How do you know when to show/use anger?

[deleted #89]

I have such a hard time externalizing my anger towards anything or anybody. Im either really passive or really cruel and angry if I have too...there is no middle ground. Many times I will doubt myself and I am never sure if its appropriate to use/show anger.....

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Anger should be in use when a threat is present or if something offensive has presented itself to you, but moreso the first than the second. In the second case, you can just walk away. Sounds like you need to teach yourself how to control your anger. I guess try to imagine those situations that made you angry and try to release a controlled amount of anger. Remember, the amount of anger you need in a situation is relative to how dangerous or offensive it is. If it's just someone annoying you a bit, then a small bit of anger should suffice for example. But the best option is always walking away.

 

[deleted #89]

Anger should be in use when a threat is present or if something offensive has presented itself to you, but moreso the first than the second. In the second case, you can just walk away. Sounds like you need to teach yourself how to control your anger. I guess try to imagine those situations that made you angry and try to release a controlled amount of anger. Remember, the amount of anger you need in a situation is relative to how dangerous or offensive it is. If it's just someone annoying you a bit, then a small bit of anger should suffice for example. But the best option is always walking away.

My problem is that I internalize my anger....???

 

[DeadmanWalking]

My problem is that I internalize my anger....???

Hmm. Maybe I just read things wrong. I'm sorry. Let's try things a second time; hopefully, I won't read things wrong again::.

Anyway, find some sort of outlet for it. Take up some martial arts, go exercising, meditate, punch a pillow, those are all common examples of things people do to release their anger.

 

[Kiwong]

I tend not to show anger. I could express anger towards those that misrepresent me. I think that this would only escalate the ill feeling inside of me, because by showing anger this will only escalate the divisiveness. Anyone who shows me hostility is probably exhibiting immaturity and any anger directed towards them is only likely to heighten their hostility. I think the right way to react to hostility is not at all.

 

[MikeyC]

I hardly ever show my anger, and when I do, it usually is repressed or comes out as disappointment. I realise it's unhealthy to suppress my anger as it gets bottled up, and I have shown it at bad times, but I find it hard to express such hostility, as I'm afraid of confrontation.

Mr. Wonderful, anger management might be a good way to get you to express your feelings properly and in a controlled way. Otherwise, if something is making you angry, speak up, and hopefully it won't escalate from there.

 

[theslowesthand]

Otherwise, if something is making you angry, speak up, and hopefully it won't escalate from there

Of course some people won't "allow" you to confront them at all (all they do is ridicule you [more], become threatening, completely ignore you, change the subject, say 'shut up!' aggressively, or simply walk off)

 

[Iluv]

I have been to an anger management class because I am like you, no middle ground at all. I get violent and I get violent fast. Ever since the class I feel like I'm controlling my emotions too much and not even bothering expressing my anger. It's not bad to express that you're angry, just don't do it in a completely mad form (like punching somebody.. etc.). Show it by talking it out, say "I am angry" or something like that. Eventually hopefully it will come down a notch or two. I only use anger though when I'm in a situation that flicks the switch, and I always end up regretting it.

 

[deleted #89]

The thing with em is that I rarely get angry in the moment but juts afterward when the "incident" already happen.