I feel like the ugliest man alive.

V

valle

Member
I always thought i was alone, until i found this forum yesterday.People with different phobias and social problems like myself. Please excuse my grammar my English isnt the best but i will share my story. My name is alex ive felt ugly and worthless all my life, all my relationships have been long distance, ive never had a real love life and im 24 years old. Im in the latin music industry and have a bit of a name so lots of times i have to perform and travel and smile when deep down inside im dying.

My fear of rejection has taking over my life, i try not to approach women because if i get rejected it just destroys me even more by looking in the mirror and feeling even more ugly. This is the first time im sharing this with anyone. The latino community isnt very understanding when it comes to things like this,but the thing that really mindf***s me is that ive met a few women who have told me they thought i was just some "prettyboy" who gets lots of women and was cocky and arrogant. They all say this when they really get to know me then they apologize. I even had one woman tell me she didnt think she was pretty enough for me! that was really weird...

Whenever i walk by groups of people or hear a laugh i always think they are laughing at me, or when a i see a pretty woman and she looks at me i feel like a fool because i never look in her direction again. I spend hours looking in the mirror hating myself i really feel like an ugly beast i dont want to be alone forever but i think thats what will happen to me... Thank you to whoever took the time to read this it really feels good at least sharing this. For anyone curious to see what i look like ive provided a picture ImageShack® - Online Photo and Video Hosting
 
upndwn

upndwn

Well-known member
Hi, welcome to SPW Alex. I used to have big issues with my appearance as well. I'm pretty short and I could probably loose a few pounds, I also have had problems with spots and acne. I have never had much luck with women and my last and only long term relationship ended when I was 19. I am now 33. SA has dominated my life for many years, luckily all my treatment and rehabilitation has made me a lot better, but it has taken time and I still have a lot of problems. My fear for rejection is as bad as it always has been. It is hard to be happy when you hate the body you are born with. There is no easy answer, but I guess one has to accept who we are, and try to let go of our fears.

I looked at your picture, and although I'm not gay I have to say that you have nothing to be ashamed of. I wish I looked as good as you. ::p:

Best of luck to you
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
Howdy Valle.

You can't be the ugliest man alive, I am. No one's ever called me a pretty boy I can assure you.
 
Captain_Lethargy

Captain_Lethargy

Active member
Kiwong said:
Howdy Valle.

You can't be the ugliest man alive, I am. No one's ever called me a pretty boy I can assure you.
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Pshaw. No way. I'm probably way uglier-I don't think I've ever encountered a physical specimen more unsavory than myself, at least in my age group. We ought to duke it out for the ugly man crown or something.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
Captain_Lethargy said:
Pshaw. No way. I'm probably way uglier-I don't think I've ever encountered a physical specimen more unsavory than myself, at least in my age group. We ought to duke it out for the ugly man crown or something.
Click to expand...

Haha. I think there's a lot of compeition for who thinks they are the ugliest man around here.
 
Captain_Lethargy

Captain_Lethargy

Active member
Kiwong said:
Haha. I think there's a lot of compeition for who thinks they are the ugliest man around here.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but I'm sure most of them just think they're ugly. I would be willing to bet imaginary money that I'm the ugliest. I should have a coffee mug made that says "#1 Ugly Dude"-or "Property of Mother Nature's Cruelest Mistake".

I can't even tell which of my statements are sarcastic any more.
 
anuskas

anuskas

Well-known member
Hi! Don´t think that! Many women would like to be with you if you are a nice guy. You look sad. Try to clear your mind and be happy. :)
 
S

Steppen-Wolf

Well-known member
I don't think you're a super model, but you're not ugly AT ALL.

Lack of self esteem is really a mind breaker, because in this case it is all in your mind. You have the looks now you need to build the confidence to match them.
 
V

valle

Member
Thank you everyone for your responses and support. Now about Body Dysmorphic Disorder, i did see a documentary on that and i can relate to some of the things i seen. When the few women i met have told me they thought i had many females i said to myself wow, i wish it was really like that lol. In reality i cant walk up to a woman without feeling embarrassed and rejected before it even happens. I have never had a real relationship sometimes i wonder if being a musician is for me. I love to write and record music, but i dread singing live and being in the public eye.
 
S

Starchild

Well-known member
Welcome to the forum!

You're anything but ugly, man. When I saw your picture, my jaw dropped! I was expecting someone who would actually be considered as less attractive, but you definitely have a nice appearance. I wouldn't say no to you, to put it like that. :D
 
V

valle

Member
For years ive said to myself go see a therapist but i never did. This situation has gotten very bad for me over the years. Having to be on stage in front of people feels like im being stabbed in my gut. I feel like a weirdo because im 24 and never had a real relationship, and whenever i do meet a woman i get to attached because i feel like it will be sometime till another one notices a man like me.

Ill try to look into therapy again i dont know how much it will help but i will try. If anyone who has been or is attending therapy please let me know if it helps a bit.
 
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