Hyperhidrosis and relationships

[Englishman]

Hi again, I'm just wondering how many of you guys are in or have been in relationships, and how your HH has affected them? I personally haven't been in a relationship for almost 2 years and I don't think I'll personally ever feel comfortable enough again with myself to be in one. Sad I know.. Also, how many of you guys have had children who have also got HH? If the reoccurence rate is 50-50 like I've heard I don't think I'll be willing to risk it.

 

[CharlesN]

22 years now with the same woman. Two daughters, they both have HH which I feel bad about - but I still think they are perfect in every way and wouldn't trade them for anything. There was trepidation in the early stages of dating, but it turned out to really be no big deal at all. You really won't know until you try. Your fears are much bigger than the actual issue - which is the true problem here. There are literally millions of happily married or dating HH sufferers out there. Many of them don't have the social anxiety and so they don't realize they even have a disorder. They just figure they sweat a lot, but it's no big deal.

I think more than anything you need psychological help. Suicidal thoughts and things like that are a sign of a real true problem. Not just a skin or nervous system disorder or whatever HH is.

You can live a very healthy normal life if you want to. Looks at those of us more than double your age who have done so - and those are just the ones that recognize they have social anxiety and HH.

Please consider getting help dude.

 

[foulbeast]

Hi again, I'm just wondering how many of you guys are in or have been in relationships, and how your HH has affected them? I personally haven't been in a relationship for almost 2 years and I don't think I'll personally ever feel comfortable enough again with myself to be in one. Sad I know.. Also, how many of you guys have had children who have also got HH? If the reoccurence rate is 50-50 like I've heard I don't think I'll be willing to risk it.

first of all i dont believe the chances are 50-50 that your kids will have HH... i believe its higher then most population but still lower then 50%. in my larger family incl uncles etc... i am the one with the severe HH. also couple of ppl in my family sweat more then normal but dont suffer from HH like i do.
if it was 50-50 then HH is an epidemic. i dont think so.

relationship wise, i had many chances dating with girls and getting intimate and then i just screwed it up because i started sweating, they thought i was just avoiding them or being shy but that wasnt it.
i truely believe my life could be much better right now if i havent had this issue but hey what can you do right?

also seperated from my ex girlfriend about a month ago. she basicly dumped me but i believe i forced her to... she saw how depressed i am from time to time, and in the bedroom department i wasnt that good either, not because i dont have what it takes but because i was so freaked out sweating drops of water that i almost didnt enjoy it.
although she didnt have a problem with my HH. i once soaked her bed so much we needed to call a lifeguard. she told me she doesnt mind and didnt gave it much attension, so it was mostly me that took it seriously.

i feel like iam at the shrink... writing therapy

 

[aries86]

I am happily married to my high school sweetheart. We have been together for a long time and HH has only affected the relationship a little bit. For some reason it doesn't bother him. I just set boundaries that were a little weird for him at first but now he just understands. He knows to never touch my hands or feet. This hasn't always been possible (like when we got married) but for the most part it works just fine. As far as the kids go, I'm really struggling with that right now and have been for about a year. I obssess about whether I should have children or not. It has caused me great pain. On one hand I think how could I ever take the chance of giving this to someone else? The pain would be to much to handle. I think about all of the things that happened to me growing up and I hate the thought of watching someone I love go through it. On the other hand, I've let HH rob me of my life in many ways and I don't want to make that mistake again. I didn't go to any proms, graduations, or other milestones in my life because of my HH and I don't want to wonder in the end if I should've given at least this a chance, especially considering that it is not a for sure deal that my child will get it. Then I think of my husband and mother. My husband is going to be an amazing father and he doesn't deserve to be denied a child on the basis that something "might" happen. I've discussed my concerns with him and he seems to be willing to have children with me still. (of course like most that don't suffer from HH he doesn't understand the full realm of my fears ) Then there is my mom, who had no idea when she got pregnant with me or my sister that we would have HH. That would've never stopped her. She hates that we have it but she is a wonderful mom, and she has helped my sister and I tremendously with coping with HH. So, I don't know what to think and it scares me. I've had people reccommend adopting, but that is not an option for us. As I've said many times before I'm an otherwise very healthy person besides my HH and I believe I will be able to concieve if I choose to do so, and like most people I want to have my own biological child if possible. Sorry to have ranted, but I can definitely relate to what you are feeling. It feels good to get it out sometimes. Don't let HH rob you of everything. I know what a struggle it can be. Just keep hoping for a cure...

