How old were you when AvPD developed?

[Silentknight]

As a child I was the opposite of shy, during my elementary years I would try to talk to everyone the problem was no one wanted to talk to me I was constantly rejected if I were to walk towards a group of my peers they would sort of scatter and I'd be left alone. The teachers were the worst though they thought because I talked so much everyone must like me so they would pick on me thinking I was confident enough to take it obviously that wasn't the case.

I started to get bullied and made fun of alot which made matters worse in my neighborhood their were alot of kids and at first we all hung out but slowly they started distancing themselves from me and then came more insults from the people I thought were my friends that's when I started hiding inside my house so as to not to deal with the pain of the insults. I still remember looking out my window and seeing all my old friends have fun and deciding to go out and give it another shot only for them to stop what they were doing and tell me just go back inside no one wanted to play with me and that they hate me.

My major withdraw from people started in sixth grade all these rejections and taunts had gotten me to fear rejection so much that I would rather just keep my mouth shut so as to not be rejected and that's where AvPD started and it has only gotten worse since.

 

[EscapeArtist]

I think it developed when I wasss.. around 11. I moved from Portland Oregon to a little town in BC. I was a really well known, high acheiver who seemed to have been loved by all the teachers and students in Portland in my elementary and when I came up here I was a social reject, and the teacher actually told my mom that i'm "nothing special". I was made fun of a lot, although I was really oblivious to it. I latched on to one good friend and that seemed to help it a lot, I'd be able to go outside, but when I don't have a good friend I become a recluse in my house.

 

[omnighost]

It's hard to say exactly when it began I had always been shy around people. I began homeschool when i was about 13-14 then I went back to public school in high school and had only minor problems throughout. I would have to say it hit me the hardest and has continued since I was 21.

There is a combination of things that could have triggered it. College made me really realize that I could not live up to social norms and that I was very different from all these other people. I made only one or two friends and lots of enemies. The entire time I was in college I felt like everyone was watching me and I could hear parts of conversations and often they were about how strange I was. It became such a stress that it was if my mind and body just shut down. I found myself unable to force myself to leave the comfort of my own space anymore.

 

[petrified eyes]

I was just diagnosed last week, but reading up about it I figure I started getting symptoms around 9 or 10 years ago. One more acronym in my growing list: SAD, GAD, PTSD, MDD, now AvPD. ::

 

[EscapeArtist]

Hmm.. I would say I've had it since I was a toddler, but it's been more severe lately because then I always had people to force me out.

 

[dottie]

Okay, what Ive read about Avpd it seems people have it from childhood. I have not. Its just recently for me become full blown and Im 29yrs. Is it possible to develop this from circumstances?

i'm not a doctor but it if it is developed it might be PTSD.

I think certain things over the past 10yrs that have happened led me up to this point. Like say 6yrs ago this wasnt as bad, I could go to resturants with no problem, talk to people here and there with no problem..but I did avoid certain things if unpleasant..and I don't know if it just became a bad habit from that or what.
Me getting a full time job working with more people blew it out of the water. Before I used to do cleaning and either worked by myself, or worked with maybe a few others and it was part time, I didnt have any problems then.
So how old were you guys when you developed this and what triggered it?

you said that before you only worked part time with very few people. is it possible that you've always had it but only discovered it by working full time with more people? like it was always there but you didn't realize how extreme it was until now because you never really had to deal with it?

if i am not working my avpd is seemingly dormant. i can deal with people on my terms, i can blow them off, i can hide out, i can go out when i want. things are fine. notice i said "seemingly dormant". i am still technically avoidant as i still don't make eye contact, avoid aisles at the store with people in them, things like that. i rely on coping mechanisms but i feel good about myself.

when i have to work fulltime around a lot of people i feel on the verge of a nervous breakdown. i basically implode. it's not because i am lazy or don't want to carry my own weight. it is because of the socializing. it isn't the passing customer. it is the awkward false relationship with everyone in the office. it is the coworkers, the office politics, the judgement, the gossip. these things eat at me.

this is why i asked if maybe you had it the whole time but only realized it in a situation in which you could no longer rely on coping mechanisms.

as far as how long have i had this personality (starting off much less extreme!), since i was very young. i was a sensitive kid and the beliefs my parents instilled in me shaped me to be fearful at a very young age. it's like my parents wanted me to be afraid of other people for their own convenience. they wanted me to be the meek, quiet, unintrusive kid that did not draw attention so they made me feel threatened and afraid of other people to achieve this. it worked but it also damaged me. now i am still practically mute and people think something is wrong with me. when people instill fear and withhold affection at the same time that's very damaging. so i started off as a sensitive but normal child who developed avoidant traits at a very young age, progressively snowballing in conjunction with parental conditioning into fullblown AVPD.

 

[Skog]

PhillyFlyersGirl -- What were you like as a child? Are you implying that you were sociable as a child, but as a yound adult something you haven't been able to identify has triggered behavior that matches that typically associated with avoidant personality disorder?

I can recall feeling left out or worrying about potential rejection or causing myself to be excluded to avoid those feelings or worries from somewhere around 10 or 11. I don't recall feeling that way earlier, but it seems normal that it would be harder to remember the oldest events.

It was only as a middle-aged adult that I read about and self-diagnosed as AVPD. Someone referred to me as anti-social. I started reading about that to see if I was. I didn't match up with that description, but I did for AVPD. Reading about it, I then thought back to various times as a child where I felt excluded while at someone's birthday party or avoided a social gathering to avoid feeling excluded while surrounded by people. My reaction was to withdraw from everyone and not participate. So I am now assuming that was the reason I behaved that way then.

