I feel more and more unmotivated as time flys by

[206Raider]

I mean as more time and more time goes by that I'm alone and isolated the more I feel screwed in life, like I'm to the point where I'm unmotivated to do anything. I hardly ever look for work although I desperatly need money beucase every job I've ever had I've hated and my bosses too and the jobs I think I can do, I can't becuase I need experience or schooling. I don't want to go to school either becuase I feel so out of place.

I really don't have anyone to hang out with becuase a couple friends wronged me and I'm not one to mend and repair relationships after you've done me wrong unless your family. Only 1 friend and my cousin, and I hardly hang out with them.....I can't carry a conversation after hello. I'm uninterested in anything......things that used to be fun are no more, nothing is fun to me. luckily girls find me attractive but I never pursue anything because anxiety overwhelms me. The ones that I did try to pursue eventually saw through me and saw how boring my life is and left so if theres light at the end of the tunnel I don't see it.

I just feel like a broken soul. Can somebody tell me how do people like me get better? I like to think one day things will get better but i know it has to come within. my councellor gave up in me becuase I guess from my understanding is I gave up on life, but I don't know how to change...

 

[Mack_Berserk]

It sounds like you're depressed as a result of severe anxiety. Unfortunately, when you throw in a lack of motivation/inspiration, you may just find that you need to hit rock bottom before you can begin to see a purpose in recovery.

Of course, that may or may not be the case for you. However, I can say that I'm going through a strikingly similar experience that got to a point where I had to choose whether I would focus on improvement, or just die... Because there was no way I could live miserably like that for the rest of my life.

I'm still here, so... hehe. Still, I would advise coming to the 'improvement' decision sooner rather than later. The rock bottom phase is somewhat painful, both mentally and physically.

Also, you can always try some kind of medication, if you're not already.

I wish you the very best in your discovery.

 

[redski]

Endymion has some good advice. I would like to stress that it is your self image
you should work on and keep yourself busy so that bad thoughts do not take over.

Hang in there!

 

[Richey]

this happened to me for year and what occured was that i would only shower every second or third day, i had no budget for my income at all, i even had coins stashed all over the place. i couldnt sleep properly. i would wear the same clothes for most of the week. i'd allow my petrol to run out before i refilled and never looked after my car. i'd leave my homework until the last night everytime.
i would miss classes at uni and sleep in through tiredness of no self will..
i stopped paying important bills or i'd leave them until months after they were due so i started to drive around an unregistered vehice and was fined the following week i didnt have time to buy a train ticket so i risked it and was caught by inspectors, the only time i'd ever not bought a ticket and BAM! a fine ...
all because i didnt care about myself and i had no motivation or belief in myself lead to me behaving like that ...

its incredible how it can effect people differently depending on the circumstances. in my case it lead to a little trouble with the law (specifically because i was unmotivated and lazy) (car and tax) i left my tax until late through my unmotivated habits. thats how extreme it was. i completely understand what really bad anxiety can lead to especially if you are on your own without someone nagging me to "get this done now". i'm a lot better now but back then i had little motivation and energy. CBT helped me alot though.

 

[PennyLane]

this happened to me for year and what occured was that i would only shower every second or third day, i had no budget for my income at all, i even had coins stashed all over the place. i couldnt sleep properly. i would wear the same clothes for most of the week. i'd allow my petrol to run out before i refilled and never looked after my car. i'd leave my homework until the last night everytime.
i would miss classes at uni and sleep in through tiredness of no self will..

This is pretty much exactly me during this last year of uni. Looking at it now and the way you've written it makes it obvious to me that we had depression.

I feel better now, but the sleeping is still an issue.

I think Endymion had some great advice for you Raider. Best of luck

 

[206Raider]

thanks for your advice everybody, personally I never post until I get to the point where I can't take it and have to vent but I realized I'm am just depressed ontop of the SA and it makes it very difficult to get anything done and I feel I have hit rock bottom and I wasn't sure if I wanted to live or die. Making that first step is the hardest I guess becuase I've gone to college before and did great (i'm only 21) but then I missed and couldn't concentrate all together becuase I had a lil OCD at the time and couldn't udnerstand it. Now I do but now I haven't gone to college in 2 years and I can't keep a job longer than 3 months. And people were never mean to me or anything I just get nervous and anxious sitting in the class becuase I don't know how to have conversations really and I would dread when we had to "pick partners" or something becuase I don't want to look like a complete loser. I guess becuase in high school, I had "popular" friends but I never felt like I fit in (and didn't bother to call after high school was over) with them but was never picked on becuase of it. I was just the "cool" quiet one but things change and now I'm all alone and so I guess I don't think of myself highly, but I'm gonna take some of your advice and add it myself.

As far as councellors and therapists I agree....that didn't do anythign for me I went to a councellor for a year and I talked and it felt good to aliviate some stress but nothing changed at all. I've been on Cymbalta, Prozak, and Effexor and none of those helped so I gave up on medication I think it's a scam imo plus I HATE WITHDRAWLS! Thats why I feel so lost especially add on top of that that somedays I hide in my room and hardly leave the house becuase A: I'm broke and alone and B: I get too anxious and always hope to avoid conversation (even though in a way I wish it would happen)

I'll keep yall updated

PS you not the only one who gave up on paying bills, I owe 200 on my phone and miraculously it's still on after 3 months of non payment (but harrassing calls everyday that I ignore), not long ago I got in trouble with cops becuase I was a minor and drunk and I missed my court date (so there was a warrant for my arrest) and someone with Sa def don't wanna go to jail so I hid for about months before they came to my house. Dealt with that and spent over a year doing 70 hours of community service

 

[Satyr]

I totally sympathize with your situation. I think Endymion has some sound advice though. I'll definitely give it a try & I think you should too. I'm sort of like a mix between you (206) & Richey in regards to this situation at least. Good luck guys & as you find some tricks to help yourselves along the way do post them! I'll do the same.

Stay safe