I do not have SA.

[phoenix1]

Its kind of like someone going to an AA meeting who has never drunk alcohol their entire life nor desires it and getting up on the stage and saying that they can help you because they dont drink themselves and have never had any problems with alcohol. That person would probably be boo'ed off the stage pretty quickly.

Its not that she wants acceptance and wants to help. Thats all fine and dandy even - but if you read between the lines and realize the tone shes takes, its quite condescending and offensive in a way. If Ive read it wrong though, then I apologize.

 

[of_darkness]

well ok, it does seem we're the lab rats here, and she and her psychology friends are all watchig us from above. and the 'unethical' and 'not like we could stand up to you' bit is kinda out of order.

but you didn't all have to explode...just cause we're clearly pretty low down on a social level doesnt mean anyone who talks in a slightly offensive way is here to stomp on us. Even if they do want to understand us in a nice way, they cant be expected to make an appearance and immediately get how we would feel to their way of speaking.

why cant we co-operate first? i think this should work both ways. lets examine the more extroverted beings, that makes so much more sense than ignoring them and hiding

 

[Higolo]

Fo sho.

Edit: For sure.

 

[LibertadIlusoria]

i'm in a psychology class, and we were given a list of recommended websites to overlook and this one was my first choice.

I'm a little perturbed that this site was included on such a list. This is supposed to be a place where people with SA can come and feel comfortable talking to others who share their problems without worrying about being judged unfairly. Having people such as yourself coming here to "study" us makes that very difficult. You can study this site all you want, but until you have lived with SA, you will never truly know what it is like. To you, we will always just be something to study, and in the unfortunate event that you eventually do become a psychologist, you will most likely see people like us as nothing more than a paycheck. No, we can't stop you from lurking around this site, and yes, we have our own inner-problems, as you so eloquently put it, but obviously, so do you. You are probably just here to gather information to put into a research paper or something, and don't even really see us as human beings. So often people come here looking for people to use their studies, TV shows etc. and never once consider that maybe, even though we have problems, that we are real people with real feelings and not just something to be exploited for their own personal gain.

 

[themousethatroared]

Nothing can be gained by debating with this person who clearly likes the sound of her own voice. Lets ignore her and move on.

 

[cloaked]

I feel like a fool when extroverted people,without SA are here.

you shouldn't in any way feel foolish. i'm observing the situations you are all posting about. not to mention, i like to help.

i'm in a psychology class, and we were given a list of recommended websites to overlook and this one was my first choice.

i refuse to antagonize any of you. it's inhuman.

I have nothing against you. It makes me uncomfortable to know that a teacher made a list of websites for students to probe around and do research on. Not that it is wrong or anything. It's just one of those things where now that I know it's going on, I am uncomfortable.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is... Knowing that this website is a recommended website for students in a Psychology class to do research on, it kind of makes me feel like a freak even more.

 

[genre_andrea]

okay, finally i can post. that maximum of 7 posts per day is ridiculous!

anyway, i can see my arrival to this forum is very controversial, and i expected these responses. however, i can't further state how much i don't want to treat you like studies. you're all just helping me learn. not to mention, i want to tell you what i know. and yes, me being extroverted, i'm going to say certain things that i shouldn't, and i'll react differently to what things are said, and i apologize now. i've already said things i shouldn't have in here, and i didn't realize until i re-read my posts how rude i portrayed myself.

you can have your own opinons on my intentions here, but i can't force you to believe that i just want to talk, too.

 

[graham_turin]

it's not like you could stand up to me, anyway.

Your attempt to mock people with SA highlights what I think is a misunderstanding about SA: that people who have it can't stand up for themselves. I definitely have SA but I don't have a major problem asserting myself, even in front of strangers, if I feel I'm being treated unreasonably. The problem I have is initiating conversation with strangers, making small talk, being entertaining, and generally connecting with people. Also, I find the most painful aspect of SA is not the experience of being in a social situation, but the postmortem analysis of my performance.