 

[Sprawling]

I've been married for years, divorced,had several long term relationships and child. When it comes to HH our fears of relationship are just that, fears. Always best to get it out in the open about your HH early on. Most people couldn't care less. I dated a friend of mine for awhile and I can see she wasn't comfortable with my sweaty hands. That's seems to be rare, in any case We are great friends. The romantic vibe was not connecting on my end with her anyways.

Today I was in a social situation, some handshaking stuff and I just told those people I couldn't shake hands today do to the sweaty hands. I literally told them outright that my hands are sweaty, nobody questioned it. Some weeks ionto doesn't work as well do to the fibromyalgia. Oh well, not much I can do about that. Does it bother me? Yes, but life goes on. It's easier just telling others about it.

After the social event today I had a date with a women I met a couple of weeks ago. We met in the park and I brought a picnic dinner. Not a drop of sweating... totally weird. With some people we are just naturally relaxed. We had a great time but unfortunately she is recently divorced and doesn't want to get involved with anyone. I guess she'll be another friend added to my friend list. Sometimes there is just no logic to HH.

As for children, my daughter has always had extremely dry hands. In recent years (early 20's) she now sweats everywhere else through out her body and inherited my fibromyalgia. She never sweat as a child though. Not sure who I inherited HH from. My parents don't have it and neither do my siblings. If someone has it or had it in my extended family they surely didn't talk about it.

Try your best not to allow HH to stop you from having a relationship. Be upfront about it and that will take some stress off the situation. In most instances your HH will control itself as one gets used to their partner. At least that's what usually happens with me.

 

[ukchick]

22 years now with the same woman. Two daughters, they both have HH which I feel bad about - but I still think they are perfect in every way and wouldn't trade them for anything. There was trepidation in the early stages of dating, but it turned out to really be no big deal at all. You really won't know until you try. Your fears are much bigger than the actual issue - which is the true problem here. There are literally millions of happily married or dating HH sufferers out there. Many of them don't have the social anxiety and so they don't realize they even have a disorder. They just figure they sweat a lot, but it's no big deal.

I think more than anything you need psychological help. Suicidal thoughts and things like that are a sign of a real true problem. Not just a skin or nervous system disorder or whatever HH is.

You can live a very healthy normal life if you want to. Looks at those of us more than double your age who have done so - and those are just the ones that recognize they have social anxiety and HH.

Please consider getting help dude.

I totally agree with this..you need to get some help x

 

[purewater]

hi englishman!
I can understand your worries about it. But You can't lose the power of reasoning.
it isn't proved the actual percentage of how hyperhidrosis can be inherited, so we can't burden ourselves with this stuff.
I firmly believe hh has always ( more or less, it depends on the case) a strong psychological element.
Many even reasonable worries make worse our hh.
it doesn't mean to become a silly man who don't think at all =)... it means to try to be a bit more carefree and don't worry about problems which haven't present themselves yet ( or problems which haven't been firmly proved yet by science).
I've been having a relationship with a girl since december and she don't know about my hh because i suffer from a secondary hh ( an heavy sweating of the upper body, except palms and face) only during the daytime in the hot days. I can cover or mask my hh with the right clothes and given that I don't suffer from hh during the night I can manage it in the intimacy ( i think it's more psychological than physical at least in my hh case)...
Anyway she hasn't become aware of it yet (the summer is coming) and if this relationship is going to last I'll have to face the talk of my HH's problem and it won't be easy...
HH is a damn burden but we must try to live with... and we can't stop totally to live our lives in front of a just damn excessive sweating!

but please don't worry about that percentage of 50-50!

 

[corranhorn]

I've been in two committed relationships that ended, but that had nothing to to do with HH. The condition was occasionally embarrassing, mostly annoying, and sometimes agonizing. I made it through somehow. I have two children and they display no symptoms. No one in my family has this condition but me.