LycraPantiies92
Well-known member
Hiya guys, this is probably gonna be a long post so i don't even expect yous to read it..but here goes nuthin..
..
i have one proper friend left out of my group now. At school we were close but now we have all left it seems that already they have both made new mates and i just haven't lol! I asked a friend from school to meet up the other week but she rejected me cos she was hanging around with people from college. I get that but it would have been nice if we could have hung about together I don't get why not tbh..>.< i only get so sad cos i have no-one else though! D= she does.
Apart from the 2 girls from school i can't say i have anyone else at all.
So this week, and last has just been filled with sitting in the house on the pc, which i don't think helps the way i feel about people as it seems that i can't go a day without falling out with someone online, or something odd happening.
That has started to make me feel like there is something wrong with me. I must be a horrible person if online people won't even accept me >.<
Why do people never seem to like me? i mean, what did i do?!
Popel use me online like they always have done irl. they'll talk when there's no-one else to talk to, users.
I sometimes think if i could be a completely different person everyone would like me. But i'm me D= ..an being me is crap.
I don't know what people seem to have a problem with..they seem happy with the way i look butu not the personality. Ain't much i can do thou.
Thinking about it, i don't actually think i did anything wrong most times that i've fallen out with people..they just seem not to click with me. If this is what it's like online then i can't imagin ever having a decent frind irl.
Cos friends are meant to like each other..not just be people that are just there..>.<
And i don't have any, probably never have had. Every wee 'friend' i've ever had have used me because there was no-one else, also i admit i'm easy to wrap round their wee fingers! I would give my life for one of those users, they would never in a million years have done that for me i'm certain of it.
And the other thing is, well about college vs school. I was basically waaay rejected at school. People kept bullyin me till i just wouldn't put up with it anymore. I figured out that i shuld only go when i had to be there for a class so i started bending the rules, and sneaking in and out between classes, just coming in for mornings & afternoons etc. so i wouldn't have to spend another minute in the place.
and i do nt regret wasting it. cos it wasn't woth it when the school wouldn't help me at all..didn't ever seem able to i dnt think.
If i needed help i just mind sitting there thinkin 'no-on ein this whole place can help me' :: ..so true >.<
And i'm just worried it'll be the same at college, and wherever i go in the future. Beacuse during the time at school i only made one friend, and not even really because she didn't choose to talk to me, a teacher told her to. So aha. I must be a right fxckup.
I can't even make friends.
The ones that didn't bully me ignored me.
I was a right outcast.
And now i think of it, the way i looked in that place reflected the way i felt in there. It was awful every day tbh! and nobody really seemed to care.
I honestly think forgetting the past will be half the battle to enjoying college =|
Cos i just can't see it being any better, if i still can't talk to people and am the same mess i was at school i don't see me making any mates, and coming out college as alone as i am now, then having to try work, and failing to make mates at work too..and then being a lonely old woman etc.
I just don't believ in myself that i have overcum what i went through enough and am ready to take on college and TRY at least to make sum pals.
On the other hand in the few moths i've been outa school i actually feel mileeees more confident. I just hope it'll not start up again at college.
I need to make the right impression, and i duno how i can !
I'm fed up of being inadequate.. i feel like i don't fit in more than ever and i just duno how to, or even if i actually want to..it's so hard to talk to people sumtimes tbh
am a ****up. people jst hate me and a feel so lonelyy, i duno if i can ever change
I'm not right i tell ye. It isn't doing me any good thinking like this, tis only making me cry.
Not that anyone actually cares, but if i keep hatin myself as much as i do now i'm not prepared 2 cope with it any more D=
i jusd duno who actually wnats to know or even what i can do about this cos i just duno
in conclusion, i don't know! lmao.
xxx
..
i have one proper friend left out of my group now. At school we were close but now we have all left it seems that already they have both made new mates and i just haven't lol! I asked a friend from school to meet up the other week but she rejected me cos she was hanging around with people from college. I get that but it would have been nice if we could have hung about together I don't get why not tbh..>.< i only get so sad cos i have no-one else though! D= she does.
Apart from the 2 girls from school i can't say i have anyone else at all.
So this week, and last has just been filled with sitting in the house on the pc, which i don't think helps the way i feel about people as it seems that i can't go a day without falling out with someone online, or something odd happening.
That has started to make me feel like there is something wrong with me. I must be a horrible person if online people won't even accept me >.<
Why do people never seem to like me? i mean, what did i do?!
Popel use me online like they always have done irl. they'll talk when there's no-one else to talk to, users.
I sometimes think if i could be a completely different person everyone would like me. But i'm me D= ..an being me is crap.
I don't know what people seem to have a problem with..they seem happy with the way i look butu not the personality. Ain't much i can do thou.
Thinking about it, i don't actually think i did anything wrong most times that i've fallen out with people..they just seem not to click with me. If this is what it's like online then i can't imagin ever having a decent frind irl.
Cos friends are meant to like each other..not just be people that are just there..>.<
And i don't have any, probably never have had. Every wee 'friend' i've ever had have used me because there was no-one else, also i admit i'm easy to wrap round their wee fingers! I would give my life for one of those users, they would never in a million years have done that for me i'm certain of it.
And the other thing is, well about college vs school. I was basically waaay rejected at school. People kept bullyin me till i just wouldn't put up with it anymore. I figured out that i shuld only go when i had to be there for a class so i started bending the rules, and sneaking in and out between classes, just coming in for mornings & afternoons etc. so i wouldn't have to spend another minute in the place.
and i do nt regret wasting it. cos it wasn't woth it when the school wouldn't help me at all..didn't ever seem able to i dnt think.
If i needed help i just mind sitting there thinkin 'no-on ein this whole place can help me' :
: ..so true >.<And i'm just worried it'll be the same at college, and wherever i go in the future. Beacuse during the time at school i only made one friend, and not even really because she didn't choose to talk to me, a teacher told her to. So aha. I must be a right fxckup.
I can't even make friends.
The ones that didn't bully me ignored me.
I was a right outcast.
And now i think of it, the way i looked in that place reflected the way i felt in there. It was awful every day tbh! and nobody really seemed to care.
I honestly think forgetting the past will be half the battle to enjoying college =|
Cos i just can't see it being any better, if i still can't talk to people and am the same mess i was at school i don't see me making any mates, and coming out college as alone as i am now, then having to try work, and failing to make mates at work too..and then being a lonely old woman etc.
I just don't believ in myself that i have overcum what i went through enough and am ready to take on college and TRY at least to make sum pals.
On the other hand in the few moths i've been outa school i actually feel mileeees more confident. I just hope it'll not start up again at college.
I need to make the right impression, and i duno how i can !
I'm fed up of being inadequate.. i feel like i don't fit in more than ever and i just duno how to, or even if i actually want to..it's so hard to talk to people sumtimes tbh
am a ****up. people jst hate me and a feel so lonelyy, i duno if i can ever change
I'm not right i tell ye. It isn't doing me any good thinking like this, tis only making me cry.
Not that anyone actually cares, but if i keep hatin myself as much as i do now i'm not prepared 2 cope with it any more D=
i jusd duno who actually wnats to know or even what i can do about this cos i just duno
in conclusion, i don't know! lmao.
xxx
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