I've been so lonely for so long.. I finally couldn't take it anymore, so I weighed my options, get closer with my family, or find a girlfriend.. The easiest choice was find a girlfriend, as my family is impossible. So I picked three girls, that were single, that I knew well enough I could talk to, and brought up a common subject.. Mind you only on Facebook, I haven't gotten comfortable enough for physical interaction, but I have been working on how I portray myself in person, I tend to show more confidence now. Anyways, 2 out of 3 will talk to me.. But rarely put any effort in to the conversation, I'm the one to start it, and continue it.. After maybe 20 minutes they stop answering me. The third one I'm apparently not aloud to talk to because she's a bad person.. I don't know her so I won't judge.. But if I try to include her in the same thing I've included them in, they won't talk to me anymore.. I swear I'm not aloud to try and be happy.. Anyway that was me ranting about my quest for a relationship for 5 years, and how when I finally start trying to put effort in, it just gets worse..
I can't do this anymore..
- Thread starter Brandon94
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It is said that things will get worse before they get better.
All I can offer you, Brandon94, is keep with it. You'll make it happen.
All I can offer you, Brandon94, is keep with it. You'll make it happen.
kristina303
Well-known member
I know how you feel. I'm 19 and I haven't had a boyfriend since I was 16 right before I got anxiety. It's hard cause I see all my friends that are engaged or married or have boyfriends and I haven't had one in forever. It sucks.
A friend
Well-known member
I understand how you feel. I haven't had one real girlfriend ever in my entire
life.
This made me depressed, and I felt very lonely...but I got over it. I stopped focusing and although I still get sad about it...I am gradually losing interest in the subject, and there are times when I don't give a damn at all.
Depression is a nightmare, and getting over it without medication is hell. But you know what? I honestly doubt that it's worth it.
70% of all couples in America end up hating each other and breaking up, it's how it goes.
I'd love to find my special someone too, but there aren't too many women out that I'm compatible with.
Don't feel bad, you are DEFINITELY not the only one out there with this issue.
Oh btw, depression pills aren't too good to begin with. I can't take any because I'm already on something that's blocking my seizures.
MikeyC
Well-known member
Pretty much this. There's no magic moment or comment that you can use. It just happens when you don't expect it sometimes. It's tough going getting a partner, so some rejection should be expected. Not that it makes it any easier.
My advise is move on to other girls. If they stop replying after 20mins odds are they are not too keen. But if you would still like to try, then bait them a little. Don't keep messaging them everytime you see them. Maybe have a conversation with them once, wait a couple weeks, another one, a few days later one more. Basically make the pattern random and don't make them feel as if you are just hanging around waiting for them to reply. Also, try to cast your net wider and message more girls, that way, your chances would be boosted.
Hope the above helps you. As for myself (I am a girl) guys generally come on quite strongly if they are interested but fade off really quickly when I start to show interest back. No idea why really. Frequently happens like that for me, I scare boys away
Orion's Hound
Active member
Don't give up. You are on the right track. I used to be terrified of speaking to people and when I talked to them I stared at my feet. I eventually got to being able to look at their hands and then in the eyes (for a little while - like walking on coals, the fear starts getting overwhelming if I keep it up). These were your first three, right? Look at it like a skill. Maybe start conversations with girls you aren't attracted to. Level up the skill a bit, so to speak.
I am not some master either. Far from it. It still overwhelms me to even smile. I started like you though, understand that. Not condescending but just offering encouragement as one who was in your shoes. Try to be careful about coming on strong and if they don't reply, cut them off. Don't follow and try to get a response. Girls are conditioned in our culture to value politeness over truth in social interaction. The likelihood that she will straight up tell you to leave her be or she isn't interested isn't high so ignoring you is a code for that. I learned that the hard way.
I am not some master either. Far from it. It still overwhelms me to even smile. I started like you though, understand that. Not condescending but just offering encouragement as one who was in your shoes. Try to be careful about coming on strong and if they don't reply, cut them off. Don't follow and try to get a response. Girls are conditioned in our culture to value politeness over truth in social interaction. The likelihood that she will straight up tell you to leave her be or she isn't interested isn't high so ignoring you is a code for that. I learned that the hard way.