How to tell friends about your SA?

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namelessmiracle

Active member
I've been in counseling with my new therapist for a few months, and he's been helping me more than any therapist over the past 7 years. He recently expressed that he would like me to consider telling a few of my close friends about my SA. I am nervous but I think it might take a lot of weight off my shoulders.

I am very bad at explaining things, so I was wondering if anyone has any good websites or resources about SA that might be good to give someone to explain my issues. I would rather have my friend read it than have to stumble over my words!
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
While my thing is depression, I told a few of my friends last year and now most people know.

I think I told my close friend I was depressed and I wanted to see a therapist. I was relieved to have told somebody. Then I got more comfortable telling a few more people, and then, once my parents found out by accident, I posted it on Facebook that I was seeing someone. Having held it in for 11 years, it was a relief to get it out there. It hasn't exactly helped but it eliminates having to hide it.

I think you'll feel better telling your friend in person, even if you do stumble, because it's more personal and the emotions you'll ride telling him will be intense, but you will feel better afterwards.
 
gustavofring

gustavofring

Well-known member
I don't know if it's such a good thing to tell them about it at all, especially if they are social butterflies. It's only a breeding ground for further awkwardness. In my experience. People start treating you differently and it becomes a selffulfilling prophecy and they become very self-concious around you.

I would consider maybe only telling REALLY close friends.
 
Iluv

Iluv

Well-known member
I wouldn't tell just anybody, only people I trust. IF you are nervous about telling a certain person then that is your warning not to tell them at all. If you have thoughts about what that person will do with that information, like not be your friend or tell other people then just don't bother with it. If you feel like taking that step to tell a close friend, I say go for it!
 
sullyS25

sullyS25

Well-known member
I personally see no reason for telling anyone....Not out of the blue, if it comes up in conversation why I am so shy I might explain why but to just come out and tell them out of the blue doesn't seem like it would do anything for me but make me feel more different....I also think it would seem like I was looking for sympathy by telling them.....I don't know that is just me though
 
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bsammy

Well-known member
i really have to wonder what your therapist is thinking in telling you to do this.i know that in my social circle telling my peers about my depression and social anxiety, it would mean certain death.ok, not literally but all it would do is confuse them and make me feel more alienated.thats the last thing i need.even if your buddies were caring and trying to understand then they might try to 'baby' you in ways.all in all, it serves no good to tell your peers.bad advice from your therapist imo..
 
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namelessmiracle

Active member
Well, this friend in particular already knows I'm on meds, have panic attacks and anxiety. She's been around for all of it for years! My therapist asked if I'd told anyone, and it was more my idea I guess. I just want her to understand more
 
sullyS25

sullyS25

Well-known member
It just sounds to me like the mentality someone would have if they had cancer and no one knew or something.....Like there is nothing you can do about it, you will always be this way and that is that......That is what i get from this post......Things aren't that way though and you can improve...It seems to me like the only thing telling other people you have "Social Anxiety" or "Social Phobia" or whatever other labels people attach to it, you are just preparing yourself with an excuse to stay like this your whole life.....That is to say that actions like these seem like you are setting things up so you always view yourself as separate.....If you really want to get away from the SA or whatever I don't think telling people will help....That is just what I think though
 
N

namelessmiracle

Active member
sullyS25 said:
It just sounds to me like the mentality someone would have if they had cancer and no one knew or something.....Like there is nothing you can do about it, you will always be this way and that is that......That is what i get from this post......Things aren't that way though and you can improve...It seems to me like the only thing telling other people you have "Social Anxiety" or "Social Phobia" or whatever other labels people attach to it, you are just preparing yourself with an excuse to stay like this your whole life.....That is to say that actions like these seem like you are setting things up so you always view yourself as separate.....If you really want to get away from the SA or whatever I don't think telling people will help....That is just what I think though
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I appreciate your opinion, and it's one I've thought about constantly on my own. I think honestly I just want to find a resource for my best friend and boyfriend so they can understand better while I'm in therapy
 
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