I feel disgusted and ashamed of myself

[Whosthatguy]

I'm a 22 year old gay virgin who is desperate to find a boyfriend.

I did the stupid mistake of hooking up with this guy I met on a gay dating web site who is just interested in sex dates.

When I met him, I told him it was my first time and it shocked him. And then I told him that I don't want to go all the way at first, luckily he seemed respectful and polite about my boundaries.

But I still feel disgusted at myself. When I left I thought at least I made a friend cuz we talked for a while after that and he showed me around his house.

Today I discovered that he blocks me...
I give him a call, he picks up and immediately tells me to "**** off and never call again." then he hangs up.

I was stunned, and I cried. I feel so stupid and used even though we didn't do much. And I feel really, utterly disgusted at myself for hooking up with a random guy who probably does this kind of thing on a regular basis.

I feel so disgusted. I can't erase the thoughts off my mind.

 

[PugofCrydee]

We all make mistakes. Best to learn from this one.

 

[jc972]

Well at least now you have a bit of experience under your belt, no pun intended. Look at the bright side, you didn't go all the way. You had the forethought to not let things go that far.

 

[kilojoule]

aw Im so sorry you feel bad :sad: and I know it's a cliche but time will make it better. We all have stuff we look back on and cringe. Don't beat yourself up, all you did was take a risk and unfortunately it didn't go the way you hoped. There's nothing for you to be ashamed of. Hold your head up.

 

[chazer2010]

aw Im so sorry you feel bad :sad: and I know it's a cliche but time will make it better. We all have stuff we look back on and cringe. Don't beat yourself up, all you did was take a risk and unfortunately it didn't go the way you hoped. There's nothing for you to be ashamed of. Hold your head up.

erfect: erfect: erfect:

 

[Angkorwat]

Don't give up on your dating journey. I met my boyfriend on a dating website. Also, you don't need somebody like him in your life who is only looking for sex. Going down that road is a sure way to get diseases. You'll come across someone who thinks it is admirable that you chose not to have sex the first time meeting. There are people out there who want that kind of substance in a person.

 

[darrens]

Was he an outed gay guy or maybe you don't know?
Either way he sounds like he has some acceptance issues going on himself,does something then regrets it maybe he is afraid people find out who knows,but i doubt this has much to do with you,you were just the unfortunate person on the end of his issues.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

You still went with your gut and didn't do anything more than what you were ready for and there is NO SHAME in that!

There's nothing wrong with being a virgin and by not doing it with this guy who only wanted your body-- I think you've just raised your self value a few points, don't you?
Value yourself! You're worth more than one crappy date with a rude **** like him!

 

[Lavinialuna]

I had a guy do that to me when I was 18 and it made me feel like garbage.... but also I AM SO GRATEFUL I didn't give him my virginity!! He probably would have said the same thing the day after whether I had or hadn't!
Gay, straight, guy or girl, it doesn't matter. Your first time should be something special. There is going to be someone great out there you will thank yourself that you saved yourself for. If you were my son, that is the advice I would give. Don't rush it

 

[Kiwong]

You've done nothing to feel digusted or ashamed, Whos that guy.

 

[Earthcircle]

I wonder if you can meet guys in a more intellectual venue. I know that's easier said than done, but if you live in a large city you may find some groups that focus on surprisingly esoteric issues. I recall that, in New York City, there once was a group that met at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center to study Esperanto.