How to accept the situation of social phobia..?

[Skatergirl]

Hey ..
Many times i'm crying about the situation, i'm isolated, i'm not doing the things i wanna do, and i hear people talking like, yea i have a job. i go to sport...
And i'm happy for them, but i always get that down feeling about myself..
I feel like, why can't i do that ????
And i find it so hard to accept the situation of this time.
How do you guys ''deal with it'' ?
i'm upset many times.. Because i want to change everything.
But i just can't.::

 

[NothingElseMatters]

i'm upset many times.. Because i want to change everything.
But i just can't.::

i don't know how u can change everything but i can relate to being upset(and not only that)...for me the reason for being upset is that i always think simultaneously ALL the things that i want for myself and i dont have and not only that but i want them right now...my main thought is that i lost alot of years cause of SA and depression and what if i waste another one for therapy and doesnt work?i'll be stuck again and more dissapointed.what i would do if my mind didn play little tricks on me??i would start very very small day by day and wouldn care about how long it would take me to get where i want...i would just keep going

 

[flokkert]

probeer een balans te vinden tussen dat wat je kunt veranderen en dat wat je moet accepteren. Een teruggetrokken leven leiden is iets wat je kunt veranderen. Altijd verlegen blijven iets wat je moet accepteren. Zo ben je nu eenmaal gebouwd (ik ook).
Het is moeilijk, maar toch is het belangrijk jezelf te dwingen sociaal actief te blijven. Een beetje hulp is nooit weg natuurlijk. Ga op zoek naar een goede therapeut. Echt, er over praten lucht op!

 

[Argamemnon]

probeer een balans te vinden tussen dat wat je kunt veranderen en dat wat je moet accepteren. Een teruggetrokken leven leiden is iets wat je kunt veranderen. Altijd verlegen blijven iets wat je moet accepteren. Zo ben je nu eenmaal gebouwd (ik ook).
Het is moeilijk, maar toch is het belangrijk jezelf te dwingen sociaal actief te blijven. Een beetje hulp is nooit weg natuurlijk. Ga op zoek naar een goede therapeut. Echt, er over praten lucht op!

En nu in het Engels.

 

[BlackKids]

I feel like that alot but you can't expect that everything is going to change overnight.
I would say just try and do little things. Try and step outta your comfort zone as often as you can.
Yesterday I was in a house with like 8 people my own age all in the same room. Normally id spaz out but I was pretty cool lol Felt awesome not to be freaking out for once

 

[mmmm]

Accept it? You don't accept it. You never, ever, ever accept it. There IS something better out there for each of us and we will find it in our lifetime. I believe this with my whole heart.

 

[Sacrament]

Or if you accept it, you also have to accept the fact that you have to do something about it and that there's a whole lot of living to do. Accepting defeat, that's what you cannot do.

 

[Rodox]

Accept it? You don't accept it. You never, ever, ever accept it. There IS something better out there for each of us and we will find it in our lifetime. I believe this with my whole heart.

I agree,what you have to do is take small steps,like get a easy part time job,then when you are confortable you move on to better things.

 

[recluse]

You have two choices; Accept your situation o'r attempt to change.

This is what me therapist told me. There is no way you will be happy if you sit on a fence and don't choose one of the options.

I know i am the same. What really does it for me is comparing myself to others.

 

[sabbath9]

Accept your thoughts and feelings. Change the situation by being willing to have these thoughts and feelings when you take actions that you value.

You want to have a job? Accept that during the interview you may get nervous (it happens to almost everyone). Don't avoid going to the interview because of what you may feel. Don't judge your feelings, just let them be, instead focus on the present moment. You want to have a job because you value being independent. Use your values to guide and motivate you, also to dignify what you have to go through.

Anxiety isn't the problem, avoidance is the problem.

 

[wo.]

Once I learned about social anxiety, I eventually came to accept that this was just the way things would be for me. I didn't think I would ever be able to change. Since I've had it my entire life, I was used to dealing with the anxiety (although of course it was never pleasant). However just thinking about all the lost opportunities and experiences from the past, present, and future really made me unhappy and I felt pretty hopeless. Slowly but surely though I have also been making progress, and I guess at some point I reached a tipping point where I noticed this progress and realised that I don't have to accept living with social anxiety.

You only have one life to live; it would be a terrible waste to let something like social anxiety stop you from experiencing the most basic fundamental things in life. It is something you can change. You might not believe now that you can defeat social anxiety, but you can. It might take some time and some baby steps to realize this, but it is possibly and you should not just accept living with it!

Best of luck