I feel hated no matter what !

[ikbenrifi]

I think i'm a polite guy, i respect people that i meet recently, i smile , i'm nice to them ....etc, but it always ends feelings hated or not wanted at the end of the day !!
even my best friends, i feel they don't really like me inside, are my feelings right or it's just all in my head !does this have someting to do with appearance cuz i feel that's the secret behind all this !

it's just weird to have 26 years and have all this childish thought, don't u think, i have zero years when it comes to relationships and feelings , u know !

sorry guys if my english is not that good, and thanks in advance

 

[lonelee1]

i know this fear. i also know that we can't always trust our feelings. i think most of this is lead up by insecurity. if there isn't really any factual evidence to believe that you are unwanted, then chalk it up to distorted thinking. looks don't matter as much as we'd like to think, but people can judge us on attitude and if we're shy.

if you're nice and polite, you've done your best. it's not a childish thought, these are valid concerns, but with SA the fear is greatly exaggerated.

i feel this way too

 

[ikbenrifi]

lonelee1, thanks for taking time to read and comment
I have to agree with all what u said, it's more about self esteem and how we regard ourleves, it's this self attitude that they manage to read somehow ! the self image gets reflected outside and people naturally tend to get attracted to those who have a good image about themself, the one should just work on the self confidence before anything !thank u again !

 

[jaim38]

I've had people hate me for no apparent reason. I don't know them and they don't know me (unless they heard rumors). Even when I'm nice to them, they don't reciprocate. But when I act depressed, they start backstabbing me, calling me b**** and telling other people not to talk to me. Girls and women are often guilty of this type of behavior. Sometimes they scare the heck out of me.

 

[gustavofring]

Yeah I can relate to this.

Just bringing the best intentions and preparing to be nice, and then people start acting bitchy or arrogant for no reason. I have it on the job a lot. I'm new there and a bit slow still, and some guests really can sense my insecurity. But I try to not take it personally.

I also have it in personal meetings. People with big ego's feel the need to tremble all over me.

 

[planemo]

One of the reasons i stay well away from people is because certain of them seem to hate me for no reason. i understand me being distant and shy makes me seem unfriendly, but that's as bad as my behaviour gets. i don't bully anyone, i'm not rude when i do say stuff, and yet its never good enough.

i can give you a list of folks who have it in for me, since i was a small kid. a lot of reasons were not connected to me (in that they held a prejudice against me) for things i had no control over - like the behaviour of my parents and the city and community i was born in.

being shy just seemed to reinforce this negativity towards me. sometimes i wonder if i'm the wrong one for being shy, or if it's them for reacting that way towards me. :idontknow:

 

[SudarshanBS]

I can totally relate myself to this situation. I am in the same situation now... I feel that no one likes me. May be because of my appearance, or something else but the locus of my identity is completely external. I find myself to be happy only when someone else talks to me. If I spend a day without one of my friends talking to me, I feel really bad. At the end of the day it always bothers me... :sad: :sad: :sad:

 

[ikbenrifi]

It's hard to live with this feelings : constant insecurity, fear and loneliness !
I think there is another determinant factor too -that applies to me at least-, that is the family role, i think they are the one that can give us the confidence zone which is always there, u feel there is someone that loves u, be there for u no matter what !
personally i have this problem and it affects me bad

 

[ryan2022]

There are some very good books on this! Its really common too, Ive had the same feeling come and go in my life.

Just because a thought pops into your head, even if its reoccuring, doesnt mean its true!