I wish I was never born.
Not quite the quote. More a very accurate an true, honest announcement ready for when my Dad's funeral happens...
At the moment... Wondering if anyone would turn up at that apart from me.
Told by my socialite elder brother that we have similarities. He did one bar at their pub while Mum did the bigger, better one. Since those... 1960s? I was born at their hotel I never comprehended, until we moved to a fourth commercial property - the pub I lived in for nine years, separate from our family
I was a nightmare amongst nieces and brothers' wives, and the parents went too far on expenses for the best schools, just because the local next to the pub was rubbish. I had extensive health concerns - not mine - I laughed in hospital - Mum & Dad suffered. Their investment in me was the strongheld belief I had, to pay back everything back to all of the family. Times in jail & hospital made me a blacklisted, bullied family member, while I upheld the best principles of life which won't change,
But I've extended my family concept of a lovely world from WWII and 1950s where every person was kind and loyal
Sadly, anger is with me. But a huge amount of success has cherished by shouting at people, and on the phone, about insurance, medical issues, legal...
where my scientist and engineering attitude spreads to personal communication, physical, and even sometimes religious respect and human rights perspective attained from pure experience and experimental checks and action, and deep judgement of being subjected to oppression and bullying in real life. So much gained from simple matters such as my personal identification, where other people make mistakes and are prone to my judgement. It's never gone wrong. If it ever did, I'd say so, and learn from my own mistakes. In a bank, hospital, ummm... no mistakes made in court, disciplined, charged and subject to sentencing - accepted, as all my people watched. Sorry again to repeat... no.1 crime is to prevent a person's career from flourishing on groundless reasons.
Something I should put elsewhere in a thread: telephone ongoing experiment to change my plan. The root of my failure. Trying my standard outgoing answer message on my lifelong American Cable & Wireless desk phone with all the basics. Hiding from pickup with unidentified or even know numbers all day to revert of auto-answer - the little boy recruiter's psychological tactics of screening methods to see how the caller reacts to an answering machine. Master of all machines I am; it's human communication I simply cannot cope with. Trusting the standard message, which I see people think it's a little daughter answering, having me down as a multi-family man at home. Years of my own message composition of any type, such as send a text or email. Facts based on using the machine standard reams more reward. First time, I try it from my mobile!! My deep failure to think further... The human intercommunication has destroyed my mind. I blame the hardware at every stage. Mic, speaker, line... all messages left cannot be heard to a threshold of understanding. 36 messages on there when I emerge from hospital, making it my project to note each message thoroughly, after long amounts of speech, all I ever can draw meaning from is shouting, screeching, my own name, the word 'recruiter', 36 times. Now, after listening to my own personalised outgoing message by mobile in my bedroom is far to thin to hear anything other than slight noise. Tried a quiet or loud, shouting outgoing message. Sure all these years have bothered recruiters, like I have? £300 spent on any better phone has come to me, but the eternal headloop of spending more in a current dilemma to make thing worse. I have a POLYCOM conference phone on my coffee table with a good amp and handless. The best advantage is to disable the lowest volume ring on desktop phone which gets me jumping out of my skin in fright. I get a lovely purr from from the POLYCOM and full display and handset option with the desktop. Experiments reap experience of the caller moaning about hearing me, while I can for them, with a very adjustable volume. Maybe none of the three microphones work? Endlessly tried this either way. It's the callers that make the differences. I rely 100% on immaculate Skype quality, identification, my personal & business ID. Few recruiters play ball. 3 of those contacts remain, but the interchanges die after one related opportunity do discuss. The is my only chance at employment life. I even requested a check of my landline, moaning about the dismall dB level and uselessness, wanting an upgrade. Of course, an operator turned up. Dialtone success. All perfect. Rubbish. They get my fee for services unrendered. If I was the boss of that, I'd do the same. Oppressed peasants and minions line their pockets
My new tack is to pick up every call instantly, for now. It always made everything much worse for years, using that verve - subject to pure bullying, especially when I react with reverse bullying
Life... pending... shaking, after that post :crying:
