How other people treat you.

[TheNobody]

So ... this is something that has been bothering me for more than a year now.

I had my share of mood swings, and the most 'interesting' thing about it is really that the way how other people treat me depends mostly on my mood, and not on what I say or what I do.
I always go out with my friends on weekends, and that is where I noticed most of this stuff.

When I'm in a really good mood, I often get free drinks from people I barely know or don't even know at all. I even get approached by girls, without doing anything special at all.
One of my friends even told me that I have some kind of 'gift'.

When I'm not in a good mood, a little nervous, or whatever, things are different. No one seems to care much about me. People who don't know me well ignore me or even avoid me. Sometimes I seem to be invisible.
Some people I never met before don't even hesitate to say insulting things. They make stupid remarks about my appearance and so on.

I could go on and tell lots of stories if anyone wants me to, but I think you get the idea.

I don't think that I'm just imagining this ... it's just too obvious.
Has anyone else noticed something like this?

 

[lyricalliaisons]

It's never happened to me because I never go anywhere & I don't have any friends, but it makes perfect sense.....

 

[userremoved]

I think people are just more likely to approach you if you appear friendly and open. My parents tell me this all the time, that I should be more open to conversation. However if I'm in a bad mood I have seen that people will avoid me like the plague because they don't want me to be a "buzz kill". So yeah it all makes perfect sense.

 

[Krista]

So ... this is something that has been bothering me for more than a year now.

I had my share of mood swings, and the most 'interesting' thing about it is really that the way how other people treat me depends mostly on my mood, and not on what I say or what I do.
I always go out with my friends on weekends, and that is where I noticed most of this stuff.

When I'm in a really good mood, I often get free drinks from people I barely know or don't even know at all. I even get approached by girls, without doing anything special at all.
One of my friends even told me that I have some kind of 'gift'.

When I'm not in a good mood, a little nervous, or whatever, things are different. No one seems to care much about me. People who don't know me well ignore me or even avoid me. Sometimes I seem to be invisible.
Some people I never met before don't even hesitate to say insulting things. They make stupid remarks about my appearance and so on.

I could go on and tell lots of stories if anyone wants me to, but I think you get the idea.

I don't think that I'm just imagining this ... it's just too obvious.
Has anyone else noticed something like this?

I get this too. My friends know about my fluctuating moods and how they change fast sometimes. But when I'm in a happy mood, everyone likes being around me, guys talk to me a lot more and I know I'm much more approachable. I get told all the time I have a great personality and I'm funny but that's when I'm in a good mood.

When I'm in a bad one, people automatically know. They avoid me, don't talk to me and pretty much blatantly tell me to stay away until I'm in a better one. People will avoid eye contact with me sometimes lol. But I wear my emotions on my sleeve, whatever I'm feeling is always written on my face. When I'm not in a good mood my best friend says I get this look on my face like I'm trying to kill people with my mind, so I think it's an obvious indicator for other people.

 

[Jesushasomeoneforme]

Women treat me better when I am calm.

 

[TheNobody]

You should put them on the back-foot and make them worry about how you trest them.

Nice one
I have been trying to adopt this attitude for a long time, and I'm getting better and better at it.
I guess it is also one of the key features of SA to think that you are the one who has to proove himself to others, and thus feel inferior right from the beginning of any social interaction.

Not thinking about proving yourself to others is really helping a lot in many social situations.
I am actually getting more and more of the people who approach me to really like me, and I even learned a few 'tricks' to put them on the back-foot.

Anyway, being in a really good mood makes this all so much easier that it seems almost unfair ...

 

[Acme]

I dig what you're saying. Been there myself. All I can say is, shades all the way.