How do you feel about people telling you not to worry?

[lilmutegirl]

When I first sought help for my SA, the counselor I was seeing told me to remember that everyone in my classes was not focused on me. Even knowing this, I was uncomfortable in the environment. I was reminded of this tonight, when my boyfriend wanted to come over to my house. It's a mess so I became very anxious. He ended up not coming over, but assured me that he would not judge me based on my house. Several people have said the same thing to me, but it doesn't make me feel any better.
While I understand these people are trying to make me feel more comfortable, it doesn't work, and it angers me some.
How do you feel about people telling you not to worry about what other people think?

 

[Srijita52]

Yeah, just knowing that we should not worry doesn't make it go away. I guess the only way to reduce worrying in the long term is to face the situation that makes you worried.

 

[laure15]

When people tell me not to worry when I'm in public situations, I don't trust them. I've been through harassments and bullying before, and everytime, I tell myself, "don't worry, no one is looking at you or picking on you" and it turns out to be the opposite. I kept denying the truth and was living in my own little 'bubble' until it bursts. Those people who tell me not to worry, they don't know my situation and haven't experienced the negatives for themselves.

 

[Hellhound]

Depending on the situation, I try to accept it or I say "sorry, that doesn't work"

 

[JuiceB]

People can't understand what it's like unless they've been there. Don't worry? If it were only as simple as clicking a switch i would of done it years ago.

 

[Nathália]

I think "don't worry" has multiple meanings besides not worrying. Sometimes it can mean shut up, things will pass and get better, you can do this, etc it depends on the context of the conversation and how it's said. It sometimes matter to me who it's coming from because I know sometimes people tell me not to worry because they are very supportive of me and understand my anxiety. Then from other people it seems like an insufficient remark and they may not understand, or they just don't care or don't have much to say themselves.

 

[Etbow23]

People can't understand what it's like unless they've been there. Don't worry? If it were only as simple as clicking a switch i would of done it years ago.

I think that pretty much hits the nail on the head. Is that the saying? It feels wrong..but i guess everyone can figure out what i'm trying to say.

 

[Engulfed707]

It gets old & annoying, but at least it shows someone cares, even just a little. Frankly I get angry every time I get told to stop stressing, but it's no one's fault.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I know what you mean with the messy house situation. I live with my dad and the house is a **** hole, and its vastly his fault, sure Im not perfect, but I dont leave peanut butter on the *****ing counter and ignore it, my mess is usually just some paper laying around, I could grab a trashbag and a vaccum and spend about half an hour and my part of the house looks great.

Ive stayed single largely due to the fact that I still live with my dad (Im 28), and the house is so ****y. Unfortunately my job doesnt pay well enough to afford a car and rent so my solution ironically is to not be single so I can have someone to live with that would be able to help with rent and stuff.

 

[Fighter86]

Well I am tempted to say try living a day in my life. If I could stop worrying why wouldn't I, worry is no fun you know.

 

[vj288]

I know they mean well. I disregard their opinion completely and continue to worry or not worry as I would have had they said it or not, but I don't mind it being said. I would rather being given a good reason not worry though, one that may change my state of worry.