 

[Quixote]

you're all just helping me learn. not to mention, i want to tell you what i know.

Sure but don't assume you are the only one having had psychology courses around here. As far I can see, it seems to be a fairly popular field of studies among people suffering from SA. And, intelligence being independent of social abilities, there is no reason to believe their understanding of the subject should be any less accurate than yours as far as the theory goes, whatever it is worth. Plus, they have the advantage of practice over you.

it's not like you could stand up to me, anyway.

Oh I could. We are not all necessarily trembling every time we meet somebody. SA can be a very subtle thing, manifesting itself with very different symptoms in different people, ranging from extreme shyness to a tendency to physical violence and "bully-like" behaviour. That is to say, if you meet the wrong type SAer, he/she might not only "stand up" to you, but also end up in jail after doing so in a rather aggressive way
Are you taking notes btw? :lol:

 

[random]

exactly what type of thrill would i get from making fun of you?
it's not like you could stand up to me, anyway. not to mention, it would be unethical.

i am simply here for study purposes. and as i said in the previous post, i enjoy helping people.

Uh....what is mean by your comment "it's not like you could stand up to me.."? In an earlier post you say you are here to observe but you are actually participating...not observing. Did your psychology class require you participate? Dispense advice? Or just to observe? You are simply here for 'study purposes' but I thought we were here for one another - not to provide study subjects, educational material to psychology students. I have studied psychology in college and the classes didn't convince me that I was in a position to 'help' others who gather on annonymous chat boards. Your decision to approach users of this site the way you did implies to me that perhaps you don't understand people with SA, you may have wanted more attention than a mere observer would glean, you may want to be able to provide documentation that you are 'helping' others, and are unaware that your comments could be seen as insensitive. Please tell us: the college you are studying at, the name of the psychology course whose students may be observing us, the name of the professor or department that is distributing this link for educational purposes. If you want to learn from us - it would be appropriate for you to supply us with this information.
Also, what is the course requirement for 'observing' or 'participating' on these boards. For example "Must participate on your choice of two boards and observe 2 others etc?" While this is an annonymous chat board - your participating in a college class is not confidential, right? It's a matter of public record, I should think and the psychology instructor would not object to stating its requirements and goals when directing students to websites like these.
Please provide me with this information. You want to help and this information would be very helpful to me. Thank you for the help.

 

[Erythrocyte]

it's not like you could stand up to me, anyway.

Oh I could. We are not all necessarily trembling every time we meet somebody. SA can be a very subtle thing, manifesting itself with very different symptoms in different people, ranging from extreme shyness to a tendency to physical violence and "bully-like" behaviour. That is to say, if you meet the wrong type SAer, he/she might not only "stand up" to you, but also end up in jail after doing so in a rather aggressive way
Are you taking notes btw? :lol:

You Rock Quixote! 8)

Oh yeah, and I feel somehow obligated to say something about andreas little post.. :roll: since it was said/typed as a reply to my comment...
Problem is though.... She is not really worth my while... :twisted:
I could stand up to her, easy.. And by claiming "we", as a whole, can't stand up to her, just shows that she knows as much about SA as you get from reading a pamphlet on the subject..
"We" all have our strengths and weaknesses.. just like "normal" people (imagine that.. :roll
It's socializing politely with nice people, a.k.a. making friends and keeping them, that I have the most problem with... :?
I'm a nice person now and I've got a few friends, but I got into a lot of physical and psycological fights as a kid, getting my revenge on the bullys,.. becomming a bully myself... and I hate myself when I'm like that..:evil:
I see andrea as a bully (..bully on this board, she might be a nice person in real life, I don't know, and I don't care), so on account of my repressed rage... The less I talk about this, the better...

 

[aldebe]

I vote this girl stay here..

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

I don't have much time to write here.

However, I personally felt gendre andrea to be condescending also. I'm not going to annalyse why this may be right now.
I will say however, that my sister is highly extroverted and she has tried to 'help' me in the past before (not forgetting that she has played a part in creating my social anxiety to begin with).

