How do you cope with strangers glaring at you in a public place?

[killertubbie]

How do you guys feels about it and how do you react afterward? What goes throught your mind during that moment and a few minutes later?

I don't know if it is the right place to open such thread but I've always suspected myself having minor social anxiety. I'm not sure about the source and think it's due to the fact that I'm becoming more and more sensitive to stranger's glares. In crowded places, when I'm conversing with someone, I have the habit of looking around to see if there's anyone staring or glaring at me and felt like I'm being judged!

It's really not easy living as a person who is not physically gifted. When I got glared by men, I'm very annoyed and when it comes from women, it hurts a bit and I feel like I just committed a crime by staring subtly at them. It gaves me the message that only an handsome man can stare at me.

It also happens when they're in my sight, I can see how tense their facial muscles are, it gaves me the impression that they're disgusted by my presence without the glare. There might be a lot of mistinterpretations from my perspective, but I know I'm pretty sure how to read many of those facial expressions.

I'm aware that attractive women gets a lot of attentions from tons of men a day,it's probably annoying and creeps the **** out of them. I can partly understand this situation and I'm trying to use this as an excuse to console myself that I'm not alone feeling this.

Don't get me wrong, there's only a handful of people that glares at me in my daily life, not everyday, but it still sucks when it happens. You're wondering why the hell this person is glaring at you?!!? Any good reasons?!! Geez!

I believe there are people who are simply 'uglyist' (We should invent this new word) like racist or sexist people. Instead of picking on the race or the gender, there are people out there who mistreat others simply because they don't find these people attractive. I think it's one of the worst taboo of all and we don't talk much about it...

Anyways, sorry for the length, I'm a newbie in this forum and I probably need to express myself in here because it's liberating and when I read some of your threads, I can relate my life to most of yours.

I know it's not the greatest thread to read, I'm not that skillful but without being selfish, thanks to those who reads this and I'm open to any criticisms.

Just sharing my bizarre state of mind!

 

[Cynic]

It's really not easy living as a person who is not physically gifted. When I got glared by men, I'm very annoyed and when it comes from women, it hurts a bit and I feel like I just committed a crime by staring subtly at them. It gaves me the message that only an handsome man can stare at me.

That's the law of nature. Women are naturally offended when any male they consider beneath them checks them out.

 

[killertubbie]

That's the law of nature. Women are naturally offended when any male they consider beneath them checks them out.

Would you come up to them and say how are you?

 

[Minty]

They glare at you? Not just stare? Because that's extremely rude and frowned upon by society. Just like pointing at a stranger. It's rude to point and most people don't do it. I'm surprised you've come across that many people who openly glare in public.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I think maybe the OP means they *feel like* people are glaring.
Even the most innocent glance can look like a glare when you're having an anxiety attack... or at least, that's my experience.
I feel eyes on me all the time-- which is why I don't leave my house.
It's almost paralyzing, feeling people *glaring* at you-- glancing up at people to see that people ARE looking in your direction, but odds are, they probably aren't staring at you for any specific reason.

I keep repeating to myself that the things I am instinctively thinking (people are staring, there is something wrong with me, people hate me) are probably not true. Everyone is living their own lives--- people are probably too busy with their own things to bother 'hating' on you.
right?

That's what I try to tell myself, anyways.
It hasn't helped yet, but I hope someday I can be around a person/people without being paranoid about what everyone else is thinking about me.


If people are actually gawking at/glaring at you constantly--- those people have problems. Not only that; but they have no manners. That's just plain rude.

 

[Kiwong]

I was walking with a limp yesterday, and a guy in a car yelled out "Spaz."

I didn't cope real well, and turned around and swore at the driver, and challenged him to come back and say it to my face. I was very angry, because I hate this town I live in , there is a small-minded sickness in some of the people who live here. I slot the plot, and was ashamed of myself.

So I don't handle it very well at all, being glared at, called names or mumbled about. It increasingly makes me angry, and sometimes it keeps me awake at night and I have to work very hard not to consider biting back.

 

[killertubbie]

They glare at you? Not just stare? Because that's extremely rude and frowned upon by society. Just like pointing at a stranger. It's rude to point and most people don't do it. I'm surprised you've come across that many people who openly glare in public.

Maybe glaring is not the right word in most of the situations I'm in, it happens rarely though. When it is men who's staring at me, they're doing it for about 5seconds and if there is a contest, I'm always the loser for looking away. 5 sec is too much! You're wondering what his problem?? A few does glares at me, but very seldom.

When it comes to women, they're giving me a look like they're despising me.
I feel like a creep even though I didn't mean to stare at them, they just happens to be in my eyesight.
I try to put myself in the women's point of view and it's understandable that some of them gets a lot of attention from men.
It's a shame that some men out there are staring at women in a creepy way, I've noticed that and no wonder why we're all put in the same basket by the ladies. Sad!
I'm fine with people who's staring at me with subtlety and I accept that because I'm doing the same without abuse.

I feel eyes on me all the time-- which is why I don't leave my house.
It's almost paralyzing, feeling people *glaring* at you-- glancing up at people to see that people ARE looking in your direction, but odds are, they probably aren't staring at you for any specific reason.

I keep repeating to myself that the things I am instinctively thinking (people are staring, there is something wrong with me, people hate me) are probably not true. Everyone is living their own lives--- people are probably too busy with their own things to bother 'hating' on you.
right?

That's what I try to tell myself, anyways.
It hasn't helped yet, but I hope someday I can be around a person/people without being paranoid about what everyone else is thinking about me.

Well Weirdy, what's the causes of your situation? Is it because you're not comfortable with the way you look or something? Or is it like I said, too many men are looking at you like creeps and you have enough of it?
I'm telling you that if I'm happy with myself, chances are slims that I'm feeling some SA.

Since you and Minty are both females, what's your thought about men looking at women? I'm curious to know from a female's perpectives.

I keep whining about these men and women that are making me feel like an alien and I'm thinking that maybe, these people might also have mild SA just like some of us. Maybe it's a society's problems? Everyone is a victims nowadays!

P.S: Sorry for the long post, it tooks me a while and it's probably nonsense and I'll do my best to cut it short next time!

 

[killertubbie]

I was walking with a limp yesterday, and a guy in a car yelled out "Spaz."

I didn't cope real well, and turned around and swore at the driver, and challenged him to come back and say it to my face. I was very angry, because I hate this town I live in , there is a small-minded sickness in some of the people who live here. I slot the plot, and was ashamed of myself.

So I don't handle it very well at all, being glared at, called names or mumbled about. It increasingly makes me angry, and sometimes it keeps me awake at night and I have to work very hard not to consider biting back.

You and me are similar!! I got called ugly a few years ago by some people. It just piss me off! Anyways, let's reassures ourselves that some people are just uneducated. I guess it's an universal problems and the feeling what you've benn through, I know them. Sorry for that.

 

[JamesSmith]

I used to have this problem until I learned that life is much easier around strangers when you don't pay very much attention to them. I've noticed that when I pass by some people, they want to slow down and just have this lame staring contest and observe this unusual shy kid they've never seen before. I've noticed that people don't do this nearly as often when you just look calm like you don't care about them. I don't even make eye contact with strangers anymore for the most part. The main thing I got tired of was them looking into my eyes and seeing that I was shy and then giving me some look like they think it's sad that i'm shy, laugh at me, or look at me like I'm less than them. I finally figured out that I have the right to not make eye contact because I'm shy and when so many mean people out there who have given me a look or laughed or insulted me in the past, they have lost their right to have me look at them. Strangers have abused their luxury of my eye contact, and they will not be receiving it anymore unless I get rid of my anxiety.