 

[exquisite]

can someone please explain to me what exactly is the difference between AvPD and SA?

 

[Skog]

can someone please explain to me what exactly is the difference between AvPD and SA?

Here's a site that seems to have a pretty good description of social anxiety disorder:
http://www.anxietynetwork.com/diff.html

Here's site that I feel has brought together in one place the best set of information on avoidant personality disorder:
http://www.tljones.co.uk/apd/apd.htm

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

i'm not a doctor but it if it is developed it might be PTSD.



you said that before you only worked part time with very few people. is it possible that you've always had it but only discovered it by working full time with more people? like it was always there but you didn't realize how extreme it was until now because you never really had to deal with it?

if i am not working my avpd is seemingly dormant. i can deal with people on my terms, i can blow them off, i can hide out, i can go out when i want. things are fine. notice i said "seemingly dormant". i am still technically avoidant as i still don't make eye contact, avoid aisles at the store with people in them, things like that. i rely on coping mechanisms but i feel good about myself.

when i have to work fulltime around a lot of people i feel on the verge of a nervous breakdown. i basically implode. it's not because i am lazy or don't want to carry my own weight. it is because of the socializing. it isn't the passing customer. it is the awkward false relationship with everyone in the office. it is the coworkers, the office politics, the judgement, the gossip. these things eat at me.

this is why i asked if maybe you had it the whole time but only realized it in a situation in which you could no longer rely on coping mechanisms.

as far as how long have i had this personality (starting off much less extreme!), since i was very young. i was a sensitive kid and the beliefs my parents instilled in me shaped me to be fearful at a very young age. it's like my parents wanted me to be afraid of other people for their own convenience. they wanted me to be the meek, quiet, unintrusive kid that did not draw attention so they made me feel threatened and afraid of other people to achieve this. it worked but it also damaged me. now i am still practically mute and people think something is wrong with me. when people instill fear and withhold affection at the same time that's very damaging. so i started off as a sensitive but normal child who developed avoidant traits at a very young age, progressively snowballing in conjunction with parental conditioning into fullblown AVPD.

You know what, I've wondered if maybe I had it before.. because like you said I wasn't around a lot of people all the time, (I wasnt tested) I had time to recharge and deal with people on my terms..that could also be said of introverts or loners, feeling drained or overwhelmed by a lot of people, having to fit in all the pressure could make one snap and maybe I snapped. (Although loners are so by nature and so are introverts) Speaking of which I know even if I didnt have avpd or sp I'm an introvert, I can't say though Im a loner. But Im still not going to (without fear) make a ton of friends and be a social butterfly. For whatever reason I was the opposite when I was younger.

I avoid aisles at a store with people in them too, lol.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

PhillyFlyersGirl -- What were you like as a child? Are you implying that you were sociable as a child, but as a yound adult something you haven't been able to identify has triggered behavior that matches that typically associated with avoidant personality disorder?

I can recall feeling left out or worrying about potential rejection or causing myself to be excluded to avoid those feelings or worries from somewhere around 10 or 11. I don't recall feeling that way earlier, but it seems normal that it would be harder to remember the oldest events.

It was only as a middle-aged adult that I read about and self-diagnosed as AVPD. Someone referred to me as anti-social. I started reading about that to see if I was. I didn't match up with that description, but I did for AVPD. Reading about it, I then thought back to various times as a child where I felt excluded while at someone's birthday party or avoided a social gathering to avoid feeling excluded while surrounded by people. My reaction was to withdraw from everyone and not participate. So I am now assuming that was the reason I behaved that way then.

Yes I was pretty much a social butterfly as a kid. I think I had a good balance though because there were times I liked being alone and wanted to play alone. But then there were times I wanted to be around my friends and play all day and hang out. There were certain situations I was shy in and I was passive, I wasnt aggressive in the outgoing sense or like to compete with people in the outgoing sense. And the only thing that I could think that triggered the sp and avpd was a rumor that was spread around about me in highschool, I think I went totally into myself because of that. It blows me away how one event can totally change a person. And its not like I realized at the time what was slowly happening to me.

 

[DekKO]

8th grade so about 2 years ago. It really started with my dad losing his job and it turned my life around. I was afraid to come out of my room because I didn't want to talk to him because he was always so depressed and angry. It isolated from the world and I found myself taking less and less chances in life than I used to. I miss the good old days when life was fun. ::

 

[harlseq]

I've been a noticeably quiet and reserved person in social situations pretty much my whole life. However, I always had at least a few friends and was able to function quite well among my peers.

For me, it really started becoming a significant problem during my early twenties when it became apparent how incredibly anxious I became around girls and other unfamiliar people during informal situations. I began thinking about it and becoming aware of it as well. It was around this time that it actually began seriously interfering with my life and making me realize that something wasn't quite right. Before this I just attributed my anxiety to shyness, but now (just turned 26) I can't help but realize it is indicative of something far more.

 

[Uninterested]

I can't say for sure when I got AvPD, but I've always avoided people in public, and even when people came by my house that I didn't hardly know I'd lock myself in my room until they were gone... I've never felt as though I was able to get myself to face whoever it might be. I'm to the point now where I can't stand indirect interactions with people either, such as xbox live, and myspace.