...Helping -truly helping- requires an immense amount of skill.
Some people are really great at helping others, some people are generally ok, and others help a little but get something of a self-esteem boost from 'helping'. ...Some people help in order to create their own sense of self-worth and 'helping' is something of a power trip to them.

...Now, gendre andrea: you say that you are studying psychology. Well study really really carefully, because there is a very thin line between truly helping someone and power-tripping to boost your own self-esteem at the expense of someone else.
I am not saying that it is easy -in fact I am saying the exact opposite. The simple reason for this is that: changing perception is something that very few people manage. And changing perception is what a person who helps must have done themself if they are to show the way to someone else.
And, curing yourself in order to enable curing others also gives a person the much needed empathy and compassion for just how difficult it can be to change thinking to control powerful emotions.

 

[Katjelique]

'It's not like you could stand up to me, anyway'

Actually, I'm a big supporter of tactical violence, I have stood up and shouted down cops, racists, bigots, religious fanatics, and republicans. I've even been in physical fights. Hell, I'm a freaking revolutionary socialist (ironic eh?) and will be standing up to much more powerful forces that you will never amount to.

You are a student in a psychology class, and since this website was on a list for you to pick one and 'overlook' without supervision I'm guessing a very poor psychology class. You being an extrovert means nothing, you can be an introvert and still not have SA. Every person with SA on this forum experiences it in a different way and our collective knowledge and experience surpasses your partial knowlegde of the human mind. You are not a shining star upon your white horse clad in a knight's armor for us. This is what you come off as.

Instead of bursting in, saying 'Behold I am not like you (I'm sane!)' and establishing a weird power dynamic that's makes us uncomfortable and threaten in a place that is meant to support us, you should have respected our place and been more attunded. I still have no idea why you are here, except to 'overlook' the website for your class. That's just creepy. If you have questions, ask them; if you seriously want to learn, think outside of yourself. If you can't do that I suggest you find a website on NPD.

 

[genre_andrea]

you can all go on and on about why you think i'm here and trying to assume what i'm like, etc.

that's perfectly fine. it doesn't bother me.

i can tell most of you are offended by my presence. and you're analyzing every word i typed to pick out what you believe it meant.

but it's whatever. i don't really care.

i'm not going to continuously repeat myself.

 

[humble]

I'm annoyed with you here of course,but it would be hypocritical to say get away. We don't really know each other,so maybe there are other extroverted people here,maybe there are crazy scientists who want some rats for their experiments,or people who seek for a date among poor shy sufferers. See,we can't really know what's going on,so you're welcome.

 

[random]

you can all go on and on about why you think i'm here and trying to assume what i'm like, etc.
that's perfectly fine. it doesn't bother me.
i can tell most of you are offended by my presence. and you're analyzing every word i typed to pick out what you believe it meant.
but it's whatever. i don't really care.
i'm not going to continuously repeat myself.

Andrea_genre,
You didn't answer any of my questions. Perhaps you didn't see them? They are about 7 posts up from your last post. I think ethics are an important part of your psychology class and I believe we should be able to ask which college program is studying us.
You comment that we are "trying to assume" what you are like. Can you see that your initial posts indicated that you made assumptions about us? And those assumptions about us were rather negative.
We are responding to you because you asked us a question - we are not trying to 'bother' you.
You say that you can tell 'most of us are offended" by your presence and that we are using analysis to try to figure you out - but "it's whatever." and that you "don't really care." Gee-you don't care how we feel - but you want to help us, because you like helping people? It's just as well you don't want to continuously repeat yourself.

 

[Tryin]

welcome genre_andrea.

 

[xkiss_me_nowx]

"its not like you could stand upto me anyway"

just try me. :roll:

 

[Kinetik]

Ach leave her, she's only a kid. What sort of threat could she possibly be either way. People need to not feel so antagonized by everything, even if she is really demeaning. That's the reason I won't be talking to her. But as such, each to their own.