I can't stand when people say, "We should get together soon and catch up!"

[Azael]

Re: I can't stand when people say, "We should get together soon and catch up!"

Yeah, I mean, I fully admit that I am afraid of rejection and that I always feel like the person doesn't mean it and doesn't want to meet up with me anyway. So yes, I do fnd it hard to try and initiate things like this.

This same girl did this to me before. She texted me saying she was in the area and that we should meet up. I just said "yeah, definitely," and then she didn't take the initiative to say when and where we should meet up, so I just let it go. So this time when she said the same thing I figured that I would actually try to take the initiative myself and ask what she liked to do in her area and trying to suggest that we should meet up for lunch or dinner. So I do find it odd that she didn't respond to that. I mean, she is the one who initiated contact to begin with. She texted me. She started the game with me and IM'd me. I'm not saying that she's not busy. I certainly don't expect her to be sitting around twiddling her thumbs all day just waiting for me to make plans with her. I just feel that it is unnecessary to say, "we should meet up sometime" if you don't really mean it. There are plenty of other way to still be polite without making a false statement like this.

You have every right to feel the way you do. She is the one to brought the subject up and failed to communicate her real intentions clearly. It's a complete failure on her part. A woefully inept display of social poise and etiquette.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

Re: I can't stand when people say, "We should get together soon and catch up!"

People say those things with the best of intentions. I have a couple of friends in my home town that I grew up with. We have lost touch over the years except for the occasional hello on facebook.

When I say "We need to get together when I am in town." I mean it. I want to do it more than anything. Things just don't work out sometimes. It sucks when people grow apart, it sucks when life happens and you can't actually get together. People want to get together.

I know it's easy to say, but I would try to not let it bother you. People aren't trying to be intentionally fake.

Sometimes we have to read between the lines a little more. To me, a phrase like this means "I enjoy your company, and I'd be happy to see you again in the future" rather than "let's pick a time and date to do something together."

I wanted to quote myself to reiterate my point and then quote Kinetik too because he also makes a good point.

People are not being fake when they say they want to get together. People DO want to get together. When I call up a friend when I am in town and I say we should get together, I LITERALLY mean I want to get together. I know that when they say "yes we really need to!" They are being literal too.

When I say I want to hang out with you or we really need to get together sometime or we need to catch up, I mean it. I miss hanging out and being around that person is enjoyable. I would absolutely love to get together in the future. So when I say those things, I mean, I want to hang out with you and I enjoy spending time with you.

Just because things don't pan out, doesn't mean that I didn't want to hang out with them and just because I didn't initiate things further doesn't mean I wasn't being 150% sincere with my offer. However sometimes I may not push things farther because I am scared of seeing them again, scared that they will see how I am still in the same rut and I haven't done anything with my life. It's embarrassing.

I think it's important to try and stop seeing what these people are doing as something negative and rude and stop taking it so personally. I know sometimes that kind of thing is a lot easier said than done. But you will start feeling a lot better about things when you realize that sometimes things pan out and sometimes they don't. The majority of people have the very best of intentions and want to hang out with you.

Also, YOU say that you would like to hang out with the person and yet nothing happens. So, are you being fake too? Regardless of who sends the invite, you have the power to make something happen as well. Just because they started it doesn't mean you have to wait around for them to plan it. If you really want to plan something too, then do it. But I can't see how if you agree to it and then do nothing, and nothing happens, that they are the ones being fake and you aren't. Food for thought.

 

[ThatOneShyKid]

Re: I can't stand when people say, "We should get together soon and catch up!"

I wish someone would say this to me actually. And I would go through with it, we would have a good time and they would want to hang out with me more. I wish it was that easy but as soon as the first time comes around and you don't go, you can bet they won't be asking you to go anywhere with them again.. :/

 

[doubtmyself]

Re: I can't stand when people say, "We should get together soon and catch up!"

Doesn't bother me. I'm usually glad they are just making conversation. Making appointments and sticking to them is hard work.

 

[Tulicks]

Re: I can't stand when people say, "We should get together soon and catch up!"

This happens all the time to me, and it's obvious that they don't mean it... they're just trying to end the conversation with something nice to say. I normally just respond with something like: "Sure, I would like to get together again; what time would be good for you?"

 

[Richey]

Re: I can't stand when people say, "We should get together soon and catch up!"

its an intrusive comment. its better to say "if you want to we could do this again, when we both get the time" ..or something along those lines. thats what i do, it just makes the situation calm and at least i've put it out there without saying "we must".

people are very wary of others that speak with too much confidence because it can come off as arrogant and controlling even when its with the best intentions. just take note of how you are talking to people. you'll notice that really socially confident people sometimes have a tendency to try and control everything and have a very arrogant way of forming words and sentences. Not always but quite often. Especially when they are so used to controlling other people and the conversation with other people too. it can be very smug when it goes too far.

 

[CrazyGirl]

Re: I can't stand when people say, "We should get together soon and catch up!"

oh yeah, one of the worse cliche phrases to throw out between people when actual plans aren't follow through

 

[electric pepper]

Re: I can't stand when people say, "We should get together soon and catch up!"

yeah this really does my head in, like whenever i was at uni people who i went to college with would be like yeah we should get together over the holidays never happened, this happened every term pretty much, ive just ended up ignoring them because i dont really see the point talking to them when i know it isnt gonna happen.