met this guy from Facebook turns out he was seeing a lot of girls.
He said he liked me and I am not naïve I knew it was a lie but I didn't want to end it
He doesn't want to make it official and that is a massive clue I see him all the time for over 3 months now
He says he loves me and I am perfect and he can see a future, again I am way to anxious and have zero confidence that not once did I believe this
He keeps meeting these girls way way way prettier than me and massive chances fare that they are funner than me.
when he comes over I am sooooooooo quite and boring and he says it sometimes as a joke but its true.
He has literally took any confidence I had I hate myself sooo much. I have never been this depressed. I have no one I can chill with to get my mind of him. His always on my mind.
Doesn't help I have started a higher dose of my medication so my emotions are all over the place and I feel things way more strongly at the moment :/
Its the worst feeling ever, I just feel so low and wish I had never met him.
Things where easier without people.
he is tearing me down. I cry so much.
Its not that I am in-love with him or blah its the fact that once I again I am not good enough for anyone and people always find someone better EVERYTIME
Why am I never good enough for anyone?!!?
I know I need to let him go but when he is not here I am so depressed :crying:

This sounds so whiny and pathetic lol I always get annoyed at people that feel the need to have someone to be happy but I guess never being close to anyone in my life I liked the feeling and now I cant let it go but I am left some of the time feeling lonelier than ever.
Please help me I hate this feeling. The number of panic attacks I been having lately and the verbally abusing myself and feeling the need to hurt myself is overwhelming and I am not coping.
I have never been this bad in my life and a stupid douchebag lying beep has made me feel like this annoys me even more!

A bit of a rant ha and sorry for the bad grammar and spelling. Oops

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Meggy, you have to let him go. He's crushing your entire self. You do deserve better treatment than that. Don't believe otherwise. You're a person, so you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. If he's for a polygamous relationship or just cheating on you and you aren't okay with that, then there's nothing left to do but to break up with him. It might be tough, but it's going to be like a band-aid: you have to tear it off quick before any doubts come up. You'll be better for it in the long-run. That isn't a healthy relationship.

 

[Gieky]

See, I think you ARE funny - you called him a "douchebag" and that made me giggle

I highly doubt it has to do with finding "prettier" or "funnier" girls. It sounds like this guy just wants to play around and be with as many girls as he can. It might help if you switch the tables around. Look at it from, say... "girl #3's" perspective. Maybe she is a model and comedian, yet he is still seeing other girls behind HER back too. I have nothing against guys who don't want to be exclusive, but a respectful guy will be honest about what he wants from the relationship, listen to what you want and not lead you on if it doesn't match. Cry and let out as much emotion as you need to until the hurt passes and drop him like a sack of potatoes.

 

[Taden]

You sound like you are interesting. I don't know you personally, but everyone is worthwhile in one way or another. *Hugs*

Whether or not you have a partner, the strength you take to live a life you want should come from yourself. I've often heard the phrase "fake it 'till you make it". It seems cruel offhandedly, but I mean it in that if you lift your chin up, you can see further ahead, even if you didn't lift your chin up out of happiness. I hope that made a little sense =S And I hope that douchie douche gets whats coming to him =P And I hope you can maybe start feeling better soon =[

 

[Meggy0001]

Thanks you guys so much!

 

[alxbkr]

Cut him off entirely. Only keep people in your life if they're building you up and not breaking you. The thought of him is obviously killing you. He's a cancer in your life. Get rid of him IMMEDIATELY

 

[theoutsider]

You're giving your all to a player. The fact that he was and apparently continues to meet a bunch of other girls is a dead giveaway. The fact that he doesn't want to make it official just lets you know he is just stringing you along. How many other girls is he using the same tactic with? He sounds like somebody who plays on women's vulnerabilities and isn't worth the space he is occupying in your head. Time to evict him.